Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Jewish Fantasy Baseball 2008: Week 6

Gabe Kapler

Are we already on Week 6 of the fantasy baseball season? This year's gone by quicker than a circumcision!

Ouch. I promise, future Jewish references will be more tasteful.

I am happy to report that the Major League Jews have defied expectations, with 2 wins and 3 losses, good for second place in the East division of League-28499.

Week 1 was a tough loss to cmoBaseball, 200 - 165. A whopping 0 points from an injured Moises Alou could have been to blame. Adam's Life Sluggin' Semite of the Week? Ryan Braun: 9 for 28, 2 2B, 2 HR, 4 R, 6 RBI.

Week 2, the Joltin' Jews were rarin' for redemption. They got it against the goyim of wyometslover, winning decisively, 191 to 142. The wyomets team just couldn't keep up with big performances from Kevin Youkilis, Ian Kinsler and Lance "Hora Dance" Berkman. Berkman's 42 point performance--9 for 23, 4 2B, 3 HR, 8 R, 7 RBI, 3 BB and a SB-- earned him Adam's Life Sluggin' Semite of the Week honors.

Before the game in week 3, Kevin Youkilis must have eaten his matzo ball soup. Because he was largely responsible for the Baseball Boychik's second straight victory, this time against an Atlanta Braves supporter's Chipperfan08 squad. The Goateed Golem went 13 for 30 with 4 2B a HR, 5 R, 4 RBI and 2 BB, to win his first Adam's Life Sluggin Semite of the Week award of the season. The Mets pitching staff also came through in a huge way, accounting for 79 points (5 wins, a shutout). I'm not sure how Shoeneweis did that week, but I'm sure he was partially responsible. Final score: 234 to 221.

Week 4 brought these high-flying Hebrews back down to earth. Not even a 51-point performance from this season's first two-time Adam's Life Sluggin Semite of the Week award winner, Lance Berkman (10 for 22, 2B, 3B, 4 HR, 7 R, 12 RBI, 5 BB, SB), was enough to overcome the t-breds, which were led by a dominant Cleveland Indians pitching staff (87 points). On a positive note, Gabe Kapler made his debut as a Major League Jew, scoring 10 points. Final score: 272 to 189.

Week 5, nothing could go right for the Line Drive Levis as they fell to the ironically-named Bottomfeederz, 271 to 171. Ryan Braun's 32-point performance (8 for 25, 3 2B, 2 HR, 3 R, 9 RBI, 3 BB) was one of the lone highlights in the Chosen Team's first blowout loss of the season. Perhaps his second Adam's Life Sluggin Semite of the Week award will inspire some underperformers (Gabe Kapler - 3 points) to step up to the bemah.

This week, the Major League Jews play "Coming from behind," which I hope is not as dirty a team name as it sounds. Check in on Monday to find out how they do.

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