Apocalypse Cow


"The Horror... the horror..."

I just realized that my last post was number 666, so in an effort to make this blog less devil-friendly, I decided to post something new.

I've always thought vegetarians are pretty nuts. You may love animals, but guess what. Animals eat meat too. I was just in Central Park this morning and saw a hawk eat a pigeon. Ah, the circle of life.

None of the arguments really swayed me. Even those PETA ads showing the slaughterhouses and stuff. That stuff isn't pleasant, but even lettuce is grown in fields fertilized by poop. E-Coli anyone? Besides, if animals weren't meant to be eaten, they wouldn't taste so good. They'd taste like... tofu.

Then I read this New York Times piece. To me, this is a much better argument against meat-eating than any other one out there. Every tasty burger doesn't only cost a cow's life, but it may be costing us our planet's future. Raising and slaughtering the amount of cattle necessary to fulfill our country's collective cravings for nightly meals at Outback Steakhouse causes catastrophic damage to the ecosystem: far beyond the damage caused by cars, power plants and C. Montgomery Burns's Lil' Lisa's Patented Animal Slurry.

The gist of the piece: If we keep eating meat at this rate, in a few decades our rainforests will be gone, our rivers will flow with cow excrement, and the shit will pile up so fast you'll need wings to stay above it.


"Smells funky in here..."

Now, I don't know if I'll be able to stop eating beef completely. Superbowl is coming up, and something needs to go inside those mini-hotdog buns. But if the rest of you do your part and stay away from the Sizzler, we just may be able to delay the inevitable doom of our planet.