Need To Know Basis



The sun is shining, the kids are leaving school, the birds are chirping mating songs in the trees. With so much beauty, the spring to summer transition that marks these blooming days of May, I guess it makes sense that no one would want to bother President George Bush during his mid-day bike ride. Even if there was a scare that a plane was headed for a crash landing at the White House.

Yep. That's right. The White House was at "Red Alert" because two guys had an old aviation map, and didn't know they were in restricted airspace. "Red Alert"-- and no one told the President.

After all, he can't be bothered with these things. Hell, on 9/11, Bush took seven minutes to get out of his chair at a photo op. If that's how he reacts after a terrorist attack happens, then I guess we shouldn't be surprised when he's not even told about a possible one.

Nice to see we take terrorism threats seriously enough that we hurry to hide Dick Cheney, Laura Bush, and Nancy Reagan in a bunker. Now, if we could just remember to, you know, tell the President, then we'd be all set.

Of course, maybe its better he not know.

He was told about 9/11, weeks before in a report entitled "Bin Laden Determined To Strike In U.S." And we saw what happened there.

So let him finish his bike ride.

After all, it's a beautiful day.

Another Hallmark Holiday

"From what I've seen, women have more trouble achieving orgasm than men, especially in marriage" -Espertantina Mayor Felipe Santolia

Brazilian Town Declares Orgasm Day
(AP) RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil — Sex rarely makes the news in Brazil's conservative Northeast — until a small town declared an official Orgasm Day on Monday.

Espertantina Mayor Felipe Santolia endorsed the May 9 holiday, which he said was intended to improve relationships between married couples.

"We're celebrating orgasm in all its senses. There's even a panel discussion on premature ejaculation. But from what I've seen, women have more trouble achieving orgasm than men, especially in marriage," Santolia said by telephone from Esperantina, 1,300 miles north of Rio de Janeiro.

Santolia said the remote town of 38,000 people has been unofficially celebrating orgasm day for years, but that the town's former mayor had vetoed a bill making it an official municipal holiday.

The city council passed a law Saturday creating the holiday. Santolia, who took office earlier this year, said he would sign the bill later Monday.

"I'm 32, single and I have an open mind. Beside the theme is very much of the moment," he said.

Orgasm Day celebrations include a series of panel discussions by sexologists from across Brazil and a presentation of Eve Ensler's play "The Vagina Monologues."

Santolia said the idea of celebrating Orgasm Day at first created a scandal in this poor region, known for its religious fervor. But he said residents gradually residents warmed to the idea.

"I've seen scientific studies that show when a woman is unloved, when her husband can bring her to orgasm, it affects all aspects of her life, her relationships with her children, at home, with the city and at work," Santolia said.

Happy Orgasm Day Everyone!!!

Chicken Run



Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't know the pigs were watching.

Tiny Man Wins Big

The Trophy is bigger than him!!

Also, check out the hats!!!!!!