Thursday, May 10, 2007

Why We Need Better Sex Ed

Poorly Drawn Cartoon
Kids Today...

DEAR ABBY: This may seem like a dumb question, but I really need to know the answer. Can you get pregnant when your breasts are still underdeveloped?

My boyfriend says you can't, but I need to know for sure. I'm afraid to keep birth control in my room because my little sister, who I have to share a room with, constantly snoops through my stuff when I'm not there. She would be sure to show it to our parents if she found it because she loves to get me in trouble, so I really need to know the answer to this. -- QUESTIONING IN OKLAHOMA
Yes, I read "Dear Abby" everyday. But that's besides the point. Abby answers "Questioning's" question a bit too forgivingly I think...

DEAR QUESTIONING: There is no such thing as a "dumb" question.

Your boyfriend is mistaken. Breast development has nothing to do with whether a girl can become pregnant. The onset of a young woman's menstrual cycle has everything to do with it. Under no circumstances should you have unprotected sex. Not only will it place you at risk for pregnancy, but also for sexually transmitted infections.
I just would have wrote... listen dummy, your boyfriend is a liar who just wants to get his rocks off. Send him packing before he sends you to the maternity ward. You don't want no baby mama drama!!

Ah, I should have an advice column.

Also... why's this girl WRITING DEAR ABBY about this? There's not one person she knows who can answer this question (in a more timely fashion, perhaps)?

And a couple days ago I read the most shocking Dear Abby column:

DEAR ABBY: Please help me to warn your readers about an alarming trend happening in the teenage community: prom babies. I first heard about it while driving my teenage daughter to a lacrosse meet with several of her girlfriends. One girl in the car, "Carrie," said she hoped this year she could have a prom baby. The girls were discussing two former classmates from last year's lacrosse team who had been unable to begin college because they had both become mothers at 17.

Both had deliberately planned to get pregnant on prom night -- hence the term, "prom baby." Abby, both of the girls were studious and hard-working with bright futures ahead of them. One had been accepted to several Ivy League schools. Needless to say, their parents were devastated, and many adjustments had to be made for the new babies.

My daughter later told me that several of her other friends were considering trying to get pregnant near prom time so they, too, wouldn't have to deal with the pressures of going to college. Apparently, parents are less strict about their children's whereabouts on prom night and let their teens spend the night in a hotel or at mixed-gender sleepovers.

I thought this sad trend might be local to our area, but during a class reunion in California I learned the trend may be nationwide. One of my oldest friends, "Dana," confided during the reunion that she had become a grandmother at 43 due to her daughter having a prom baby.

As prom night approaches, please warn parents to talk with their children about the responsibilities of premarital sex and the dangers of a prom baby. -- WORRIED DAD IN ALPHARETTA, GA.
I mean... sure having a prom baby sounds cool. But when you stop and think about it, wouldn't you rather be partying at college than changing diapers? I'll take beer pong over poopy huggies any day.

Maybe I'm just old and out of touch. Maybe you're just not cool anymore unless you've got a newborn to match with your pink rhinestone-studded T-moblie sidekick. A girl's got to accessorize, after all.

Remember when girls used to not slut it up all the time? Why'd I have to be born back then??

Welcome to Paris Hilton's America.

2 comments:

Hot Mama said...

What an incredibly sad note on the state of American culture. Please someone tell me it ain't so!

Angie said...

I don't know how I feel old at 25, but after reading this... man. I can't think of a single girl in my high school who was wanting to conceive a baby at prom. What is wrong with kids these days?!?!

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