Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Mega Millions Jackpot
$370 Million Dollars

I am not an experienced gambler. I've only gotten a genuine lottery ticket once before, when I won a free lotto ticket on a "Take 5" scratch-off. So when I went to the bodega today to buy a ticket for tonight's $370 million+ drawing, I had no idea what I was doing. I did, however, make sure not to choose the numbers chosen by Hurley from ABC's LOST. I have no desire to spend years stranded on a weird island... especially since Maggie Grace is no longer there.

Maggie, I Love You
Money Can't Buy Me Maggie's Love... or Can It?

But clearly, I was not alone in my lottery virginity. A Murray-Hill guy (you know the type-- short hair all waxed up, striped button down, long island accent) was giving the bodega guy hell for messing up his ticket. "The numbers aren't in the order I chose!!!" he yelled, quite preturbed, no doubt envisioning his millions going down the drain because of some "damn immigrant." He demanded another ticket. "You'll have to buy another," the bodega guy said.

Grudgingly, the guy agreed. "43, 2, 0..."

"You can't choose zero, sir."

"Oh, ok, 3..."

He finished, and the bodega guy printed out the ticket. The Murray Hill guy was not happy. "It's exactly the same!! The order is wrong!!!!" In a fit of anger, the guy stormed away. Then it was my turn to pick my numbers.

When the bodega guy handed me the ticket, I too saw that my numbers were correct, but the order was different. It was at that moment I realized:

The numbers always go lowest to highest. No matter what order you choose them. Lowest numbers always go first.

Obviously, the Murray Hill guy was a first time lottery player like myself. Unlike myself, he didn't realize his mistake, and ended up looking stupid when he blamed the bodega guy for derailing his lottery-winning dreams. I bet he went to another bodega to buy a "correct" ticket, only to find himself holding a third copy of the same ordered numbers.

Anyways, good luck to all of you out there who are fighting to beat the odds and fulfill the American dream-- getting incredibly rich by doing nothing. Except you, Murray Hill guy. You're rude to bodega guys-- you get bad karma.

P.S. LOST THEORY ALERT!!! Check out Lottery Lady Yolanda Vega's favorite TV Show. Was Hurley's lottery win... RIGGED?????

Is Yolanda Behind The Mysterious Dharma Initiative?? Think About It!

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