Belarus President Wishes He Was Hitler


Heil... Lukashenko?

"This is a Jewish city, and the Jews are not concerned for the place they live in. They have turned Bobruisk into a pigsty. Look at Israel – I was there." -Mustached Belarusian Leader Alexander Lukashenko.

Paradoxically, Lukashenko added, "I call on Jews who have money to come back to Bobruisk."

Lukashenko's anti-semitic remarks came less than ten days after vandals destroyed 15 graves at a Jewish cemetery in Bobruisk.

Bobriusk was once a thriving city with a sizable Jewish population. Of course, that was before Hitler's armies came to town.

According to the always reliable Wikipedia:

Believing that German troops would not target civlians, many Jews stayed behind. Consequently, 20,000 Babruysk Jews were shot and buried in mass graves. Ghetto and labor camps were established in the southwest part of town. The conditions inside the camps were horrible and involved lack of food, lack of sanitation and perpetual abuse by the Nazi guards. Soon the Nazis began executing the Jews in the ghetto in groups of about 30. By 1943 all labor camps have been liquidated and the remaining Jews killed. The few Jews who escaped joined partisan forces in the surrounding forest and went about attacking enemy railroad lines. There is a small memorial dedicated to the memory of Babrujsk Jews killed in the Holocaust, located in the Nachlat Yitzhak cemetery, Giv'atáyim, Israel, as part of the Babi Yar memorial.

As one blogger points out, in 1999 there were just 1,360 Jews in Bobruisk out of 227,000 people, which equates to just 0.5% of the population. This .5 is somehow responsible for the downfall of the town?

Seems to me that Nazis and Pogroms were more to blame. If anything, the LACK of Jews is the reason for Bobriusk's downfall. They once made up 60% of the population, and the city thrived. After they were killed off and driven out, the town never fully recovered.

But apparently Lukashenko believes otherwise. Since he's been in charge, anti-Semitic brochures and books have proliferated, desecration of Jewish cemeteries is on the rise and the republic's only Jewish university has closed. He was once quoted as saying...

"The history of Germany is a copy of the history of Belarus. Germany was raised from the ruins thanks to firm authority, and not everything connected with that well known figure, Adolf Hitler, was bad. German order evolved over the centuries and under Hitler it attained its peak."

Liberals Steal Dogs From Children



By Robbie Republican

Everyday in this country, I hear another frightening story about the downfall of the American family. Our values are quickly vanishing, and soon, we'll be left with nothing but a wasteland of homosexual baby killers, who will soon die off from lack of reproduction and return the land to its natural, God-given state.

The latest story concerns the recent dog adoption by famous lesbian Ellen DeGeneres. You undoubtedly have read my book, Lesbians Are Hot But Gays Are Not, in which I write that lesbians use the devil to convince certain parts of the male anatomy into approving of their lifestyle. On page 113, I refer to DeGeneres as "Ellen Degenerate." That's trademarked by the way.

But Ellen did a noble thing recently. Realizing that two pie eaters are unfit to raise a dog, she gave her adopted pup, Iggy, to a heterosexual family. If only more liberal free love drug addicts did the same thing. Ellen gave the dog to her hairstylist's family. The hairstylist's two daughters, 11 and 12, fell in love with it.

But when the agency called to check in on the dog, they found out about the transfer of ownership. Apparently, they think heterosexuals shouldn't own dogs. So they sent their Greenpeace thugs to the hairdresser's house, and ripped the dog out of the arms of its loving, and moral, new owners.

I am outraged. And so should you be. This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say that liberal America is on a rampage, seeking to tear out the pillars holding up the basic values of our country.

If a dog adoption agency thinks a lesbian junta is a fit owner for a dog, but thinks a typical American family is not, then who's to say that a human adoption agency won't conclude the same thing? It's a slippery slope, people, and the communists are greasing it up.

I urge every good, honest, Christian, hardworking, strong and patriotic American to protest this "Mutts & Mao" adoption agency. Show them that we'd rather let dogs get euthanized then send them into the hairy, brainwashing arms of the liberal lezzies.

My hero, Ronald Reagan, once said, "Win one for the Gipper!" I say, lets win this one for Iggy, for our children, and for America.

Next week, on my radio show, I'll talk about how the liberal media is using Hollywood studios to fool the American public into thinking the war in Iraq hasn't ended already.

Till then, God bless America. We're gonna need it.

Oh, My God-Oh, Mr. Roboto!



Are you tired of dealing with the imperfections of your significant other? Bored of sexual relations with human beings? Looking for someone who's a bit more... high maintenance?

Well, there's good news. Artificial intelligence researcher David Levy believes sex and marriage with robots will be commonplace by the year 2050.

"Once you have a story like 'I had sex with a robot, and it was great!' appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I'd expect many people to jump on the bandwagon," Levy said.

Obviously, Cosmo agrees. The picture above is Cosmo's vision of the future of their magazine, one of many future magazine covers mocked up for an Association of Magazine Publishers conference about media in the next millennium.

I think we can all tell where this blog post is going. That's right. It's time for the Adam's Life Top Ten Hottest Robots!!!!

#10 - Rachael

With Robots Like This, Who Needs Humans?

Blade Runner's femme fatale didn't even know she was a robot... which is a minus in my opinion. What's the point of having a robot girl if she thinks for herself? That said, Sean Young is hot. Wait a minute... Finkle is Einhorn.... Eihorn is FINKLE!!!

#9 - AF 709

"Finally, A Woman Not Repulsed By My Sexism!"

I never saw "My Living Doll," a short-lived sitcom on CBS in 1964, but I know a hot robot when I see one. Apparently, the plot involved a scientist training the AF 709 in all the ways of womanhood, like following orders from men (this was the early 60s, after all).

#8 - Sgt. Eve Edison

Apparently, Robots In The Future Look Like Yancy Butler

On the even shorter-lived series, Mann & Machine (yes, that was the title), Sgt. Eve Edison was a sophisticated android capable of learning human emotion. In one not-so-classic episode, Edison's maternal instincts were "turned on" when she's placed in charge of caring for an abandoned infant. Maternal and capable of fighting crime? If only humans possessed the same miraculous abilities.

#7 - Maria

C-3PO's Girlfriend

In Metropolis, an evil scientist kidnaps a union leader and replaces her with a robot. While not the most aesthetically pleasing, Maria can perform a hell of an erotic dance. Sort of like Britney Spears. Joke! I love Britney.

#6 - Number Six

Hugh Hefner Supports The Robot Community

The only robot to have appeared naked in Playboy, Battlestar Galactica's Number Six has the power to reincarnate herself after death. Which means she'll probably hook up with someone else once you're gone. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

#5 - The Stepford Wife

A Town Full Of Robots No One Else Knows About? That's Plausible.

Conflict: You're in love with your wife, you just wish she was less independent and had no emotion other than "eerily chipper." Resolution: You move to Stepford and turn her into a robot. Epilogue: Try not to be creeped out.

#4 - The Bionic Woman

Part Human, Part Machine, All Sexy

Yes, I know. A bit controversial. After all, her brain is still human. But if "better, stronger, faster" applies to all areas of her anatomy, then I'm not complaining.

#4 (alternate) - Kay-Em 14

Gotta Love A Robot In Pleather

Just in case you don't buy the Bionic Woman as a robot... In the horror movie Jason X, Kay-Em 14 continually blows Jason away, saving (some of) the people on board a spaceship from getting a machete to the face. I'm terrified of Jason, the character from the Friday the 13th films, so having this chick around would do wonders for my anxiety. Plus, she shows her boobs [link not safe for work].

#3 - Vanessa Kensington

Oh yeah baby!!"

In Austin Powers 2, it's revealed that Austin's wife, Vanessa, is actually a fembot. Shagadelic enough to fool a super-spy, Kensington wins points for having that sexy British accent.

#2 - T-X Terminator

Geez, You Ask Her To Morph Into Jessica Alba And She Gets All Shooty

For those who like their robot to have a little bit of attitude (and arms that turn into flamethrowers), there's the T-X Terminator from Rise of The Machines. Beautiful and deadly, T-X is made of liquid metal, which means she can take the form of anything... or anyone. Imagine the possibilities.


And now, what you've been waiting for, the hottest robot of all time is...

...


#1 - Rosie the Maid!

I'll Be Her Mr. J Any Day

She cooks, she cleans, and she's got enough sass to keep things interesting. And those gorgeous red eyes! What more can a guy want?

----
P.S. The Japanese are already way ahead of us in terms of creating the ultimate robot woman:


Oh those wacky Japanese! They've actually done it! They've created a robot woman! And not unattractive, I must say. Still, looks a bit stiff to me. And what's with all that jerking around? Can you imagine getting to sleep with that thing spasming next to you? I'll take Rosie, thank you very much.

Boomer Gadgets!

My latest article is up on MSN:



Check it out!

Some items that got cut for space:

Keep family ties: “Boomers have grandchildren now, and they want to tell them about their family,” Walker says. “They want to make sure their grandkids aren’t inheriting old pictures of people whom they don’t know.” Boomers who want their children to learn the family history (and those who could use a little help themselves) can take advantage of genealogy Web sites that allow users to quickly create their family tree (complete with uploaded photos) and find out how it links to others—even to celebrities. Ancestry.com and MyHeritage.com are two of the most popular sites.

Go on the road: Boomers have traveled more than any other generation in the history of the United States, according to the Association of Travel Marketing Executives. But that doesn’t mean they never get lost. A GPS navigation device may be more reliable than asking at the gas station. “Once you’ve tried one, you’ll never go back,” Walker says. “To hell with Google Maps.” One of the most popular GPS navigation devices, the Garmin nüvi 350, not only gives directions (and speaks street names), but includes a travel guide, an MP3 player, an audio book player, a currency and measurement converter, a world clock and a digital photo organizer. www.garmin.com/products/nuvi

Burma Is Burning


Noble Prize Winner and Legitimate Burmese Prime Minister, Aung San Suu Kyi

Like most places the British formerly conquered, colonized, and eventually retreated from, the country of Burma is extraordinarily fucked up. In 1948, the British empire granted Burma independence. At the time, it was one of the wealthiest countries in the East, rich in natural resources. In 1962, amid economic and political turmoil, the Burmese military, led by Ne Win, seized control of the country in a coup d'état. Rangoon University students staging a peaceful protest against the government were shot down. Such began the military junta government's policy of killing unarmed protesters. That was just one of Ne Win's great accomplishments. Another was changing the denominations of Burmese bills to multiples of 9. He did this, allegedly, because his personal fortune teller told him it would make him live to be 90 (he lived to be 92).

Ne Win's decision destroyed what was left of the Burmese economy. Left with worthless currency, the Burmese people increasingly began to demand democracy. Protests, led by college students and supported by the country's influential monks, spread throughout the country. In 1988, facing a country rife with poverty and simmering in discontent, Ne Win "retired." But just as the Burmese people began to hope for democracy, a new military junta was installed (widely believed to be influenced by Ne Win), under the leadership of General Saw Maung. He crushed the pro-democracy demonstrators, killing more than 3,000 people in what came to be known as the Four Eights Uprising.

Saw Maung continued to lead Burma into isolation from the rest of the world, and continued Ne Win's policy of ruling with an iron fist and itchy trigger finger. He created the State Law and Order Restoration Council (now called the State Peace and Development Council), an Orwellian body dedicated to torturing, killing or imprisoning anyone deemed to be against the dictatorship. He also changed the name of Burma to Myanmar, a change not recognized by the United States and U.K.

In 1990, bowing to international pressure, Myanmar held free elections for the first time in 30 years. The National League For Democracy won nearly 59% of the vote. The military-supported National Unity Party won 21 percent. Refusing to relinquish power, the military junta declared the election invalid, and placed the democracy party's leader (and elected prime minister) Aung San Suu Kyi, under house arrest. Aung San was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1990 recognizing her struggle for Burmese civil rights, and spent all of the 1.3 million in prize money to aid the health and education of the Burmese people. She remains confined to her home, under heavy guard and without access to the outside world, to this day.

In 1992, Saw Maung resigned (citing health reasons) and Than Shwe took power. Initially thought to be more liberal, he maintained a hardline against democracy efforts. He's best known for spending three times the country's health budget on his daughter's wedding while the country is starving. Last year, the dictatorship moved its capital from Yangon (formerly Rangoon) to a field in the middle of nowhere. The field is in a region known for being difficult for foreign armies to invade. But the cost of moving all the government facilities and military infrastructure to such a remote region nearly bankrupted the country. As a result, on August 15th, 2007, the military junta doubled the price of fuel (which they control). The increase in price for this basic necessity, along with already inflated prices for other basic goods and services, led to the most recent protests. On August 19, 400 people marched against the government, and were quickly pacified. On September 5, three monks were injured when the government cracked down on a peaceful protest in the town of Pakokku. The monks of Pakokku demanded an apology by September 17, which they did not receive. The next day, tens of thousands of monks marched on Burma's major cities. One rally marched past the house of Aung San, where the picture above was taken.

What happened next was...

The last 50 seconds or so of this video is pretty terrifying. That's when the shots ring out:



They kill journalists in Burma:



BBC on Burma:



CNN reports on Burma's brand of police brutality:

Video here.

Burmese villages are disappearing under mysterious circumstances.

Where have all the monks gone?

Is Burma heading towards genocide? Rambo says so.

[UPDATE 10/11:] It's getting worse every day.

Thanks to the BBC, ol' reliable Wikipedia, Global Voices, and all, the, blogs, from, Burma for informing me about a nation, and a tragedy, we Americans don't get to learn a lot about.