Thursday, February 04, 2010

Top Five Lost Plot Threads On Lost

Season 6 started off with a bang, or rather, turbulence, and I can't wait to see what happens. But when I noticed Shannon not of the plane, it got me thinking. No, not about what actress Maggie Grace is doing that's so much better than Lost (cause there really is nothing), but about plot lines that haven't been brought up in a real long while, that better play a part in the series end game or I'll start to question whether the writers ever had any game plan. Here's 5 things that I hope the writers haven't forgotten about.

1) Quarantine/Vaccine/The Sickness


In Season Two, we were introduced to mysterious vials of medicine, which Desmond injected himself with every day and which was administered to Claire and her baby, Aaron. We also learned from the French lady that her team became "sick," and we saw them shoot each other. Later, we saw the Dharma recruits getting "inoculated" when they arrived on the island.

This does not seem like a MacGuffin. Instead, I'd argue, it foreshadows a disaster that will have a huge hand to play in the endgame of Lost. Let's say that humanity is headed for disaster. This was my theory way way back in Season 3. The Dharma Initiative knows the end of the world is coming, so do the Others, and so do Jacob and the Man In Black/Smokey. The difference is, while Jacob, Dharma and the Others want to stop the end of the world, it's clear that MIB/Smokey could care less about humanity:
"They come. They fight. They destroy. They corrupt. It always ends the same." - MIB, Season 5 finale.

"When John first came to the island he was a very sad man, a victim, shouting at the world for being told what he couldn't do even though they were right. He was weak and pathetic and irreparably broken. But despite all that, there was something admirable about him. He was the only one of them who didn’t want to leave. The only one who realized how pitiful the life he left behind actually was." -FakeLocke/MIB/Smokey Season 6 premiere.
To me, it seems clear Smokey is ready to be done with this whole humanity business. To him, the end of the world is long past due. An end of the world I believe will have something to do with a disease. An evil disease that drives people crazy and destroys everything. In the original timeline, Aaron the baby carried the cure, the chance at mankind's salvation. Perhaps he still does in the new altered timeline. But if Claire gives him up to the wrong people, well, so much for humanity.

Does this make sense? Probably not. But all these references to disease have to add up to something. And since we haven't seen anyone on the island fall victim to it, I'm left to assume that the disease can only be virulent outside the island, in the real world.

Of course, I could be totally wrong about this.

2) The Button


Some people believe this question's been answered already. But if the Swan really did just exist to release a pocket of energy, then why couldn't it be automated? There's only one explanation. It was too important to be automated. The release of energy really would end the world. But then why not simply turn the failsafe like, years ago? After all, since Desmond turned that key, the island hasn't exactly exploded.

But what if the button was forestalling the inevitable? What if the failsafe didn't end the danger, but was merely one last attempt to stall the end from coming? Perhaps all the failsafe did was buy more time. More time for... Aaron the wonder baby to redeem humanity?

I've really lost my mind on this one. But Lost has to answer the question: Why did a human being have to press the button? Why couldn't the failsafe have been activated years ago?"

3. Polar Bear?

Polar Bear

Dear Lost writers. Don't think you can get away with "Oh, the Dharma people just brought polar bears to the island for research." That doesn't fly. Cause, well, other animals are obviously better suited for scientific research. We've seen them on the show: lab rats, bunnies. Polar bears? No scientist I know of would think bringing Polar Bears to a tropical island would provide sound research. And that polar bear in the Tunisian desert wearing the Dharma insignia collar? Are we really supposed to assume that Dharma hooked a polar bear to the frozen back-in-time wheel, just for kicks? No other animal made sense? They were just like, polar bears are best suited for time travel? That just does not make sense.

Explain the damn polar bears. And your explanation better not be, too much weed before the Lost writing session.


We were told time and time again that the kid was special. But... how? And why? We've seen Walt appear in odd places, we know he has dreams about the future. But we don't know why, and we certainly don't know what his purpose is. There were multiple episodes where Michael, Walt's dad, just screamed "WAAALLLT" at the top of his lungs. Almost an entire season centered around his rescue from the Others. Why'd we go through all that if he has absolutely nothing to do with how this all plays out???

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say Walt is important the same way Aaron is. These kids may be the key to the future if Smokey/The disease gets off the island or if humanity is in peril. But there's also the very real danger that the writers have forgotten about him: DESPITE HIM BEING IN EVERY SEASON FINALE EXCEPT SEASON 5.

5. Henry Friggin' Gale

Henry's Balloon

When the Losties first encountered that weasel Ben Linus, he pretended to be a man named Henry Gale, who arrived by hot air balloon. If we never learn the true story behind Henry Gale, I think I can live with it. But it does seem cheap that they would introduced a hot air balloon and never even reference it again.


The Losties finally find their way off the island... again. They pack into Henry Gale's balloon, patched up and still functional after all these years. The balloon begins to take off. But then Vincent the dog emerges from the woods. "Vincent!" Kate yells. She jumps down from the balloon to grab the dog, followed by Jack, but it's too late to stop the balloon from ascending. Kate and Jack watch in horror as the balloon drifts away.

"Now we'll never get home," Kate says.

"Nonsense," Christian Shepherd replies, emerging from the woods.

"Dad!?" Jack says, perplexed.

"You've had the power to go home all along," Christian says. "Just click your heels together and say, 'There's no place like home.'"

"Wait, this is a total rip-off of something," Jack replies.

"Just go with it," Christian says.

Jack and Kate wake up in bed together. "I've just had the strangest dream," they say, at exactly the same time. They laugh and kiss passionately.

Jack and Kate Kiss

Then, the camera pans over to the doorway, where a polar bear stands, wearing a Dharma collar, smiling menacingly before dissolving into black smoke.

Cut to Black. Lost!

Sorry, should have put a spoiler warning before all that.

Anyways, those are the mysteries I hope the writers haven't totally forgotten about. Let's see what they do with them.

[UPDATE] Oh, also, Geronimo Jackson.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

A Developing Theory Of Lost

Where The F@#$ Was Shannon???

I've had previous theories of Lost, and I still think at least parts continue to hold up after tonight's crazy "sideback" (as opposed to "flashback" or "flash-forward") episode of Lost.

A few quick thoughts, cause my brain is still frantically trying to find room for all this insanity:

Clearly there are two dogs in this fight, Jacob, who's dead now, and Smokey The Smoke Monster, which can appear as a smoke monster, a guy in a black shirt, John Locke, and anything else it wants to.

Smokey, in John Locke form, states his objective in this episode: To get off the island.

So Jacob has been confining Smokey to the island. Now, with him out of the way, Smokey is presumably free to travel.

The Others are Jacob's army, but at the moment, Smokey doesn't seem too afraid. Maybe because, oh, I don't know, he can turn into a column of smoke that kills everyone.

Which raises the question. What happens if Smokey gets off the island? While a smoke monster might provide an interesting new cast member on Jersey Shore, most likely, Smokey would love nothing more than to wipe out us "pathetic" humans. We're talking the end of the world. We're talking like Eloise Hawking did in that episode "Flashes Before Your Eyes."

From Wikipedia:
When Eloise [posing as a jewlery store clerk] showed him a ring and Desmond told her he would take it, she seemed upset and responded by telling him he would not. After Desmond refused to give the ring back she explained to Desmond that she knows his name, he will break Penny's heart, he will not marry Penny, instead entering the sailing race to prove Penny's father wrong, and he will go to the Island and press the button for three years until forced to turn the failsafe key. She said that if he "doesn't do those things," that "every single one of us is dead
Tonight, we saw Desmond on Oceanic Flight 815. Which means that he was never on Lost island. Which means that he never pushed the button. Which means very very bad things are coming for the world... his alternate timeline where Flight 815 lands in LAX.

A timeline, in which, I'm pretty sure, Smokey will escape.

Maybe. Hmm.

What was with the island being underwater?

Anyways, things have clearly changed, in a big way. Light has literally turned to dark. And unless the Losties figure out how to put Smokey back in his ring of ash, both lives-- the ones that landed in LAX, and the ones that flashed to the island, are all going to die.

Anyways, I gotta sleep on this. Wild start to the end.

P.S. As I predicted, Cindy came back-- along with Zach and Emma... who just seem creeeeeepy. So did Captain Norris, even if it was just his voice. 3 Down, 8 to go.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Yankees Employee Screws Up

Yankee Boo Boo

A Yankees employee accidently clicked "CC" instead of "BCC" in a promotional email she sent to nearly 1,000 people. As a result, she revealed nearly 1000 email addresses to total strangers, some of whom, within minutes, were spamming the others on the list with offers for posters and ticket trades.

A quick rundown of the email addresses reveals people working at financial institutions, media companies, military installations and other places that would definitely not appreciate their work emails being broadcast to potentially unsavory characters.

A follow up email simply was an attempt to recall the message... I think we know how that worked out.

I'll accept an apology in the form of Legends Seats tickets.
Top Ten "Lost" Characters From Lost

The best show in the history of television, Lost, returns Tuesday night, with a new episode at 9:00 Eastern time. However, even the best of shows can seem to forget about some characters which once seemed as if they could be important. Lost, with its ensemble cast and multiple flashbacks, is full of people that made a quick impression upon Lost fans, but seemingly have fallen by the wayside as the series regulars have shuffled through time and space. Here are my ten lost Lost characters I've been wondering about, and my guess as to the chance we'll ever see them again:

10. Achara

Bai Ling

Who dat?
Played by model/actress Bai Ling, Achara had sex with Jack a lot when he was abroad in Thailand and branded him with a tattoo. A tattoo which got Jack beat up and inspired that weird Others-sheriff-lady-that-looks-sort-of-like-Ms.-Hawking to comment, "He walks among us, but is not one of us."

Why Should I Care?
What's the point of the whole Jack tattoo episode? Does his tattoo and his experience in Thailand have anything to do with the larger mythology of Lost, or even Jack's redemptive arc? I want to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again:
Close to Ziltch. Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have been quoted as saying the Jack's tattoo episode is their least favorite, and was made simply to force the ABC execs to greenlight an end date for the series. Still, I'm holding out hope the writers figure out some way to creatively reconcile this loose thread.

9. Captain Seth Norris

Greg Grunberg

Who Dat? The guy who piloted the Losties on their ill fated first flight to the island of odd happenings. Unceremoniously torn apart by Smokey, the lovable death monster.

Why Should I Care?
Greg Grunberg, the actor, deserves better than his role on Heroes, which has basically been reduced to squinting really hard and the camera shaking a lot. In a deleted scene of Lost, Captain Seth Norris calms a nervous Claire, sharing some personal history and appearing like a nice guy. What did Smokey have on him that made him death-worthy?

Chances We'll See Him Again:
Good. If the survivors succeeded in rewriting history, then the plane doesn't crash, and Captain Norris is no longer smokey food. Only thing holding him back is his er... work with Heroes.

8. Kevin Callis

Nathan Fillion

Who Dat? Kate's husband, of less than six months, a cop who thinks her name is Monica and is drugged by Kate when she decides to run away.

Why Should I Care?
Kevin is played by Nathan Fillion, the totally awesome Captain Mal in Firefly and Serenity, and Captain Hammer in Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. He also seems to genuinely care for Kate. He was her best chance for happiness with a guy before the messy love quadrangle of Sawyer, Jack and Juliet. His exit feels a bit unresolved. Wouldn't you seek out your (ex)wife if she did this to you?

Chances We'll See Him Again: Slim, however, Fillion is a favorite of series creator J.J. Abrams, so maybe.

7. Starla

Marguerite Moreau

Who Dat? Hurley's love interest. Poor Hugo tells us that she ran off with his best friend, one of many events he attributes to the evil numbers.

Why Should I Care? Cause the big man deserves some love. It seems cold that Hurley's best friend and his crush should run away together, just because of some cursed island numbers. Hurley deserves happiness, and this hottie gave it to him, however briefly.

Chances We'll See Her Again: Low. According to a lot of different sources, Libby will be back this season, which could provide love for Hurley. No room for Starla?

6. Helen

Peg Bundy

Who Dat? The love of Locke's life. Probably his one greatest regret was betraying her trust and losing her.

Why Should I Care? Because its just so damn sad. We saw Helen again... a tombstone. Locke never got a second chance with her. Never even got a chance to apologize. Locke's relationship with Helen was really the one happy thing in a miserable existence off the island. In a show that's shown time and time again how people can find redemption for past mistakes, Locke seems to have no way to overcome this loss.

Chances Of Seeing Her Again:
Medium. If all went to plan, and the plane never crashed, then Locke still has time to be with Helen before she dies (of a brain aneurysm). The question is, will the writers give Locke some semblance of happiness? Or will the evil possessed Locke be the focus of the show's final season?

5. Cindy Chandler

Stewardess... I Mean Flight Attendant

Who Dat? Cindy's the flight attendant who hooks Jack up with extra vodka. She also survives the tail splashdown with Ana Lucia and Co. She also disappears in the woods and reappears with the Others, giddily excited to see Juliet branded with a weird symbol.

Why Should I Care?
WTF? Was she one of the others all along? What's the deal with her mystery disappearance? Why's she so chummy with the Others all of the sudden? Does she get offended if you call her a stewardess? I want to know, I need to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again: 100% Call it a hunch [SPOILERS].

4. Zach & Emma

Zach and Emma
Who Dat? The adorable little tykes who survived the tail section crash, later seen enjoying life with the Others, even though it really doesn't seem like much fun. I mean, I didn't see a Wii, did you?

Why Should I Care? Because they're the only kids who survived the plane crash, and they were on "Jacob's List." Because weren't they traveling home to their mother, who is presumably distraught over them? Because it's way creepy to think of the Others' obsession with children. What's the story?

Chances We'll See Them Again: I'd say good. You can't just completely ignore the fact that children survived the crash, were taken away, and then were never heard from again. Presumably, they're in the temple with the Others, and have either gone through Walt-like growth spurts since we last saw them or have changed their appearance due to different child actors portraying them.

3. Beatrice Klugh


Who dat?
Creepy lady who held Walt captive and spoke Russian with Mikhail, the one-eyed guy, right before she asked him to shoot her.

Why Should I Care?
Hello? Her name is Klugh. Like, as in, CLUE. She's got to mean something. We were led to believe she was a leader of some sort in the Others. Why'd she choose to sacrifice herself? Did she? Is she actually still alive, like Mikhail appeared to be, time and time again? What did she mean when she told Michael that Walt was special?

Chances We'll See Her Again:
Medium. I can't believe they would introduce a character like this only to kill her off with no explanation. That sounds more like another show, ahem Heroes.

2. Libby


Who dat?
Talk about a pivotal character. She not only gives Desmond the boat which he uses to sail to the island, she becomes Hurley's love interest and driving force behind his heroism.

Why Should I Care?
Because it turned out she was in the damn MENTAL INSTITUTION! WITH HURLEY!!!! LOOKIN ALL CRAAAAZY! And for the love of all things holy, you can't just leave that unexplained.

Chances We'll See Her Again:
100%. The media has reported it, and frankly, anything less than 100% odds that Libby would be coming back would deeply disturb me. You just gotta explain that mental institution shocker.

1. Annie


Who dat?
The little island girl who gives Ben the first birthday present he's ever received without the words "that's for killing your mother" attached to it. Ben keeps the doll to this day, a reminder that he was a child once, in love with a girl.

Why Should I Care?
WHAT HAPPENS TO ANNIE!?! We never see it in flashbacks. Does she die in the purge? Does she join the Others? Is she... Kate? (Not sure how that's possible, but it's a theory people have). The people demand to know.

Chances We'll See Her Again:
Medium. I want to say 100%. Cause its a loose thread that dangles a bit too loose. What's the point in featuring her in an episode if we never find out what happens? Ben lingered on that doll a bit too long for us to ignore it. But... well... we saw young Ben last season, and at no time was he in the company of Annie. So whats the deal? Did the writers just forget? That's not really allowed.

I can't wait till tomorrow. I'm spinning the donkey wheel to see if I can end up on Feb. 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 PM. Wish me luck.

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