Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Apple's iPhone 4 Antenna Issue Actually A Good Thing

I don't get all the hubbub about this iPhone 4 antenna issue, which everyone seems to be panicking about (except, you know, actual iPhone 4 users). In fact, if pressing the little black line on the lower edge of the phone really does kill reception and drop calls, it's actually quite a genius feature.

For years, mankind has struggled to end phone calls with ridiculously long talkers. Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine uses a hairdryer to pretend she's in the car, so she has an excuse to stop talking with her friend's long-winded boyfriend?

Well we no longer have to resort to such ruses. With the iPhone 4, simply give your phone the "death grip" whenever a call is lasting a little too long.

"Oh, sorry, I would have loved to listen to all the names you've thought of for your cat... but this damn iPhone!"

"Oh, I didn't hang up on you, Mom. I heard most of your lecture about how I need to get a real job. It was just this phone thing..."

"Don't be silly, of course I wasn't bored by your ruminations on whether you should have chicken salad or tuna for lunch. It's all Steve Jobs' fault."

So rejoice, iPhone 4 owners. You now have a magic button that can act as a get-out-of-call free card any time you need it. Apple should really be selling this as a feature.

Just don't use it on me.

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