Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Oh, My God-Oh, Mr. Roboto!

Is Your Robot Cheating On You?

Are you tired of dealing with the imperfections of your significant other? Bored of sexual relations with human beings? Looking for someone who's a bit more... high maintenance?

Well, there's good news. Artificial intelligence researcher David Levy believes sex and marriage with robots will be commonplace by the year 2050.

"Once you have a story like 'I had sex with a robot, and it was great!' appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I'd expect many people to jump on the bandwagon," Levy said.
Obviously, Cosmo agrees. The picture above is Cosmo's vision of the future of their magazine, one of many future magazine covers mocked up for an Association of Magazine Publishers conference about media in the next millennium.

I think we can all tell where this blog post is going. That's right. It's time for the Adam's Life Top Ten Hottest Robots!!!!

#10 - Rachael
Replicants Rule!
With Robots Like This, Who Needs Humans?

Blade Runner's femme fatale didn't even know she was a robot... which is a minus in my opinion. What's the point of having a robot girl if she thinks for herself? That said, Sean Young is hot. Wait a minute... Finkle is Einhorn.... Eihorn is FINKLE!!!

#9 - AF 709
Julie Newmar
"Finally, A Woman Not Repulsed By My Sexism!"

I never saw "My Living Doll," a short-lived sitcom on CBS in 1964, but I know a hot robot when I see one. Apparently, the plot involved a scientist training the AF 709 in all the ways of womanhood, like following orders from men (this was the early 60s, after all).

#8 - Sgt. Eve Edison
Yancy Butler
Apparently, Robots In The Future Look Like Yancy Butler

On the even shorter-lived series, Mann & Machine (yes, that was the title), Sgt. Eve Edison was a sophisticated android capable of learning human emotion. In one not-so-classic episode, Edison's maternal instincts were "turned on" when she's placed in charge of caring for an abandoned infant. Maternal and capable of fighting crime? If only humans possessed the same miraculous abilities.

#7 - Maria
C-3PO's Girlfriend

In Metropolis, an evil scientist kidnaps a union leader and replaces her with a robot. While not the most aesthetically pleasing, Maria can perform a hell of an erotic dance. Sort of like Britney Spears. Joke! I love Britney.

#6 - Number Six
Tricia Helfer
Hugh Hefner Supports The Robot Community

The only robot to have appeared naked in Playboy, Battlestar Galactica's Number Six has the power to reincarnate herself after death. Which means she'll probably hook up with someone else once you're gone. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

#5 - The Stepford Wife
Katherine Ross
A Town Full Of Robots No One Else Knows About? That's Plausible.

Conflict: You're in love with your wife, you just wish she was less independent and had no emotion other than "eerily chipper." Resolution: You move to Stepford and turn her into a robot. Epilogue: Try not to be creeped out.

#4 - The Bionic Woman
Michelle Ryan
Part Human, Part Machine, All Sexy

Yes, I know. A bit controversial. After all, her brain is still human. But if "better, stronger, faster" applies to all areas of her anatomy, then I'm not complaining.

#4 (alternate) - Kay-Em 14
Lisa Ryder
Gotta Love A Robot In Pleather

Just in case you don't buy the Bionic Woman as a robot... In the horror movie Jason X, Kay-Em 14 continually blows Jason away, saving (some of) the people on board a spaceship from getting a machete to the face. I'm terrified of Jason, the character from the Friday the 13th films, so having this chick around would do wonders for my anxiety. Plus, she shows her boobs [link not safe for work].

#3 - Vanessa Kensington
Elizabeth Hurley
Oh yeah baby!!"

In Austin Powers 2, it's revealed that Austin's wife, Vanessa, is actually a fembot. Shagadelic enough to fool a super-spy, Kensington wins points for having that sexy British accent.

#2 - T-X Terminator
Kristanna Loken
Geez, You Ask Her To Morph Into Jessica Alba And She Gets All Shooty

For those who like their robot to have a little bit of attitude (and arms that turn into flamethrowers), there's the T-X Terminator from Rise of The Machines. Beautiful and deadly, T-X is made of liquid metal, which means she can take the form of anything... or anyone. Imagine the possibilities.

And now, what you've been waiting for, the hottest robot of all time is...


#1 - Rosie the Maid!
I'll Be Her Mr. J Any Day

She cooks, she cleans, and she's got enough sass to keep things interesting. And those gorgeous red eyes! What more can a guy want?

P.S. The Japanese are already way ahead of us in terms of creating the ultimate robot woman:

Oh those wacky Japanese! They've actually done it! They've created a robot woman! And not unattractive, I must say. Still, looks a bit stiff to me. And what's with all that jerking around? Can you imagine getting to sleep with that thing spasming next to you? I'll take Rosie, thank you very much.


Anonymous said...

rosie is hottt

Anonymous said...

You forgot about Rommie from Andromeda (Lexa Doig) - not only is she incredibly hot, not only is she a robot, she's a damn warship too! All that sexiness and the power to blow up suns. What more could you want?

Adam said...

I never watched Andromeda, so I was a bit confused as to whether Lexa Doig was a hologram, a robot, or a spaceship. Apparently, she's all three. She can drive me around the universe anyday.

Anonymous said...

Not sure if this counts or not but the female robots in those Heineken commercials have a soft spot in my heart. Bonus=beer in the chest cavity. How can that be bad?!?

Lucky Con said...

i've heard that there are shirts you can wear that hook up via usb and you can "hug" other people via internet if they are wearing a hug shirt too.. in which case you're both made for each other, but seriously.. i mean other clothing in the same fashion.. i just fear a malfunction

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