Thursday, February 11, 2010

F#ck Snow Plows

"Emergency snow removal"

That's what the security guy at Stuyvesant Town called it at 4:20 am when I called to complain about the freaking snow plows blasting warning beeps every two seconds. It's fing ridiculous. No one is walking around in a snowstorm at 4am-- warning beeps are completely unnecessary. Of course, the noise can not be shut off. But it's louder than my damn alarm is that wakes me in the morning. It's right outside my fing window. I've never wanted to strangle a snowplow driver more. Or at least the fing guy who invented the backup warning beep. I'm thinking anyone who doesn't see a HUGE ASS SNOWPLOW backing up deserves to die. Survival of the fittest and such.

Or here's a freaking novel idea: just let the damn snow pile up. Let us have a damn snow day. Half the city is shut down anyway tomorrow. What ever happened to good old fashioned, "Oh my! We're snowed in!"

Seriously. Suck one snowplows.

[UPDATE: 311 noise complaint filed. Apparently, according to the woman I spoke to, they've been getting calls about this all night. "It makes the time pass," the woman said. At least someone's getting something out of this.]

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Why Are The Others Such Assholes?

Aldo The Other...Also From Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Which Is Ironic Because Lost Island Is About As Far From Paddy's Pub As You Can Get.

They've kidnapped kids. They beat up people for no reason. They put people in bear cages. They lie, all of the time. They seem to have at least 3 different leaders at any given time, and each of those leaders seems to adhere to a non-disclosure policy that would rival the NSA's. Yet they call themselves, "the good guys." I'm talking of course, about the "Others" on ABC's Lost.

I've had a lot of Lost posts recently, so if you're not a fan, feel free to check back some other time. But I think you'll be interested in this post too. I know that people who don't watch the show have a complaint that seems to become more and more valid every time the "Others" appear in an episode. What's with all the secrets? If the Losties really are integral to the Others' or Jacob's plan, why not clue them in?

This came up directly in last night's episode, "What Kate Does," when Jack demands to know why he has to give Sayid a pill that he can't be told anything about.

Well, for the sake of argument, lets say the Others really are the good guys. Their fighting on Team Jacob, trying to protect the world from Smokey. Suddenly, the 815ers show up. Some are on Jacob's list of potential recruits. Some, however are not.

We've established that Smokey/Man In Black/Fake Locke is one devious son of a gun. He's managed to fool Locke into trying to kill himself, he's managed to fool people into thinking he's Locke, or Christian, or whoever else he wants to be. Also, through a "sickness," he's presumably turned some people genuinely nuts.

Now, lets say you're an Other. You've been on the island a long time. You've met your fair share of Island arrivals. And you've seen people on Jacob's list end up going bad due to Smokey's manipulations.

So what do you do to new arrivals? Well, if you're truly protecting the fate of the world, you'll understandably be protective of Jacob's secret game plan. Even when speaking to those who have been designated to carry it out. I'd say it's likely that none of the Others, even Richard, knows all of the island's secrets... the better to protect it. After all, we just saw Ben, one of the Others' leaders, KILL JACOB. Which would seem to be number one on a list of things the Others would not want to happen.

Given this context, the Others' secrecy makes sense. They can't even reveal the full plan for Smokey defeat to each other... how can they reveal it to strangers who the barely know? Especially when those strangers are as easily swayed and manipulated as we've seen the Losties be these past five seasons.

Imagine if Locke, who actually briefly became the "leader" of the Others, had been told the details of Jacob's plan. Smokey would know it all now.

In fact, that, I'd argue, is the exact reason why Locke, and no other Lostie, was the body Smokey chose to take over. Remember... it's Smokey, in Locke form, that tells Richard to give Locke the compass... the compass that in the past, convinces Richard that Locke is special. In essence, Smokey is making sure that Locke is installed as a leader in the Others camp, which is his way of sneaking into the Others leadership structure and undermining their efforts to contain him. Maybe Smokey couldn't get close to Richard Alpert before (he seems to not have spoken to him since Richard was still a guy "in chains") but now, as he marches towards the Temple to wipe out the Others, he's carrying Richard as a hostage on his back.

The Others being assholes really makes a lot of sense. Why not just tell Jack that Sayid will soon be demented and that poison is necessary to kill him? Well, maybe because Jack's own father seems to have been possessed by Smokey or the sickness. How can they be sure the son is any more reliable?

So yes, the fact that the Others make answers really hard to come by is frustrating. But I'd argue that instead of being merely a writer's ploy to infuriate fans and distance casual watchers, it's actually a major part of the plot and a key to understanding the fragile psyche of the Others: protectors of the island, and possibly--quite probably--the world.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

The Most Terrifying Article You'll Ever Read

Cell Phone Killers

Your Cell Phone Is Killing You

And not just that... Wi-Fi too.


"But come on, that can't possibly be true!"

Well... minutes later, I read this article: Beanzawave. Key line:
"Heinz claims that snacks can be warmed in under a minute thanks to intense heating action from a combination of cell phone and radio frequencies."
I'm moving to the North Pole.

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