Thursday, September 04, 2008

Vote For McCain (if you want to be poor)

The New York Times has an article today comparing Americans' average income growth under Democratic leadership vs. Republican leadership. While I'm sure my friend Robbie Republican would argue that the Times is full of communists and can't be trusted, the numbers don't lie:

Rich & Poor Get Richer Under Democrats

Coincidence? I think not.
Just In Case Your Were Fooled By Tina Fey... I Mean Sarah Palin

America's Hottest Governor
Sharing A Cover With Halibut

Sarah Palin gave a pretty riveting speech last night. I have to say, her speechwriters can sure turn a phrase. "In politics, there are some candidates who use change to promote their careers, and then there are those, like John McCain, who use their careers to promote change."

Ooh! You get him Sarah!

Palin spoke a lot about family, seeking to counter perceived attacks against her brood. But as CNN contributor and Democrat Hillary Rosen points out, all of Sarah's talk about family doesn't change the fact that Republican policies are vehemently ANTI-family:
I don't care about how Sarah Palin or John McCain take care of their families. I care about how their policy choices affect my family and millions of other Americans.

McCain and Palin get their health insurance paid for by the government (hers in Alaska and his in Washington). Yet they oppose giving the nearly 46 million uninsured Americans the same access to affordable health care.

John McCain's kids don't have to worry about paying for college. Yet he has opposed every single education support program to help others.

McCain and Palin say they will stand up to oil companies. Yet the only energy policy they support gives millions of dollars in tax breaks to oil companies to do more drilling and he has opposed every piece of federal legislation to explore alternative fuel sources.

McCain and Palin say they will revamp how Washington does business. Yet his campaign is filled with lobbyists and she has cooperated with Sen. Ted Stevens in funneling federal money for useless projects in Alaska for years. And McCain and Palin have no solutions for Americans worrying about their jobs in a fragile economy.

McCain and Palin want us to leave their families alone. Yet they want to make rules for our families by eliminating our right to make our own choices over abortion, eliminate our access to family planning education or domestic partner benefits, and our freedom from discrimination.

They want to control what our kids learn in school about sex and about science. In short, through the policies they promote and the judges they support, they want the government to have more control over our private lives than at any time in history.

McCain and Palin now say their campaign is about change, too. Yet the only real change they have proposed is a change from a suit to a skirt in the vice president's office and one man fighting a misplaced war for another in the Oval Office.
Well put. While the Republicans claim they want "less government," what they actually want to do is make the government MORE INVOLVED in the private lives of American citizens. Your every decision will be subject to a moral standard set by the Republican party. If you're cool with John McCain coming into your hospital room and telling you what to do, then vote for him.

Republicans define "big government" as a government that spends a lot of money. Um... have they been paying attention the last 8 years? The government is BIGGER THAN EVER. The deficit is climbing astronomically. The last time the Democrats were in charge, we had a balanced budget... and oh yeah, the economy was super. It didn't seem like the Democrats formed a goliath government back then.

Sometimes it seems as if the Republicans live in an alternate universe. One where the economy doesn't suck, where the war in Iraq is already won, and where America is safer, stronger, and smarter than ever. Of course, we who actually live in the real world know that none of those things are the case. The Republicans have had not 4, but 8 years to improve this country's standing in the world. Instead, they've pretty much trashed everything.

Don't let McCain, or Palin, or anyone else convince you that shit smells like roses.

Palin's right about one thing. Words are just words. Actions speak louder.

Unfortunately, the actions carried out by 8 years of Bush have left us all begging for earplugs.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Eureka! The World's Greatest Invention!!!!!

Just kidding. This thing is creepy weird.

Let's just say "Ear Spoon" is not a term marketers should use.
Palin On The Dirt

Robbie Republican

By Robbie Republican

Good afternoon, my fellow patriots. Hope you had a fine Labor Day weekend, although, as I've stated before, it's a Communist holiday designed to disrupt American industry. But I digress. If you're a Republican like me, you already know about the shameful exploitation of innocent megacorporations by evil labor unions. I'm here to talk about a different subject, one of my favorites: Family. Specifically, how John McCain's VP choice, Sarah Palin, is the greatest mother in the world, and how she should, in November, become mother to all Americans.

I admit, at first I was stunned by McCain's pick. A woman? In the second-highest office in the land? I accepted it grudgingly, only because I knew it would really piss off Hillary Clinton.

But now I see. The Demoncrats-- no, that's not a typo-- are all up in arms about Sarah's seventeen year old daughter, who has apparently become pregnant out of wedlock. Those backward-thinking, stodgy old liberals seem to believe that teenage pregnancy is a bad thing. They think that Bristol getting pregnant means that Sarah was a bad parent. I have to say, I'm surprised at their attack. This is, after all, the political party that believes two men should be allowed to raise a kid (which Steve Guttenberg, in his documentary "Three Men and A Baby," proved was impossible).

Some people might think that when your teenage daughter is about to have a baby out of wedlock, it's selfish to run for Vice President and expose your family to media scrutiny. But I take a different view. Sarah wants people to see her daughter-- as a shining example. Sarah clearly believes, like I do, that women should give up their dreams, become full with child and become homemakers. You think the Chinese have a billion people because they encouraged their women to wait until after college to have babies? I don't think so.

If only more of our kids got pregnant at a young age. The younger the better. Because how else will we keep up with the Chinese? Or those Africans for that matter. Up with the birthrate, up with American power, I say.

Sarah could have declined the nomination and kept Bristol's life private... but she chose to share it with the world. You've got to admire a parent who would use their kid to further the pro-life agenda. Demo-rats (not a typo) say Sarah neglected her motherly duties. I say... good. Don't we want someone more devoted to her country than to her own children? I don't want a VP watching her kid's basketball game while Russia's fueling their warheads.

Some people seem to think McCain didn't know about this. But what they don't realize is that Bristol's pregnancy was all part of a carefully orchestrated plan crafted by the McCain campaign. What better way to show the social conservatives that you share their values? Values that state sex before marriage is sinful, sure. But if it does happen, as long as a baby is born, its all good. It's in the Bible, people, look it up.

Sure, when the movie Juno came out, I called it, "a sick celebration of teenage sexuality and teenage pregnancy. Yet another instance where Hollywood promotes hedonistic lifestyles that glorify immorality and sex." I, like Sarah, said that an abstinence-based education was the best way to keep our kids from having sex. And that if teens were getting pregnant, it was because of subliminal messages in Sheryl Crow songs.

But this is totally different. Teen pregnancy is a positive, beautiful thing, that in no way reflects on the parents. And if you can't see that, then you must be a Democrat. It's not worth explaining it to you.

It's a known fact that kids are involved in less crime and drugs when they're involved in an extracurricular activity. And what's more extracurricular than taking care of a child with a meathead who's written on his MySpace profile that he doesn't want kids? Something tells me Bristol won't have time to hit up the keggers at University of Juneau.

Bristol Palin
When Mom's Away At The Gun Range...

Barack Saddam Hussein Osama Obama predictably exploited the situation, saying "Let me be as clear as possible. I think people's families are off-limits, and people's children are especially off-limits." Typical Osama-speak. I wasn't there to hear the rest of his statement, but I'm pretty sure he said something about needing the blood of Bristol's child to perform satanic rituals. Clearly, Hussein believes that families should be dragged through the mud and tortured by the press. I'm not surprised. What else can we expect from a guy who's from Hawaii? That's not even a real state.

Thank God for Sarah Palin of Alaska. A woman who's not afraid to put her ambitions above her family. A woman who bravely trots out her child with Down Syndrome to prove what a saint she is, and but righteously gets upset when the media starts noticing her other children. A woman who has the experience, knowledge, and most importantly, glasses to help lead this country into the future. A future, which, as a Republican, I hope will closely resemble 1952.

As always my faithful, stay safe, stay strong, stay straight.

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