Shmucks For Jesus

Comedian Jackie Mason is suing the religious cult "Jews For Jesus" because they used his name and picture in a brochure attempting to lure people into joining their wacko group.

Apparently, the brochure shows an image of Jackie next to the question, "Jackie Mason, A Jew For Jesus?" Nowhere in the pamphlet does it give the answer--"No."

Needless to say, Mason was a bit taken aback.

"Everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami," the comedian said.

Not surprisingly, the delusional cult doesn't see what the big deal is. So what if they implied a proud Jew is in fact a Jew For Jesus? What's wrong with fudging the religion of someone in order to fool other people into joining a spurious religious order?

"Shame on him for getting so upset about this," said the Christian spokeswom... I mean Jews For Jesus spokeswoman. "We claimed the Dalai Lama was a Jew for Jesus last week and he didn't complain."

(Note, the second part of that quote may have been merely implied.)

In other news, New York City officials responded to yesterday's Adam's Life blog post, urging CBS to drop Survivor: Race War from their schedule.

In a statement, CBS said that while they welcome debate on the issue, they don't give a shit.

"‘Survivor’ is a program that is no stranger to controversy," the statement said. Like, for example, the show had a naked guy on it once.

"It’s much safer to say, ‘No, let’s just stick with things the way they are. Let’s don’t be the network to rock the boat. Let’s not have “Survivor” try something new. But it's about time a reality show stood up to say, fuck this PC bullshit, I wanna see some black people and white people fight," said Johnny Shmobst, stunt double to Survivor host Jeff Probst. "I just don't see why people are offended by splitting people of different races into camps and getting rid of the weaker ones in elimination ceremonies." He also said that this year, instead of at a campfire, those ceremonies will be held in specially designed shower stalls. "It adds to the suspense," Shmobst said. He then laughed crazily, combusted into a fireball and disappeared.