Friday, March 14, 2008

Only In America, or How To Save The Music Industry

Ashley Dupre, Hooker, Music Star

AM NY reported this morning that Ashley Dupre, the high-class call-girl who NY Gov Elliot Spitzer frequented, is now a millionaire.

Ashley is an aspiring musician, and her two tracks, now selling for 98 cents, have sold over two million.

Finally, a solution for the music industry's woes! Pimping out artists!

New Ashley Simpson album not selling well? Pimp her out to NJ Guv Jon Corzine and watch the magic unfold. Jessica Simpson CD not flying off the shelves? Hook her up with Dick Cheney and presto: platinum. The latest John Mayer collection not resonating with the music-buying public? Tell Barbara Boxer that for just $5,000 a night, the curly-haired crooner will sing "Your Body Is A Wonderland" while running around her bedroom like this:

Sorry 'bout that. I probably should have warned you first.

Maybe if every musician was a prostitute, the record industry wouldn't need to sue kids and their moms for illegally downloading Spice Girls songs.

It's worth considering.

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