Thursday, November 04, 2004

Spinning Heads

So the Republicans won.

Bush energized his base. 93% of them voted for him. Meanwhile, Only 88% of Democrats voted for Kerry. That cost Kerry the election.

Who are these democrats that voted for Bush?

Well. A lot of them are old and senile and forget what Bush has done the last four years. Some of them just moved in from the Carribbean. A few are Jews that think Kerry slept with Yasser Arafat.

And some, shockingly, are people like you and me-- except they bought the Republican spin.

And its these people-- the ones that continue to say "Well, I didn't like Bush, but I didn't trust Kerry," that really are the ones to blame for our future. Which, if you haven't been paying attention, looks like this:

A gay man walks down the street. He is beaten by a gang of thugs. The police catch the thugs, ask them why they beat the gay man. The thugs respond-- "Well, he's different. He's not like us." "Who told you that?" The police respond. "Your parents?"

"No," the thugs respond, "Our President."

A 14-year old girl is raped. She goes to the doctor. The doctor tells her she's pregnant.

"What can I do Doc?"

"Build a nursery," the doctor responds.

Coathanger sales go up.

A woman puts an American flag on her front lawn.

"What's that?" A passing child asks.

"Oh, this is what the symbol of our country was before they changed it to the cross."

Two soldiers huddle in a bunker. The sound of gunfire echoes outside.

"When we going home, Phil? When are we going home?"

"Whenever they stop 'supporting' us, Ted."

Two congressmen walk into the capitol building.

"Remember before this place was called the Halliburton Building?"

"Yeah, and when the Carlyle House used to be called the White House."

"You wanna do lunch at that cafe by the Marlboro Monument?"

"Sure, right after we confirm this racist judge."

This is the future you get when you place people in power who have made it abundantly clear they favor the bigoted and the arrogant. This is what you get when you elect people who have flaunted their involvement with special interests and violent war mongers.

I spoke with some people who voted for Bush. They said these things, which I will disprove via a new method of incorporating facts.

"Kerry is a flip-flopper."

Kerry voted for the 87 million when the bill had pages saying how the bill would be funded. In other words, he voted for the bill when it made sense.

Then the Republicans took out those pages. And clipped on some pages declaring Teresa Heinz Kerry a ripe bitch. (note: I'm paraphrasing)

So he voted against it.

This happens all the time, with democrats and republicans. Bush voted against creating the 9/11 commission when he thought he would actually have to answer their questions ALONE! The nerve of that 9/11 commission, putting him on the spot like that. He flip-flopped after enormous public pressure, as long as he could have Cheney by his side, answering for him.

By voting for Bush, I'm supporting our troops.

While many of our troops are staunch republicans (they like their guns), this doesn't mean voting for a democrat doesn't support our troops.

It's the Republican leadership that is responsible for sending them to Iraq without body armor and adequate equipment. Its the ineptness of Donald Rumsfeld that put our troops in harms way without any plan to get them out.

By re-electing Bush, you're saying that every decision he made is right, from going to war, to allowing the massive looting and chaos after the fall of Baghdad that caused the Iraqis to hate us, to denying that the US had to follow the Geneva Conventions (there was a prison scandal about this) to failing to secure dangerous explosive depots, to his failure to destroy the insurgency.

It's not the troops you supported with your vote, instead, you supported the guy who is getting them killed with his incompetence.

Myth: Kerry Looks like Frankenstein

Reality: I think he looks more like the tree guy from Lord of the Rings.

Myth: Kerry's immoral

Reality: When Kerry saw atrocities being committed by US troops against Vietnamese civilians, he committed political suicide to expose it. This is after he saved the lives of his crewmates. Kerry helped bring down organized crime as a prosecutor in Massachusettes. Meanwhile, Bush did coke and used his Dad to get out of going to war. Bush was "born again" only after he nearly drank himself to death, and had been arrested for drunken driving. Bush hasn't acknowledged the deaths of any soldiers in Iraq to this day, refusing to attend a funeral, refusing to even visit Arlington National Cemetery. Bush ran a primary campaign against John McCain which accused McCain of fathering a black illegitamate child, in order to destroy the senator's presidential bid. Bush joked about WMD at a fundraising event, while soldiers died looking for them. Maybe we just have different views on morality. Obviously Bush voters think it comes down to whether a gay man can live like a human being or not.

"Moral Values" as defined by Bush, are putting abortion doctors and poor teenage mothers in the chair, restricting stem cell research, and declaring, by constitutional amendment, that "all men are created equal... except when they like men."

That's some pretty great morality there.

Myth: Kerry is weak on terrorism.

He was a war hero in Vietnam. He brought down organized crime. He is a sane individual.

Does anybody in their right mind think that Kerry doesn't take terrorism seriously?

90% of the containers entering our ports go unchecked. The cargo holds of planes go unchecked. Bush took thousands of police officers off the streets. Bush put ASSAULT weapons (the name the NRA gave them, not the liberals) back on the streets. Bush is giving New Yorkers and Washington D.C. residents less terrorism defense money per person than Alaska.

Bush has helped aid AL Queda recruiting. Terrorism attacks have gone UP in the last four years, not down.

Bin Laden is still free because Bush decided to send warlords instead of special forces to get him.

Is anybody paying attention?

No. If you're a Bush voter, it means you heard "flip-flopper," "weak," and "global test" and you ate it: hook, line and sinker. You decided that "flip flopper" sounded bad, and you decided to trust a president who insists that Clear Skies need more pollution, Healthy Forests need to be cut down, and Shock and Awe is more important than Smart and Well Planned. My head is spinning.

Get a clue!

Yeah yeah. Now is time to heal as a nation, blah blah blah. Enjoy the next four years. I know Osama will.

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