Monday, October 25, 2004

Half of This Is True

"I'm going out to let my real talent show, not to just stand there and dance around. Personally, I'd never lip-synch. It's just not me." --Ashlee Simpson, Lucky Magazine


"Ashlee Simpson claimed a chronic gastric disorder was the cause of her lip-synching miscue on "Saturday Night Live" this past weekend. The singer said that acid reflux disease caused her to lose her voice and rely on a backing tape for her performance.

[A performance in which she stood and then... danced a jig!]

"It's so embarrassing," Simpson said when she called in to "TRL" Monday (October 25), "because it sucks. The total situation was a bummer.""

Luckily, no one found out that her sister, Jessica, actually uses a stunt double when in bed with Nick Lachey.

"We all do it," Jessica said. "Sometimes you need some help, or Nick's being really annoying and I have a headache."

"It's no big deal, to be honest," Nick replied. "I never sang my own songs. I always used a backing trac... Wait. What did she just say?"

Ashlee's father said it was his decision for Ashlee to lip sync.

"Did you hear her at the VMA's? Her voice sounds like she's blowing a german shepherd up there."

Her father added, "She also isn't nearly as hot as Jessica. I guess we know which child isn't mine."

Britney Spears-Federline, who has also been accused of lip synching in the past, released this statement on her web site about the incident.

"I'm just a girl, not yet a woman. My perogative is just so toxic right now. Hit me baby one more time."

Included with the statement were photos of the luxury trailer she and Kevin plan to live in, and several links to chewing tobacco retailers.

"I'm sooo excited about the new place!" Britney wrote. "It even has a tire swing!"

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