Bush To Go Under, Cheney To Stay In Charge
The White House announced today that President George W. Bush will undergo anestheisia during a routine colonoscopy, meaning that while Bush is unconcious, Dick Cheney will continue to be acting President.
"I'm thrilled to be able to continue the great job I've been doing as head puppeteer... I mean President," Cheney said, in a statement.
The so-called Bush Presidency, now in it's 7th year, has been troubled by the war in Iraq, the war on terror, and myriad domestic issues, but Cheney is confident he can turn things around during his short term in office.
"I've got a few tricks up my sleeve," Cheney said. "Hint, it rhymes with atom bomb."
"Actually, that wasn't a hint. I intend to drop one on Iraq," he added.
Critics of the Bush/Cheney Presidency remain skeptical that a Cheney/Cheney Presidency can turn things around.
"A colonoscopy takes no time at all. He'll be out of there in an hour," said Linda Goodenfake, president of Mad and Raging Parents Insulted By Bush, or MR. PIBB.
"That's what they said about Iraq," Cheney responded. "And we know how that went."