Friday, February 11, 2005

I Swear I Didn't Make This Up

HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman indicted last month for allegedly giving her husband a lethal sherry enema said he was an enema addict who did it to himself, a newspaper reported Thursday.

Tammy Jean Warner said late husband Michael Warner had an alcohol problem and enjoyed giving himself wine or sherry enemas because his body would absorb the spirits more quickly that way.

"That's the way he went out and I'm sure that's the way he wanted to go out because he loved his enemas," she told the Houston Chronicle.

Michael Warner, 58, died on May 21 and was found to have a blood alcohol level of 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered too drunk to drive in Texas.

Mrs. Warner, 42, is accused of giving her husband a sherry enema even though she knew alcohol was bad for this health and faces a charge of criminally negligent homicide.

"There's no way I could have gave my husband that enema, no way," she said.

Police in Lake Jackson, Texas, 40 miles south of Houston, said there was evidence that Mr. Warner had received two large bottles of sherry.

"It all started back when he was a child," Mrs. Warner explained. "His mother used to give him enemas all the time, and he started to depend on them."

"He did coffee enemas, he did Castile soap, Ivory soap," she said. "He had enema recipes."

Mrs. Warner, a former bartender who got married to Warner in October 2002, is also charged with destroying his will, but she denied the charge, the Chronicle said.

Currently free on $30,000 bail, she is scheduled to go to trial in July. If convicted, she faces up to two years in prison and a $10,000 fine on each charge.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Axis of Evil

Has Bush's rhetoric and harsh dealings with other nations led us to the brink of nuclear holocaust?

I don't know. You decide.

North Korea has the bomb.

Yeah, that's right. They just announced it today. Anyone who actually read the news knew this was going to happen. Everyone, it seems, except President Bush.

The funny thing is, Bush directly caused this to happen.

When he included North Korea in his famous "Axis of Evil," he also cut off U.S. aid that had been going to the impoverished nation. He also incited the paranoia (perhaps justafiable) in ol' Kim Jonggy that the U.S. would soon attack.

When you push, sometimes they push back.

And although Bush claims North Korea had restarted its weapons program before the U.S. cut off aid and branded them evil, can we really trust any of the intelligence Bush used during his run up to the "War on Iraq... I mean Terror?"

The truth is, while we were searching for imaginary weapons in Iraq, North Korea was very loudly building an arsenal. This was the worst kept secret since Rachael-Ross getting back together at the end of Friends. C'mon, we just knew it was gonna happen.

North Korea was begging to be stopped. They had a simple condition. Lift the sanctions we imposed on them for having a non-existent nuclear program, and they'd go back to having a non-existent nuclear program.

Instead, we invited them to six-party talks. Which sounds fun, but while Russia can kick back the vodka, the entertainment is usually pretty lame.

North Korea wanted to talk one-on-one, but there was little chance of that happening. Bush wouldn't even speak to our own 9/11 commision alone.

And now they have the bomb.

What I realized from all this is that Bush never actually thought Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Cause the ones that do, he would never engage. He's not going to go to war in Korea, he's not going to attack Pakistan, despite the fact that Bin Laden has many supporters there.

He may go after Iran, which hasn't been proven to have nuclear weapons.

It seems like all part of his plan. Attack countries with no weapons to scare the one's who have weapons into making more.

Seems reasonable... oh heck, i'm going down to my bomb shelter.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

What Bigotry Looks Like

Richard H. Black, Republican

Del. Richard H. Black

"Within our public schools, there is a tendency to encourage homosexual activity, to portray it in a cute or favorable light," Black said in an interview yesterday. "This is a considerable health hazard right now. If we encourage just one child to experiment and contract the HIV virus, then we have done an enormous disservice to our children."

Because, of course, all homosexuals have AIDS. And if a straight kid sees a play saying homosexuals shouldn't be tied to a fence, beaten, and left to die, he'll instantly want to get it up the bum. And our schools no longer teach math, science, history and English-- they teach how to use KY Jelly!!!!

Black was responding to a school play he saw, written by a student at a Virginia school. The play depicts a high school football player coming to grips with his homosexuality and seeking acceptance from his peers.

Black claimed that the play featured a guy-guy kiss. It didn't. Maybe that was just wishful thinking on Black's part.

The actor playing the lead said the message of the play was, "People are who they are. Accept them. That's it."

Those damn Liberal hippie tree hugging queers and their message of tolerance!!!

How dare they!!

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