Monday, September 27, 2004

Welcome to The Oldest Blog On The Net!

Yeah, that's right. You read correctly. This was the first blog ever.

Well, maybe not the first, but I started this way back in early 2001, when everybody thought a blog was some sort of bowel movement.

Of course, I didn't know what a blog was either. I just kinda signed up and wrote some entries, which, as I realize now, reveal things that could ultimately ruin my chances for the Presidency, much like the Bush National Guard memos.

So those were all jokes. Really. My freshman year was all puppy dogs and ice cream.

What have I been doing lately? Well. I'm a graduate. Cum Laude. Which I'm pretty sure was a porno term until the Romans adopted it to mean "With Honors." I'm living in New York, working at a national magazine, and coaching the Cleveland Browns.

I guess this blog, even though it's the oldest, is pretty useless. As far as I know, Chris Matthews hasn't quoted me, and the Drudge report isn't picking up any leads from my page. In fact, I'm pretty sure that during this election year, my blog is about the least likely to influence any political decision, be it voting or deciding between ordering chinese or diner. And I'd like to keep it that way, because honestly, does anybody care what I have to say?

Please say yes.

Anyways, the above is what happens when you're too tired from work to write anything worth sending out to magazines or literary journals but you're too bored to IM and check the celebrity message board for new nude pics of Charlize Theron.

Till the next time, you stay classy USA.

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