Friday, June 30, 2006

Locos Pocos Arbustos

Jenna Shocker

The website Sploid has an, um, interesting theory on First Daughter Jenna Bush's planned trip to Latin America. As Sploid sees it, its all part of a plan for the Bushes to create a North American super state.

I'm not convinced. Is everything the Bush family does some type of evil plot?

Probably. But this looks pretty innocuous to me.

Meanwhile, I found out the other day that Natalie Portman wasn't the only dark-haired Ivy league celebrity at the Radiohead concert I attended. As Thom Yorke wrote on the Radiohead website:

on the shitlist
this'll make you laugh.

i was told yesterday that one of the daughters of the president came to NY show 2.
we were playing THe Tourist at the end of the show.. and yyes we did wander what the shuffling manhandling fighting was in the distance of the audience.
turns out it was her 6 bodyguards clearing the way for the first daughters exit. and some pour soul objected at being manhandled by the secret service. i think i would have to.

infact if i had known all this my objections would have been more forthright and extensive...if you know what i mean. which is perhaps why our lot chose not to tell me who was in the building before we went on. probably a good idea.

i dont know if we should be

A. honoured
B. amused
C. bemused
D. ask if she had a valid ticket
E. object belatedly on moral grounds
F. ask again if she had a ticket and question whether this really what our gigs are about
G. dont blame the daughter for the father
H. shutup and smile
It was Barbara in the audience. So that explains why I was strip searched and interrogated in a windowless cell for an hour before the show!!!

Of course, this is a perfect example of why Jenna really has to go to Latin America. Her sister goes to a Radiohead concert, the best kind of concert there is, and scuffles between her leering fans and her bodyguards are causing mayhem during the gorgeous, soaring finale. How embarassing! Is it any wonder she's been in the city with me for months and hasn't yet called my number?? Obviously she's afraid our relationship won't stand up to the New York City scrutiny. Page 6 is harsh.

Jenna's not going down super-south for daddy... she's going down to escape the spotlight. As opposed to Monica Lewinsky, who went down to get in it. (Shwing!)

I'm not funny.

I love the Bush twins. I suspect they're secretly embarassed at some of the things their dad's administration does. And as I said way back in the days before the voting machines in Ohio got rigged:

Yeah, I feel bad for them. I mean, they’re twins. Like the Coors Light commercial. Let them go buck naked, let them go to Mardi Gras and flash for Girls Gone Wild. These are their formative years, the years that George enjoyed without censure. You know Dubya’s staying up nights, past his 8:00 bedtime, staring at the ceiling wondering why he doesn’t see little dancing pink elephants anymore. His life has become responsible out of necessity. Every time his limo passes a bunch of GW students leaving the campus to go out on the town, you know it pains him inside. I mean, you can’t exactly drink 40’s of old E in the Oval Office. But what about his girls? Shouldn’t Barbara be allowed to chug a quart of vodka and wake up in a frat boy’s bed with only a vague recollection of the previous night’s activities?
So I think it's great that Jenna is going to Latin America. Now she can finally party away from the prying eyes of papa and papparazzi. She can chug Cuervo with Chavez, pour down some Patron with Palacio, go sake-bombing with Saca. Part of a nefarious Bush plan? I think not. Jenna just has some partyin left to do. Don't we all?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How do I email you? Can you help me?

You have a contact that I need to contact... For 5 years I have been volunteering at a non-profit as their designer. We are preparing for our 2007 annual printed calendar and I have the ability (since I am the designer) to input in a concert that I want to put together. I've had a lot of success in the past with concerts, though this one would definitely not everything that I have accomplished. Once the date is entered, the concert WILL happen. I found you via google and I need your help. I'd appreciate any direction you can point me in.

Great site!
Here is the organization I work with.
I'm in the faculty/volunteer area.

javegr at gmail dot com
~ Jason

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