Bush Takes A Leak
President George W. Bush vowed to fire the person responsible for leaking the name of an undercover CIA operative to the press. Today, we finally know who that person is.
President George W. Bush.
"Finally we've gotten to the bottom of this," said Bush, in a statement. "Now we can fire the evildoer and get back to the business of fighting terror."
Bush vowed to pursue criminal charges against the "America-hating leaker."
"We will prosecute this individual to the fullest extent of the law. George Bush needs to realize that leaks will not be tolerated by my administration."
When reporters pointed out that Bush was indeed, talking about himself, the President went on the offensive.
"Why does the press always have to be so negative? All you guys ever talk about is that 50 people were killed in a mosque explosion. No one's mentioned that we handed out a hundred Hello Kitty notepads to a school in Tirkut today."
"Make no mistake," Bush continued. "We will win this war, despite the damage that people like this George Bush guy do when they leak classified information."