Friday, May 12, 2006

Army Recruits Autistic Teen

Of all the sick, twisted things this government has done, this is a new low. (Don't worry, I'm fairly sure they'll have a new low again tomorrow). According to The Oregonian:

"When Jared first started talking about joining the Army, I thought, 'Well, that isn't going to happen,' " said Paul Guinther, Jared's father. "I told my wife not to worry about it. They're not going to take anybody in the service who's autistic."

Brenda [Jared's mom] said she spoke to Cpl. Ronan Ansley and explained that Jared had a disability, autism, that could not be outgrown. She said Ansley told her he had been in special classes, too -- for dyslexia.

"I said, 'Wait a minute, there's a big difference between autism and your problem,' " Brenda said.
Desperate for soldiers much?

Two days after the article was published, the Army let Jared out of his service commitment. What a coincidence! They get exposed by the press... only then do they do something about it. If it weren't for the media, Jared would be on the front lines in Iraq right now.

During a recent family gathering, a relative asked Jared what he would do if an enemy was shooting at him. Jared ran to his video game console and killed a digital Xbox soldier and announced, "See! I can do it!"
With Bush's approval rating at an all-time low (some sources say he's reached the high 20s), and the war droning on, I realize its tough for military recruiters out there. But maybe hanging outside the Special Ed classes looking for fresh meat isn't exactly the way to be building the army of the future.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I Smell A Movie

Jungle People Join Civilization (NYTimes regist. req.)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

A Shi**y Situation

Just add laxatives

Who wants cookies??

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Thank Goodness For Feminism

Otherwise, we wouldn't have great stories like this:

A USC Women's Studies professor, on her personal blog, linked to pictures of herself topless.

Unfortunately, she's not really my cup o' tea. (<---WARNING! NOT safe for work, kids, etc)

Here's where it gets even more interesting. So apparently, some students were upset by this. Post-feminist feminists, or whatever you want to call them. They reported the photos to the media. If its one thing the media loves, its another excuse to use those cute black censor bars. So they ran the story.

Even better, the professor made the "scandal" the topic of discussion in her class. No word on whether, as part of the discussion, she flashed the students. But she does criticize the "tattlers." She writes:

Now we need to take responsibility for our part in this. These young people were raised by us, and we are the ones who have taught them that they should have revulsion for nudity and sexuality. We have also taught them that it's appropriate to police women's sexual behavior, that they have the privilege to interfere in female self-determination. As Americans, we have failed them, and I hope that we can continue to evolve as a culture in a direction that is more life-affirming and less fear-based. I have dedicated my life's work to this type of education, one that shows the history of and contexts for our current beliefs and actions and therefore gives us the power to change, should we so choose.
What was that? I'm sorry, I was thinking about boobies.

Frankly, as a guy, I'd love it if more women followed this professor's example. We need more strong, confident, half naked women in this world. But well... isn't she kinda of ignoring the well-documented effects of hormones in the learning process? A recent study showed that men who see a hot woman become instantly stupider. Isn't she the least bit concerned that her naked ha has might be a distraction for even the most formidable of male minds in her class? Hell, I'm writing this now and I have difficulty getting that image out of my head. I feel the.. um... smart thing... draining...I... weak... must..continue... type... w%#azew67wst... BOOBS!

After a long rest, I've managed to come back and finish this entry. My point is, women shouldn't be ashamed of their bodies. But women in a position of authority and responsibility should be aware that they are held to higher standards of decorum. And its not because we're a Puritan country or because the evangelicals have brainwashed Congress. It's because it gets hard... to take a naked chick seriously. Now, sure. You can take your girlfriend seriously, your wife, no matter how many times you've seen them naked. But do you think you could take your boss as seriously?

I respect freedom of speech. But if you've chosen to be responsible for teaching the horniest demographic of people alive, putting naked pictures of yourself up on a website your students visit is probably not the wisest choice.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go finish my application to the USC Women's Studies program.

Monday, May 08, 2006

When 14-Year-Olds Attack

So Saturday I went to the The Bamboozle with my roommate, a high-powered music executive, who got the tickets for free. The headliners were Fall Out Boy and All American Rejects, not exactly my favorite groups. But hey, a free concert? I'm not gonna pass that up.

I've never been surrounded by so many 14-year-olds with pierced nipples and tattoos in my entire life.

Am I getting too old to go to concerts? At times, I felt like maybe so. A bunch of kids were throwing gatorade and water bottles into the crowd, hitting people in the head. I found myself holding back from saying "hey kids, knock it off."

The thing is, I used to be one of those kids. Moshing in the pits and coming home with bruises. I never pierced my nipples or got a tattoo, but I did once own a chain wallet and baggy shorts.

On Saturday, I wasn't moshing. I was pissed off because I stepped in mustard and got it on my shoe. And I felt like saying, "Hey, you with the hot dog. THERES A TRASH CAN RIGHT THERE!!!"

Instead I drowned myself in $6.75 beers. A few of which I got for free by helping some of the other older kids skirt the one beer at a time limit.

I got to see Minus The Bear, which I'm sort of familiar with, and Liam and Me, who are apparently being pursued by several major labels and may be THE NEXT BIG THING. I also caught a bit of the Relient K act (those christians can rock) and, as I was leaving, heard the All American Rejects. As luck would have it, I was almost to the racetrak when they started playing. Why luck? Well, lets just say you do not want to be in the center of the sonic boom unleashed by a thousand simultaneously screaming 14-year-old girls. Unless, you're R. Kelly. When the Rejects came on stage, the screams were so loud my upstairs neighbors in Stuyvesant Town called in a noise complaint. I think the seagulls that hang out in the Giants Stadium parking lot won't be coming back for a while.

Anyway, here's some choice pictures from the show/Meadowlands.

Minus The Bear:
Minus the Bear

Beach Balls In Flight:
Beach Balls

Liam and Me:
Liam and Me

Stampede Of The 14-Year-Olds:

Such A Pretty Toxic Swamp:
Toxic Swamp
General Eavesdrop Appointed To CIA

I think the chairman of the House Committee made a pretty strong statement about the concerns of the agency and whether or not they're about to be, quite frankly, just gobbled up by the Defense Department

Does Bush ever think... maybe I'll appoint someone well-qualified and reasonable?

PLUS: Bush makes a joke... Or was he being serious?

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