After years of arrogance and embarassment, it was finally time for a change. And the decision has been made. Now we can all breathe a sigh of relief.
Britney Spears is divorcing Kevin Federline.
Oh and, yeah, the Democrats won the House and probably the Senate.
Everybody saw this coming. K-Fed now has the opportunity to knock yet another celebrity up with two kids and then leave (his ex also has two mini-Feds).
Perhaps the election was just the impetus Britney needed to vote her scumbag husband out. The neverending tabloid articles forecasting the end of the marriage were not unlike the many campaign commercials urging Americans to make a change. While millions of Americans were fed up with Bush, Britney was finally fed up with k fed.
The divorce apparently came as a shock to K-Fed, who was too busy trying to remarket his CD to consumers as a beverage coaster. Republicans, on the other hand, kind of knew this was coming. How could it not, with all the scandalous sex, horrifying mistakes, and rampant abuses of power? Yes, Republicans knew a Britney-K-Fed split was inevitable.
What does the future hold? Do the Democrats have a plan to win in Iraq? Does Britney have a plan to launch a new album? (she's been looking good lately)
I'm optimistic. By this time next year, we'll have Iraq secure, and be listening to the new Britney single, "Fed Up." And Former Senator Rick Santorum and failed rapper K-Fed will be cited on Page Six for their shocking indiscretions at Scores Gentleman's Club.
TMZ.com provides a photo retrospective of the couple's epic, tragic romance.
And MSNBC provides a handy map showing just how much Democrat fever has swept the nation.
It's a big day for change, people! So wear a new outfit. Eat at a new place. Take a different route home. If Britney can turn from pop star to white trash momma to pop star again, and the Democrats can turn from pansies to head honchos, there's hope for us all.
(note: first time voting in an actual voting booth-- rather than absentee)
2 comments:
Brilliant!! You are the obvious successor to Dave Barry! As for Kristin's comment on thr previous topic...Was Kristin using sarcasm? I sure hope so. Imagine what kind of family dynamic produces young children who think that the exercise of democracy portends such gloom for their family or the nation that they are forced to tears. Can you imagine Chelsea Clinton or the Gore kids doing that?
No, I wasn't being sarcastic. First of all, in regards to the Santorum children, I've read many comments by leftest bloggers who said some downright vulgar and distateful things about them (far worse than what Adam said), which I find utterly tasteful from a group that preaches tolerance. I was not a big fan of Bill Clinton, but it bothered me when I heard people making fun of Chelsea, I would never think of doing such a thing. Santorum's daughter crying, she loved her Dad and she wanted him to win. He couldn't just leave her crying when the rest of the family was up there, and he needed Karen by his side. Give me a break, she is 8 years old. Campaigns are stressful on families, I know, my uncle was a state senator for 18 years, and it nearly ruined his family life, which is why we see few good people like Santorum in politics. Who would want to put their family through the muck? People like Ted Kennedy seem to fit in better. Sad.
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