Tuesday, August 16, 2005

News Of The Weird

In Today's News Stories:

The Ferret Olympics was forced to change its name after the U.S. Olympic Committee threatened to sue.

In related news, The National Pork Council is demanding Gold Medal gymnast Paul Hamm change his name as well.

Late Monday, a pickup truck (supposedly driven by a man mad at the anti-war protesters camped outside Bush's ranch)tore through rows of white crosses that protesters had set up about two-tenths of a mile along the side of the road in Crawford. The crosses bore the names of fallen U.S. soldiers.

Now there's a way to support our troops... Running over their memorials.

89 children have submitted their names to the TSA because they were mistakenly on the "no fly" lists. Of those, 14 are under the age of 2.

The other 75 are members of the Polyphonic Spree.

No wait, better punch line... I always knew those diapers looked suspicious.

No.. still better... I've heard of babies laying bombs in their Pampers but this is rediculous!

One mom who unknowingly bought her daughter a book about a prostitute said, “I was more shocked with the fact that I allowed her to read it… that I didn’t even know she was reading it.”

The title of the book? The Autobiography of Britney Spears

Russian drug agents will begin feeding cows marijuana during the cold, long Russian winter.

I could write something, but I think the drug agency officer says it best.

No word yet on whether or not the cows will begin listening to Phish.

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