Monday, March 26, 2007

All Aboard The Matzah Bus

School Bus Oven
Note: Not Used To Cook Children

School Bus Serves Up Flat, Unleavened Bread

Gotta applaud this guy on his creativity. It's hard to find an oven capable of baking tons of matzah that also serves as a form of public transportation. When the matzah is ready, do the red lights flash? That would be sooo cool.

Luckily, the police did not visit the house next door, where a minivan has been converted into a latke* fryer.

In other news, I got a Nintendo Wii. My roommate and I were terribly bored on Saturday, and stopped into a GameStop to see if there was any interesting game we could buy for our Gamecube. There wasn't. I decided, hey, lets get the Wii! I asked the lady behind the counter if they had them in.

"Oh no," she laughed. "We won't have those until April, maybe even May."

I was devastated. But just then, out of nowhere, a creepy guy vaguely resembling a mix of Rob Corddry and Rainn Wilson sidled up next to me.

"Tomorrow. 10 am. Circuit City in Union Square. Arrive promptly at a quarter till. That's all I'm at liberty to say."

I turned to ask him how he knew this information, but he was already gone. Like he had never been there at all...

So the next day I woke up early, despite the fact that it was a Sunday, and my typical Sunday wake up time is 1 pm. I went over to Circuit City. There were about 15 people when I got there, waiting for the store to open. One guy was there with his kid. "I got the XBox 360 and the PS3 for me. I'm getting the Nintendo Wii for him," he said. One woman, there with her husband, was really excited about the Wii, even though she said she never played video games. More than a few people made jokes to the effect of "Oh, they're out of Wii's already, you other guys should just go home." I was one of those jokers.

Finally, the store opened, we were led in, five at a time. And I got my Wii. All the way home I clutched it tightly to my chest, fearing that every person I passed might snatch it away from me.

When I got home, I set it up immediately. For such a seemingly sophisticated device, it was pretty quick and easy to get started.

First, I created my Wii character, called a Mii. I think it's possible to download your Mii and post it on web pages such as this, but until I figure it out, you'll have to make do with my bad drawing...


My roommate and I played for hours straight. We just couldn't stop. After every Wii sports game, they give you the option "Play Again?" And it was irresistable. Wii Bowling was especially addictive. What was amazing about it, to me, was that I bowled exactly how I bowl in real life. Horribly.

Wii Bowling
Your Mii's Hands Are Detatched Floating Orbs.. Just Like In Real Life!!

What also amazed me was how active you can get. When I first heard about people accidently throwing their Wii controllers through their TV sets, or injuring themselves and others, I thought they had to be complete spazoids. But playing Wii Tennis, I totally understood how that stuff can happen. My roommate and I were both sweating as we volleyed back and forth. The controllers get slippery. Thank God for that wrist strap.

Wii Tennis

And then there was Wii Baseball, where in order to throw a faster pitch, you need to "throw" the controller faster. I may need Tommy John surgery in a few weeks if I keep this up.

I thought Wii sounded cool before. Now that I've actually experienced it, I'm convinced this is the future of gaming. I can't wait to get home and try Wii Boxing and Wii Golf.

To tie this whole entry together... It's all about human creativity, my friends. The same kind of imagination that can turn a bus into an oven can also create something as magical as the Nintendo Wii. All this has inspired me to start my own creative project. You heard it here first people... I'm turning my parents' Toyota Avalon into a Panini press.

Patent pending.

* the goyim** call them "potato pancakes"

** "goyim" meaning anyone who read this "**" to find out what "goyim" means


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Hot Mama said...

I laughed so hard I had to wii. Great post!

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