ABC Blames Clinton For 9/11


by Robbie Republican, Guest Blogger

A new movie miniseries produced for ABC contains scenes that depict Clinton administration officials failing to take out Bin Laden, and, surprise, surprise, democrats are getting their panties in a bunch about it.

I hate to state the obvious, but Clinton, ahem, didn't take out Bin Laden. He failed. Just like he failed his marriage when he had oral sex with that Christ-killer.

Now, some people might say, now Robbie. Didn't you say back in 1998 that Clinton was just going after Bin Laden to distract from the Monica Lewinsky scandal? Didn't you tell the American public that Clinton was trying to "wag the dog?" Didn't you urge Republican members of congress to ignore afghanistan and focus on the sex scandal? Didn't you and Republican Senator Dan Coats question Bill Clinton's credibility?

In fact, you might say, isn't it true you didn't think Bin Laden was that big of a threat?

I don't remember. It was a long time ago. What I do remember is this. Bill Clinton invited Bin Laden to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom. Osama stayed three days, on one of them, receiving a massage from Vice President Al Gore. Then Bill let the terrorist leader leave out the front door.

Now, you may say, "hey, I never heard about that." Of course you didn't. The media is owned by liberals.

I keep hearing everyone blaming Bush for 9/11. But Bush only had only been in the presidency for 8 months. That's barely enough time to decorate the oval office. And he was on vacation most of that time. So how could he possibly be expected to pay attention to a report with a title as ambiguous as "Bin Laden Determined to Strike In US"? Sure, the evidence that Bin Laden was behind the USS Cole bombing didn't mount until Clinton was already out of office, but the attack in Yemen happened during Clinton's presidency, not Bush's. Gw couldn't be expected to get revenge for something that happened on Clinton's watch. Come on.

Sure, we haven't taken out Bin Laden either, even with all the info we've learned from torturing people and our extended war on terror. But we're not too worried about him. Osama's not our problem. He's Clinton's. Let Clinton clean up his own mess, I say. We'll go after important targets, like Cat Stevens.

Anyway, I'll be watching ABC's fine piece of propoganda. It's important the TV-viewing public learns all the ways the democrats could have possibly stopped 9/11. Like, they could have used their time travel devices and killed Bin Laden's grandfather. Or they could have dropped some nukes in Kandahar. Or they could have sent Monica to Bin Laden's headquarters to suck some information out of him. The possibilities were endless.

Keep up the good work ABC. And God Bless America. By which I mean white christian people.
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Adam responds: Why is ABC fictionalizing anything? 9/11 wasn't dramatic enough? Thanks Robbie for blogging, but your viewpoint, is, er, a tad biased.