Bush and Dick Do New Orleans

With rescue efforts bogged down, law enforcement outmanned, and people dying in the streets, Bush and Dick are doing their part to ease the crisis.

For instance, Bush is taking a "tour" today of the city. He will be flying over it for a second time, the first time being when he flew over the area on his way to Washington DC from his ranch in Texas. From his aerial vantage point, the people will look like ants, which is how Bush prefers to think of them.

Dick? Well. He's hard at work of course. He's leading the rescue operation from his vacation home in Wyoming.

Vice President Cheney, who has spent part of August at his home outside scenic Jackson, Wyo., remains there today -- although his spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, doesn't call it vacation.

"He's working from Wyoming today," McBride told me this morning. -Washington Post

Yes, there's a lot to be done in Wyoming. For instance, a cow on Mr. McLeary's farm has been emitting methane gas from its intestinal tract-- gas that contributes to global warming. Global Warming, while it doesn't exist, did cause the hurricane that inundated New Orleans. By studying the cows in Wyoming, Dick hopes to prevent future catastrophes.

Meanwhile, FEMA officials expressed surprise that 25,000 people are trapped at a convention center in downtown New Orleans. Despite news reports dating back three days, the FEMA director claimed he only found out about it last night. "Those tricky New Orleansers," he said. "What hijinx will they come up with next?" He then blamed the dead and dying for the whole mess. "That's what you get when you don't leave all your worldly possessions behind and evacuate when we tell you to." When reminded of the fact that many had no way to get out of the city even if they wanted to, the FEMA director smiled and said, "That's their fault for being poor."

These are not exact quotes, but they're pretty accurate paraphrases.

Nice to know our leaders are hard at work.

NYU is a Bunch Of Assholes

Note: Maybe not. Look at the Comments section.

With thousands of students school-less after Hurricane Katrina sunk New Orleans, colleges throughout the country are throwing their admissions policies out the window and accepting many of the displaced kids on sight.

Not NYU.

Stephanie Philis of Port Washington, New York, was supposed to be starting her senior year at Tulane but skipped her flight Sunday after hearing about Katrina.

When the extent of the damage became clear, she contacted New York University, where she had taken summer classes, but was told it had no openings -- "no exceptions" is what she was told.

Columbia University's School of Continuing Education told her to come in with her college grades, SAT scores and a statement about why she wanted to attend Columbia. She wrote it Thursday morning and was accepted on the spot, she said.

Oh no, NYU couldn't accept any of the Tulane kids. We're too elite. We're too goooood.

We just got schooled by Columbia.

What the hell NYU? Why is my friend from Tulane going to BU and not NYU? Cause BU knows you help those in need. NYU seems to have forgotten a few things about helping others. There's no excuse for it.

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Plus: Rescue Efforts, Media Tainted By Racism
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Scary Predictions

From National Geographic:

It was a broiling August afternoon in New Orleans, Louisiana, the Big Easy, the City That Care Forgot. Those who ventured outside moved as if they were swimming in tupelo honey. Those inside paid silent homage to the man who invented air-conditioning as they watched TV "storm teams" warn of a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico. Nothing surprising there: Hurricanes in August are as much a part of life in this town as hangovers on Ash Wednesday.

But the next day the storm gathered steam and drew a bead on the city. As the whirling maelstrom approached the coast, more than a million people evacuated to higher ground. Some 200,000 remained, however—the car-less, the homeless, the aged and infirm, and those die-hard New Orleanians who look for any excuse to throw a party.

The storm hit Breton Sound with the fury of a nuclear warhead, pushing a deadly storm surge into Lake Pontchartrain. The water crept to the top of the massive berm that holds back the lake and then spilled over. Nearly 80 percent of New Orleans lies below sea level—more than eight feet below in places—so the water poured in. A liquid brown wall washed over the brick ranch homes of Gentilly, over the clapboard houses of the Ninth Ward, over the white-columned porches of the Garden District, until it raced through the bars and strip joints on Bourbon Street like the pale rider of the Apocalypse. As it reached 25 feet (eight meters) over parts of the city, people climbed onto roofs to escape it.

Thousands drowned in the murky brew that was soon contaminated by sewage and industrial waste. Thousands more who survived the flood later perished from dehydration and disease as they waited to be rescued...

The scary thing? THIS WAS PUBLISHED IN OCTOBER 2004

Read the article: Louisiana Wetlands- National Geographic. Now maybe people will start to take environmental scientists a little more seriously.

Bush and the Republican Congress sure didn't:

Such high stakes compelled a host of unlikely bedfellows—scientists, environmental groups, business leaders, and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers—to forge a radical plan to protect what's left. Drafted by the Corps a year ago, the Louisiana Coastal Area (LCA) project was initially estimated to cost up to 14 billion dollars over 30 years, almost twice as much as current efforts to save the Everglades. But the Bush Administration balked at the price tag, supporting instead a plan to spend up to two billion dollars over the next ten years to fund the most promising projects. Either way, Congress must authorize the money before work can begin.

The work never began. And now New Orleans is underwater. Makes you wonder what else Bush will ignore. Like memos entitled "Bin Laden Determined To Attack U.S."

Repeat after me. This could have been prevented. This could have been prevented. This could have been prevented.

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Harrowing. Desperation at the Superdome. They've got to tear it down after this. Who will want to go back there?

Evacuating New Orleans



My prayers go out to those in New Orleans and throughout the gulf coast who are dealing with this terrible disaster.

To my friends at Tulane and elsewhere in the Gulf Coast area, I can only imagine what you're going through. Here in New York during 9/11, we were feeling a lot of what you're feeling now. The love and support of friends and family helped us through it.

The scary thing is, this could have been worse.

Crawford Country Livin

My job isn't terribly important in the grand scheme of things. I get three weeks vacation a year.

George W. Bush has the most important job in the nation. He gets... a year of vacation??????

In a time of terrorism, in a time where a war he started is killing thousands of Americans, in a time where more people in American live in poverty than any time the last decade, in a time when hurricanes are drowning scores in Louisiana and Mississippi, George Bush has spent more time on vacation than any American president in history... except his dad.

Who's been running the country while Bush hunt armadillas? We can only assume the same person that runs it when he's at the office: A Talking Parrot called Bob.

In all seriousness, there's something wrong when the nation is facing such huge problems, and the President is getting a suntan. Of course he won't meet with Cindy Sheehan. He's on vacation for chrissakes!!!! Leave him alone!!!

He was on vacation during 9/11. He was on vacation during the london bombings. He's on vacation now, during Hurricane Katrina and the ongoing war in Iraq. Somebody disconnect a vegetable from life support so we can get this guy back to Washington!

Did the country elect a President? Or a ranchhand? Would you hire this guy?

Then again, it's hard to tell where Bush does more harm. By sitting on the ranch, or sitting in the oval office? Maybe the country is better off without Bush pressing the buttons. Then again, are the people who pulled his strings the ones running the country right now? Whatever happened to that Karl Rove scandal again? Anybody?

I can't deal with all this. I'm going on vacation.

Just A Theory

A great post on the evidence behind the Theory of Evolution: Put this in your Intelligent Design and smoke it.

It always will amaze me what people are willing to ignore. Evolution is so logical, makes so much sense, yet, some people will cover their ears and hum. You CAN believe in God AND believe in evolution, people! The bible never mentions evolution, but it never mentions dinosaurs either. And we know those existed. Obviously some details were left out. Evolution may be one of those things the great bible writer thought was too boring to tell his audience. We figured it out on our own. Thank God.

It's Good To Be King

Topless Virgins Vie For African Monarch

Now if only I can become a king somehow, I'd be all set.

On an unrelated note, Do we really need to personify weather?

What's the deal with naming hurricanes? And giving them human names? Who was the first to come up with this and WHY? WHY GIVE A CUTE NAME TO A HORRIBLE DISASTER? It's like naming 9/11 "Terrorist Attack Bob".

No wonder some people don't evacuate. The storm is called "Katrina" for chrissakes. Would you be scared of something called "Katrina"? It sounds like a five-year-old with a jumprope.

(For some reason I'm totally picturing Katrina looking like the girl from "Andre"*)

If you have to name hurricanes (do you have to? what's wrong with "Big Ass Storm??") then I say name them scary names at least. "Hurricane Hitler," good. "Hurricane Elmo?" Try again.

If I die in a hurricane, I don't want the Hurricane to sound like a gay German weightlifter (Hugo) or the guy who fixes the computers in the IT department (Eugene). How about Hurricane Shredder or Hurricane Hellspawn? That'll get people to evacuate.

So lets stop naming hurricanes these wimpy human names and lets start turning this country into a virgin-loving monarchy. Only then will we live up to our full potential.

*The girl from "Andre" is in Napoleon Dynamite? I gotta see it now.