Thursday, October 27, 2005

Pot Is Good For You moderation

New Study Finds Wacky Tobacky Better Than Cancer-Sticks

Apparently, a joint is better for you than a cool, smooth menthol. Exactly what Dr. Cheech has been saying all along.

Of course, most things are better for you than smoking cigarettes. Like shocking yourself repeatedly with exposed wires, and the ever-popular "all-funnelcake" diet. So this isn't exactly huge news. But don't you get the feeling that sometime, way in the past, a fledgling big tobacco (then called, "little weed") was like... do we sell the addictive plant or the groovy one? And they went with Nicky Nicotine?

How did icky sticky become illegal while a product that paints your lungs a shade that Sherman Williams calls "Obsidian" stay legal? I'm not making the argument for legal marijuana here---i don't think anything that can make a Pauly Shore movie seem like a good idea should be legal--- I'm making the argument that The Marlboro Man, Joe Camel, The British Parliament and Harry Winston all should become relics of the pre-cigarette ban age.

[UPDATE: I've been informed that, contrary to popular opinion, the British Parliament does not manufacture cigarettes.]

[UPDATE II: Harry Winston claims he's just a jeweler. But I'm suspicious of anyone with that many diamonds.]

It's already happening throughout the world. Smokers are being forced to fringes. The aforementioned British Parliament banned smoking in public buildings around the country. A recent report said that New York's smoking ban has been so effective only 18% of New Yorkers now smoke (Apparently, only 18% of New Yorkers are "the cool kids"). Smoking laws and restrictions are on the books or being considered throughout the U.S. Sales of Nicorette have never been better.

Next thing you know, Phillip Morris will stop selling cigarettes and start selling Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

Now, I have friends who are smokers. I know they may resist the end that is coming. What smoker wouldn't? There's something so wonderfully fulfilling about a small leaf filled cylinder that fills your lungs with noxious chemicals, shortening your lifespan in exchange for a 3-4 second buzz and a somewhat socially acceptable way to fulfill your oral fixation. I sympathize. I really do. But it's clear there will soon be a healthy solution.



Steve said...

Smoke em if you got em!

Chef Bouillon said...

You have just given me the ammo to win this argument with my husband! Thank you so much! Now it looks like I get to keep smoking and he either has to quit or switch from his nasty cancer sticks!

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