This Is Surprisingly Relevant To My Life

Goalie Attends Concert, Team Loses 50-1

BRUSSELS, Belgium - Belgian women's soccer team SK Berlaar had to stomach a 50-1 defeat against rival KV Mechelen on Saturday because their goalkeeper had opted to attend a music concert instead, a local newspaper said.

"Our keeper went to Pukkel Pop. That's why," substitute goalkeeper Charlotte Jacobs told Het Laatste Nieuws daily on Monday.

Ok, so the starting goalie went to a concert. Maybe she let the team down. But 50-1? Is the backup goalie in a wheelchair?*

*No offense to those in wheelchairs

"That's why"???! Geez, sounds like the goalie who let in 50 goals is trying to pass the buck.

I'm going to a concert Tuesday. System of A Down. I've been looking forward to it for weeks. Unfortunately, turns out that my company softball team has a playoff game that day as well. So I was in a brief dilemma. Game or concert?

Now I doubt the team will miss my contribution as much as this team did. I just hope no one blames me if we lose.

If I were the goalie who missed the game, I'd give a big "Fuck you" to the substitute goalie who ducked all responsibility for the loss.

I mean, come on 50-1? Did the sub stop anything? A blind, deaf, quadrapelegic monkey could do better.*

*No offense to blind, deaf, quadrapelegic monkeys.