"We hit a little bit of reality, hardcore, after the first three weeks. But we handled it fine, and now things are starting to go really smooth. Before we got married we were on tour, and we were just like kids, ordering room service, saying, 'Let's go out tonight. Then, all of a sudden, you have this home, you have the kids, you have to get the diapers, get the dog to the vet. It's this reality. Like omigod, I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can't I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks."
--Britney Spears, in an interview with Allure Magazine
Exclusive: The rest of the interview went like this:
"I thought this marriage was gonna be one big fuck fest, and the stork would come and bring me and Kevin a 16 year old daughter that I could hang out with and braid her hair. Not these little mimi people with their poop and stuff. Now Kevin's all like, 'Hey Brit, lets eat dinner in tonight,' or , 'Hey Brit, stop dancing naked and doing body shots in front of the children,' or 'Hey Britt, stop freebasing cocaine with the gardener.' Whatever happened to the fun? This mother crap isn't as much of a party as it sounds."
"But I'm going to keep my private life private from now on. I won't tell anybody about Kevin's little problem getting it up or how my vibrators always run out of batteries. I'm through telling everybody about how I put sleeping pills into Kevin's kids' food so I can get a little peace and quiet. I don't know how that fat bitch [Kevin's ex] Shar does it. Anyways, I'm just looking forward to being a normal housewife. At least until the divorce."
Note: Second two paragraphs may not actually be quoted verbatim.
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