The Money Pit

Why am I reading the most insightful analysis I've read to date of congress's 700 billion dollar bailout plan in an article written by a sports journalist?

As Congress continues to debate whether they are going to hand over $700 billion of your money to the wealthy who screwed up Wall Street and the banking industry, you will be relieved to learn that top executives of the bailed-out firms temporarily will be limited to a strict $500,000 a year in tax-subsidized income. Surely you receive $500,000 a year in tax-subsidized income, don't you? Anyway, supposing we assume the bailout is required, here is what bothers me about the plan so far: Taxpayers don't get stock, what they get is warrants that can be exchanged for stock, and nonvoting stock to boot. This means that once media attention switches to the next crisis that everyone will claim in retrospect to have seen coming, the Wall Street rich can quietly lobby to have the warrants never called, thus keeping the entire bag of gold for themselves. Even if the warrants are called, taxpayers get no voting positions -- meaning the boards of directors of the bailed-out firms can do anything they damn please with taxpayers' money.

A week ago, Warren Buffett rescued Goldman Sachs by injecting $5 billion in capital. Did Buffett bargain for warrants that can be exchanged at an unknown later date for nonvoting shares? No: He is not a fool. Buffett gave Goldman Sachs $5 billion in return for senior preferred stock, the kind that votes and also is more valuable than ordinary shares. That is to say, he used his money to buy something. Goldman can now employ the cash to fix its liquidity problems. The United States Congress and the White House should use the public's $700 billion to buy something, namely senior preferred shares. Why are Congress and George W. Bush not simply following the road map laid out on this problem by the smartest investor of our era? Either Congress and the president are a bunch of blithering fools -- or what they actually want is to insure the public's money is never seen by the public again.

Gregg Easterbrook for congress?? We need somebody in there with an ounce of intelligence, rather than stooges who do whatever big business tells them to do.

The Economy's Latest Victim

Who cares about Bear Stearns? Or Lehman Brothers? Who gives a damn about AIG? The economic crisis has hit a company far more important to America, and indeed the nation's psyche as a whole.

I'm talking, of course, about Hershey's.

Hershey's Replaces "Milk Chocolate" with "Vegetable Oil Chocolate."


It's Still Chocolate, Except Vegetabley

Inflation and gas prices has made the price of cocoa butter go up-- so Hershey's decided to switch to cheaper vegetable oil. A tragedy of monumental proportions.

What sort of country are we living in when a venerable institution like Hershey's (founded in 1893) is forced to change their legendary product due to a floundering economy? What's next? Dropping a stripe from the American flag because red thread is just too costly?!?

What would Milton S. Hershey say?


"Give them quality. That’s the best kind of advertising in the world." -Milton Hershey

In other news, Willy Wonka had to lay off another twenty Oompa Loompas today. Union leader Orangehair McGiff criticized the move.

"He spends all this money on stupid stuff," McGiff said. "A riverboat in the middle of the factory? A train that transports people a few feet? No wonder Wonka can't afford to give us a health plan."

A sad day for chocolate lovers. A sad day indeed.

Who Is Matt Cassel?

This Sunday, for the first time since 2001, the New England Patriots will have someone other than Tom Brady under center for the start of a regular season game. Instead, fans will see Matt Cassel, a guy who is not dating Gisele, not the father of Bridget Moynahan's baby, and isn't constantly confused with Matt Damon.


Ignore The Man On The Left

Who exactly is this guy?

If you're a sports fan, or have even watched the news, you've probably heard that Cassel hasn't started a game since high school. You may even know he's married to a total hottie former USC volleyball star.

Seen here, unfortunately, hobnobbing with a certain someone...


Talk About Embarrassing Pictures On The Web...

I was curious to see what I could find out about this mystery man. This is what I uncovered:

His father, Greg, was a script writer on the CBS series "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" and his mother is a set designer. Matt and his family had to live in a hotel for weeks after the Northridge earthquake of 1994 destroyed their home.

Cassel was actually better at baseball as a kid. He batted cleanup on Northridge California's national championship Little League team in 1994, which eventually lost to Venezuela in the Little League World Series. "He's got tools other guys might not possess," his little league coach said. "He doesn't let anything bother him."

Then, his sophomore year, he took over as quarterback. He followed a solid sophomore season with a jaw-dropping junior year, quarterbacking his team to a championship.

His sophomore year football coach said, "With his personality, he's one of those kids who can throw an interception, then come back and throw a touchdown. I haven't had many kids who can go one play at a time. He's a big-time player, no question."

His high school girlfriend was a major hottie too:


She's a "professional model." Sort of like Gisele!

I guess that's what you get when you're the star quarterback.

He was ranked the #53 prospect in the nation coming out of high school. Although it should be noted, no one else in the top 100 that year has become an NFL superstar, except maybe Willis McGahee at #16.

There was no doubt he'd be a big star at USC. Carson Palmer was leaving for the NFL soon.

"It's a good situation at USC. I get to learn behind Carson Palmer for a few years and then I'll get my shot. I just want to make the most of my opportunity," Cassel said, back in 2000.

His freshman year, he threw only two passes, but ran for 22 yards.

Then... well. Then the career path got derailed. Paul Hackett, who was high on Cassel, was let go. Pete Carroll came in. Cassel backed up Palmer in 2002, throwing 4 passes, completing 3 for 27 yards. But the next season, Matt Leinart, not Cassel, got the starting nod. From then on, the kid with the golden arm didn't make one start at quarterback. His only start was.. very weirdly.. at tight end.

Cassel's junior year, he threw 13 passes. Senior year, he threw 14 passes and completed 10, for 97 yards and an interception.

Leinart took the reins and never looked back, becoming a 1st round draft pick of the Arizona Cardinals. Cassel was chosen in the 7th round by the Patriots, who were roundly criticized for being out of their minds. One respected sports magazine called their draft choices "bizarre."

This guy was high on Cassel before it became popular. He goes as far as comparing him to Matt Hasselbeck, though the comparisons he offers are far from compelling.

All in all, what we have here is the story of a gifted athlete who was all set for big things-- but then missed out on his big break.

I hope it doesn't happen against the New York Jets.

One more picture of Bridget for good measure:


Let's Hope Her Baby Doesn't Inherit Brady's Weak Knees

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P.S. Curt Schilling's wrong. New Yorkers don't take glee in Brady's injury. We take glee in Curt Schilling's injury. Cause he's an obnoxious jerk.

Welcome, Giants Fans, To Nazi Stadium

Oy vey...

Nazi Insurance Company Bids To Name New Meadowlands Football Stadium

It should be said that, apparently, Allianz has apologized for their Nazi past and worked together with Jewish organizations to make amends.

Of course, according to their own website, it wasn't until 1997 that Allianz began addressing its past as a Nazi-supporting company. Coincidentally, that was the same year Allianz was sued for not paying the life insurance policies of Holocaust victims:

"After a lawsuit was filed in 1997, Allianz immediately responded by establishing a 24-hour, multilingual telephone helpline in the United States, Europe and Israel to enable potential claimants with life insurance policies, from the Holocaust-era, to have their inquiries answered. We have offered immediate payment for each legitimate claim of Holocaust victims or their heirs that was found to have been unsettled after the end of the war."

"Since 1997 Allianz has been intensively engaged in addressing its past between 1933 and 1945."

Interesting... you mean they didn't begin apologizing for their Nazi past until they were sued more than 50 years later?

Heil Giants!!!


[Update: Thanks entirely to my blog post, the Jets and Giants have canceled talks with Allianz.

Seven Years

Osama Bin Laden is still free.
The World Trade Center is still a hole in the ground.
Oil prices have quadrupled.
4,721 American soldiers are dead.

The national debt has doubled.
Russia is performing military exercises in Venezuela.
The Euro is stronger than the dollar.
91,380 civilians have been killed in Iraq.

The inflation rate has doubled.
More than 40 terror groups have joined al Qaeda in the past 3 years.
The Taliban control half of Afghanistan.
A BBC poll found 49% of people worldwide think the U.S. hurts the world.

In the seven years since 9/11, the United States has done nothing to erase the scars created that tragic day. In fact, in most cases, our government has increased the magnitude of the loss we suffered. Nearly 3,000 died on that September morning, but since then, thousands upon thousands more have lost their lives. By attacking the center of our nation's financial strength, the terrorists sought to destroy our economy and change our way of life. Thanks to the Republican administration over the past 7 years, the terrorists have largely succeeded. The economy is imperiled, overwhelming security has hindered even the most innocuous of our recreational activities, and the national discourse now focuses on "who's more patriotic" rather than promoting advances in science and technology.

That would be bad enough.

Worse, the mastermind of this crime is still at large. His organization is growing. The despotic leaders that gave him shelter still control half of Afghanistan, seven years after the greatest army in the world began an attempt to drive them out. Worse, we devoted our resources to a different nation, Iraq, a country which had nothing to do with the attacks on 9/11. In doing so, we created two safe havens for terrorists-- in an uncontrolled Afghanistan and a leaderless Iraq.

We sunk so much money into our misadventures since 9/11, that our nation's infrastructure is crumbling. New Orleans, one of our nation's most beautiful cities, is still a shattered shell, 3 years after Hurricane Katrina. The city hardest hit by the September 11th attacks still has its gaping, open wound downtown, while skyscrapers and hotels are popping up in places like China and Dubai with astonishing speed and regularity.

Seven years after 9/11, our country hasn't recovered. What's worse, it's actually declined further. When the world saw the towers fall, they reached out to us, unequivocally. They wanted to know how they could help. We brushed them aside with a preemptive war that even Colin Powell had to lie about to justify. And now, stuck in the money pit, we see our banks and mortgage lenders collapsing. Oil prices inflating the costs of everyday goods and services. And rapidly disappearing influence, both financial and political, throughout the world.

Seven years after 9/11, make no mistake. The terrorists are winning. Every day Bin Laden twiddles his thumbs is testament to that. Our President isn't concerned with any of this. Indeed... we've seen him little in the past few months, save for an address at the Republican National Convention.

"Osama bin Laden is not out there leading any parades," says White House spokesperson Dana Perino.

He doesn't have to. He's doing just fine destroying America while sitting in a cave.

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You should really check out Thomas Friedman on Charlie Rose. He says some real intelligent things. "We've become the United States of Fighting Terrorism." So true. Whatever happened to the America that was the beacon of freedom, science, and culture? Is the new American dream simply "lets not get blown up??" Feel free to skip to 20:09, because a lot of the earlier stuff is about the environment and Friedman's latest book.

A nice piece on the Republicans' failed attempt to "change the world" after 9/11.

You can read my previously stated feelings about 9/11 here.