Man In Rainbow Tie Comes Out Against Gays



Presidential candidate Senator Sam Bareback... I mean Brownback, announced today that he is backing a top general's comment that homosexual acts are immoral.

"I do not believe being a homosexual is immoral, but I do believe homosexual acts are. I'm a Catholic and the church has clear teachings on this," Brownback said.

So... being a homosexual isn't immoral, but homosexual acts are? That's... clear? In that case, isn't wearing a rainbow colored tie, as Brownback did when he announced his Presidential bid, considered immoral? After all, isn't wearing rainbow colored stuff a "homosexual act?"

"General Pace's recent remarks do not deserve the criticism they have received," Brownback's letter said. "In fact, we applaud General Pace for maintaining a personal commitment to moral principles."

Sure. In a time of war, when we could use the services of every soldier we've got, the nation's top general, without provocation, basically calls some of our soldiers immoral hell spawn who are no better than women who cheat on their husbands. Yeah, that's something that deserves applauding.

The Bush Administration is already working on a new slogan, "Support Our Troops... Except The Gay Ones."

Soldiers dying in Iraq. Afghanistan falling slowly back to Taliban control. Katrina victims still without homes. New Orleans still in ruin. A nuclear threat in Iran. A growing gap between rich and poor. Rampant corporate corruption. Government cronyism.

To Brownback, we must take care of the most important problem first. Those damn gays!!!

Screw the rest! Leave that for the next President to clean up!!

If someone's willing to go through military training, go off to Iraq or Afghanistan and face terrorist bombs and gunfire, I don't care if he's gay, straight, or likes to have tea parties with farm animals. He's a soldier in my book, and doesn't deserve to be denigrated by some general who last faced danger when he choked on a piece of filet mignon at a fancy state dinner.

While it may be easy to argue that an openly gay service member may upset other soldiers and cause disciplinary issues, to say that the military should dismiss anyone deemed "immoral" by the religious right is an argument that has little rational thinking behind it. If a prerequisite for joining the army was to have never committed a "sin" as defined by the bible, there'd be no person in the world fit to serve.

General Pace is free to voice his opinion. But to do it in his capacity as leader of our armed forces was irresponsible and inappropriate. When you're on the job, do you yell and scream that all the gay people should be fired?? Even if that's what you believe? No (hopefully). General Pace shouldn't have either. Especially when those gay people are risking their lives for him and every other American.

But Brownback is even worse. While Pace may have made a slip up, Brownback is actually planning his bigotry out. He's passing his letter around, gathering signatures like the unpopular girl on yearbook day. He's hoping to solidify his place in the hearts of homo-hating voters.

However, the rainbow colored tie makes me pause. It seems an odd choice for someone to wear when they make the most important announcement of their life. Unless... Brownback was trying to send out a secret message. Which I'll leave to you to decipher.

Let's just say I'll be real surprised if Brownback doesn't have a few things stuffed in his closet.

Break Out Of Your Cell

My Cell's Name Is Desmond

Sorry inmates, this blog entry won't help you escape and put a shiv in the warden. But it will give you some informative, useful cell phone knowledge.

Five Fun Cell Phone Games That Won't Add To Your Cell Phone Bill

1. Play "Spin The Cell Phone"



"Spin the Bottle" is so twentieth century. Sit in a circle, girls across from boys. Turn the shiny, rounded side of your cell phone face down, and give it a spin. Make out with the member of the opposite sex the phone points to. Yes, even if he or she is ugly. This works better if you're all drunk.

2. Cell Phone Toss



Like a game of horseshoes. Go to a field, jam a stick in the ground. Competitors stand far enough away to make it a challenge. Then, each person tosses their cell phone, trying to get it closest to the stick. Winner gets to add all other competitors' girlfriends to his "fave five."

3. Cell Phone Hockey



Use a flat table. Players stand at the ends. A ping pong ball or small rubber boucy ball may be used. Each player uses their cell phone as a hockey stick, trying to knock the ball off the other end. Players cannot cross the halfway point on the table with their phone. This works even better with an old nok-hockey table or air hockey table. Loser must select Ace Of Base's "I Saw The Sign" or similar embarassing song as his/her ringtone for one week.

4. Cell Phone Hot Potato/Musical Chairs



This one works best if your cell phone plays long ringtones or MP3s. Press play on a ringtone or MP3. For Hot Potato, pass the phone around. If the music stops while in your posession, you're out, and must send a flirty text message to the annoying girl/guy who won't leave you alone. For Musical Chairs, when the music stops, everyone must sit in a chair. If you're not in a chair, you're out, and your girlfriend/boyfriend dumps you for the winner.

5. Cell Phone Battle Royale



Use a flat table with a smooth surface. At the same time, two (or more) players slide their phones at each other's phone. If you knock or stop your opponent's phone onto their side of the table, you get a point. If you knock their phone off the table, you get two points. If you miss their phone completely, you lose a point. Game ends after 10 rounds or when someone's phone breaks into little tiny unfixable pieces. Loser must refer to the winner as "Your Royal Highness" for one day.

Try these games and before long, you'll be forgetting what a cell phone is even for! Feel free to offer your own suggestions by leaving a comment below.

Here's some cell phone links for your enjoyment and enlightenment:

Cool Cell Phone Tricks

Cell Phone Salespeople Sell Out Cell Secrets

A Google Cell Phone?? Pretty.

Save Your Soaked Celly

And some older, brilliantly written articles:

Camera Phones: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Fly The Cell-Free Skies... While You Still Can