Thursday, September 15, 2005

Cool

I want one of these
Yet Another Weird Animal Story

Another Confused Dog

NBC 4 loves this stuff. So do I.

Terrier Adopts Baby Squirrel

The question is: when the squirrel grows up, will the terrier chase it??


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Plus: When Sea Lions Attack: Are The Marine Animals Out Of Control??
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Bush Can't Hold It In

I Think I May Need A Bathroom Break-- Is This Possible?

For those of you having trouble reading the picture, the note, which Bush wrote to Condasleeza Rice during the UN SECURITY COUNCIL Meeting, reads:

"I Think I May Need A Bathroom Break, Is This Possible?"

AT A UN SECURITY COUNCIL MEETING!!!!!! He's not even paying attention!!!!! For Goodness sakes, the leader of the free world is considering getting up in the middle, and heading for the exit... while a leader from another country is speaking!!!!! What the hell is wrong with this guy?!?! Jesus.

-BBC Article here-

UPDATE: He did go.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Happy Stuff My Mom Sent Me

Somehow, a mother knows what mood you're in.

My mom sent me this today.

Love you Mom, thanks for the day booster.
George Bush's America

The last five years have been a smashing success. The War on Terror has accomplished much since its inception. We've captured Bin Laden and brought him to justice. We've routed the repressive Taliban. We've made Iraq a peaceful democracy. And we've done it all while maintaining enough troops at home to help with national emergencies, and while building love and respect for America throughout the world. Glorious leader George W. Bush is fully responsible for all these wonderful things, and for the robust and rapidly growing economy, the decline in poverty, and a scienticic revolution that has cured alzheimers, parkinsons, and paralysis with cutting edge stem cell research. Yes, it's a bright and beautiful time for America at the cusp of a brave, prosperous new century.

Well, actually... Bin Laden's still at large.

And.. those Taliban? Well... they're not gone either.

Iraq?
Eh, not so good...

You mean... the government can't respond well to national emergencies? SHocker.

He's...trying to get the world on our side at least.

But...High gas prices, high health care costs, bad stock market.

Sometimes it takes a hurricane... to draw attention to the rise of poverty in this country.

Who needs stem cells anyway? We all know that science mumbo jumbo is hogwash.

So, I guess if the glowing review of the War on Terror, and Bush's last five years is all bull, then we're left with nothing from his presidency but the most catastrophic five years for America since the Civil War. The Republicans caused that mess too, if you'll remember (they were called democrats then, ironically)

I wish I could find some good to come out of the last five years from this President, but all I see is death, death and death. (And I'm a Positive Person!)Whether or not you believe he caused it, or allowed it to happen is beside the point. What should be there, in this difficult time, is HOPE. But there is no hope coming from our leaders. Only pretty words, dressing up Reality in nice clothes, preparing it for it's funeral.

Bill Maher puts it this way to Bush:

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.'
Thank God, and our forefathers, for the fact that, in three years, Bush will be gone. This alone can give us hope to carry us through the dark days.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Shitty Idea

This is what happens when you have a President who snorted cocaine and got DWI's while in college:

U.S. (Sorta) Vows To Nuke Terrorists/Nations That Harbor Terrorists/Nations We Suspect Harbor Terrorists/Nations We Don't Have Any Particular Fondness For/Nations Whose Names Start In Vowels...

We own enough nukes to blow up the world 1000 times over... and now we want to make more? Aren't there better ways to spent J. Q. Taxpayer's money?

In a time of disaster... the U.S. Congress devotes more money and resources to destroying the world.
Could It Happen Here?

"Today, four years after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks and in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, there is still no single plan to evacuate all of New York, which virtually no one believes is possible."

--The New York Times
-Read The Full Article Here-

I think the obvious is implied in the article. Any event that would necessitate the full-scale evacuation of New York City would probably be the end of the world. After all, a nuclear attack would most certainly cause a response in kind... we're talking global thermonuclear war here.

But lets say it was something more insidious, like a bio-chemical attack, or an oncoming tsunami? What could we do?

Judging by the NYC.gov/ReadyNY website provided by city emergency services... not much.

However, their brochure does provide titilating fun facts such as...

DID YOU KNOW the word "Terrorism" originated in 1795 with the Reign of Terror -- when French revolutionaries used the guillotine to consolidate their regime and intimidate potential opposition?

OR THAT The first instance of biological terrorism occurred in 6th century B.C., when Assyrians poisoned the wells of their enemies with rye ergot?
WOW! Learning is FUN!!!

But that interesting information aside, there's really no way for us to get out of this city if something bad, but not initially deadly, were to happen.

We've got to plan now for the worst case scenario. A nuclear bomb would make evacuation moot, but other types of attacks or natural disasters would necessitate it.

Why not designate a point of exit for all the city's neighborhoods? Like passengers on a plane, residents would be directed to their nearest emergency exit.

Why not have buses leaving the Port Authority, one after another, bound for jersey on the west side? And why not set up a similar bus evacuation area on the east side?

Why not use the city's ferries to remove people from midtown west and downtown?

I made this map in two minutes:
The Evacuation

Obviously, its rough. But look at the map and find your nearest route. Because if the feds don't provide buses, you're gonna need to get out on your own.

Don't worry about me. I've got my own private helicopter in a secret undisclosed location that will lift me and one companion high above the madness and away to safety. If you want on, just send a picture of yourself naked*.

*Note: Females only.

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PLUS: I Miss Him:

... I went to Florida a few days after President Bush did to observe the damage from Hurricane Andrew. I had dealt with a lot of natural disasters as governor, including floods, droughts, and tornadoes, but I had never seen anything like this. I was surprised to hear complaints from both local officials and residents about how the Federal Emergency Management Agency was handling the aftermath of the hurricane. Traditionally, the job of FEMA director was given to a political supporter of the President who wanted some plum position but who had no experience with emergencies. I made a mental note to avoid that mistake if I won. Voters don't choose a President based on how he'll handle disasters, but if they're faced with one themselves, it quickly becomes the most important issue in their lives.

— Bill Clinton, My Life (p. 428)

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