How The Republicans Like To Win
I'm sure there's many good reasons why New Jersey's Governor Christie hates teacher's unions. But its hard to think of any.
It's not that they're overpaid. The pay they receive for the important job they do is terrible.
There's tenure, sure, and that makes them difficult to fire, but tenure exists for a noble reason. The fact is, there are parents out there who really hate facts like science and history, and if a teacher teaches something that is undeniably true but deemed incompatible with certain political or religious beliefs, those parents will seek to get that teacher fired. Schools are supposed to be about teaching facts and critical thinking, so tenure is a way to make sure that politics doesn't put the education of children at risk.
Wait... I think I just answered my own question.
Governor Christie hates tenure so much because it prevents him from replacing unbiased teachers with ones who will brainwash kids into believing that the Republican party is the one favored by God.
I suppose that's a reasonable goal... except it's not. But no matter. I'm sure Governor Christie believes in having a fair debate on the subject, hearing from both sides of the issue, and using facts to bolster his side of the argument.
Except he doesn't.
Because he's a Republican. And Republicans don't use things like facts to sway Americans. They use the politics of personal destruction.
Like this:
Hero teacher's life destroyed.
Because its not good enough to make reasonable appeals for education reform. Republicans don't like to win by making a solid argument. They like to win by bullying people, destroying lives, ripping people to shreds.
Even heroes.
If Superman was a Democrat, the Republicans would push for Kryptonite to be added to the water supply.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
An In-Depth Analysis Of Why Prop 19, To Legalize Weed In California, Failed
-From The Simpsons, "Weekend At Burnsie's," Season 13, Episode 18.
A protest rally is being held. The band Phish appear and play the first couple of lines from "Run Like An Antelope". They suddenly stop for something.
SINGER
Okay, okay, hold on, hold on. (sniffing the air) I smell marijuana smoke. That better be medicinal.
PIANIST
If Phish don't see a prescription slip, we are outa here!
DRUMMER
We can wait all night, people.
Hans Moleman (wearing a psychedelic T-shirt) holds up his prescription slip.
DRUMMER
Here we go. (reads it) Whoa. This guy is seriously ill.
HANS MOLEMAN
My doctor never told me that. I had to hear it from Phish.
SINGER
A-one, a-two, a-you know what to do.
They continue with their song. A little while later, they incorporate the Simpsons theme tune into their set.
PIANIST
Thank you! And now, a man who's a real po-thead... I'm sorry, pot-head... Homer Simpson!
HOMER
Good afternoon. I wanna thank you all for coming down here, taking time off from your jobs... (crowd all mutter "Jobs?") Cause we need to keep medical marijuana legal! (crowd cheer) Whether you suffer from glaucoma, or you just rented The Matrix, medical marijuana can make things fabulous! ...medically. (crowd cheer) So my mellow fellow citizens, when you go into that voting booth on Tuesday the 7th...
GUITARIST
Uh, Homer... that was yesterday.
Homer goes to a newspaper-dispenser and buys a newspaper.
HOMER
Oh man, they already voted! And we lost! (crowd groan) Oh man I can't believe we spaced on the date!
OTTO
Well, what are we gonna do?
HOMER
Well we can't just stand here staring at our hands. Although... (looks at hands) Wow!
OTTO
(sees ring on finger) Whoa! Oh, that's right, I married that chick.
Everyone leaves. That night, Homer and Otto are still on the stage.
OTTO
They call 'em fingers, but I never see them 'fing'. Oh, there they go.
-From The Simpsons, "Weekend At Burnsie's," Season 13, Episode 18.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Overmanaging Cost The Yankees Game 4
That's right folks. By calling for an intentional walk with two outs, Yankees Manager Joe Girardi REDUCED the chances of the Yankees winning the game. He called for the walk despite the fact that A.J. Freaking Burnett was on the mound, and the less runners on, the better.
Girardi was playing a game called "matchups," a game which pretends that righty batters always can't hit righty pitchers, and left-handed batters always hit right handed pitchers. In "matchup" world, David Murphy will always get a hit against Burnett, and Molina never will.
Murphy does hit better against right-handers, but A.J., on average, has the same success vs. righties and lefties. Let's say, worst case scenario, Murphy does go yard. It's only a two run shot.
You put Murphy on, and according to Win Expectancy, and all other metrics, you increase the chances of three runs coming in. But Girardi called for the walk. You could tell A.J. was pissed. He nearly threw one of the intentional balls away.
How'd that work out?
The next inning, also in match-up land, Girardi decided lefty Boone Logan was a far superior pitcher than Kerry Wood or Joba Chamberlain, at least against the lefty Josh Hamilton. Now, Hamilton batted .404 against righties this year. and .271 against lefties. But Boone Logan has a career 5.10 ERA.
How'd that work out?
This is the playoffs. The fewer runners on base, the better. You play only your best pitchers with the game on the line. This should be common sense. In the real world, it is.
In that world of matchups though, it isn't. Too bad this game happened in the real world.
Let's hope that now, with the ALCS on the line, Joe Girardi will make decisions that help his team, rather than hurt them. A 1.7% reduction in the chances of winning a game doesn't seem like much, but in the playoffs, every little bit counts. In this case, it set the Yankees up for disaster.
WE (win expectancy): The percent chance a particular team will win based on the score, inning, outs, runners on base, and the run environment.
That's right folks. By calling for an intentional walk with two outs, Yankees Manager Joe Girardi REDUCED the chances of the Yankees winning the game. He called for the walk despite the fact that A.J. Freaking Burnett was on the mound, and the less runners on, the better.
Girardi was playing a game called "matchups," a game which pretends that righty batters always can't hit righty pitchers, and left-handed batters always hit right handed pitchers. In "matchup" world, David Murphy will always get a hit against Burnett, and Molina never will.
Murphy does hit better against right-handers, but A.J., on average, has the same success vs. righties and lefties. Let's say, worst case scenario, Murphy does go yard. It's only a two run shot.
You put Murphy on, and according to Win Expectancy, and all other metrics, you increase the chances of three runs coming in. But Girardi called for the walk. You could tell A.J. was pissed. He nearly threw one of the intentional balls away.
How'd that work out?
The next inning, also in match-up land, Girardi decided lefty Boone Logan was a far superior pitcher than Kerry Wood or Joba Chamberlain, at least against the lefty Josh Hamilton. Now, Hamilton batted .404 against righties this year. and .271 against lefties. But Boone Logan has a career 5.10 ERA.
How'd that work out?
This is the playoffs. The fewer runners on base, the better. You play only your best pitchers with the game on the line. This should be common sense. In the real world, it is.
In that world of matchups though, it isn't. Too bad this game happened in the real world.
Let's hope that now, with the ALCS on the line, Joe Girardi will make decisions that help his team, rather than hurt them. A 1.7% reduction in the chances of winning a game doesn't seem like much, but in the playoffs, every little bit counts. In this case, it set the Yankees up for disaster.
Friday, October 15, 2010
I Won't Be Going To The World Series This Year
The pre-onsale for Yankees World Series tickets began today at 1:00. I refreshed my browser every second from 12:59 until the tickets page popped up. Immediately, I went for bleachers, Game 5. 1 minute waiting time. Sorry, no tickets available.
Next, bleachers, Game 4. 2 minute waiting time. Sorry, no tickets available.
At the same time, my cousin searched too. We abandoned hope of finding two tickets together. We just wanted one ticket. Any ticket. I had two browsers open on my desktop, and a Ticketmaster window open on my iPhone too.
Eventually, we just went for Best Available. $456 dollar seats be damned.
Sorry, no tickets available.
It was then I learned that there had been a "Preliminary Pre-Onsale," earlier, at 10 AM, for some undefined group of eligible ticket licensees.
I hate them all.
My cousin and I did find some seats available. Wheelchair seats reserved for the disabled.
"Just break my back with a baseball bat," my cousin suggested.
What followed was a 20 minute conversation on the different ways we could take advantage of having a wheelchair ticket. "Actually using them would be wrong," I concluded. "But we could buy them and sell them for profit someplace where people in wheelchairs hang out. Like a VFW hall..."
In the end, morality and human decency prevailed. But my cousin said it best:
The pre-onsale for Yankees World Series tickets began today at 1:00. I refreshed my browser every second from 12:59 until the tickets page popped up. Immediately, I went for bleachers, Game 5. 1 minute waiting time. Sorry, no tickets available.
Next, bleachers, Game 4. 2 minute waiting time. Sorry, no tickets available.
At the same time, my cousin searched too. We abandoned hope of finding two tickets together. We just wanted one ticket. Any ticket. I had two browsers open on my desktop, and a Ticketmaster window open on my iPhone too.
Eventually, we just went for Best Available. $456 dollar seats be damned.
Sorry, no tickets available.
It was then I learned that there had been a "Preliminary Pre-Onsale," earlier, at 10 AM, for some undefined group of eligible ticket licensees.
I hate them all.
My cousin and I did find some seats available. Wheelchair seats reserved for the disabled.
"Just break my back with a baseball bat," my cousin suggested.
What followed was a 20 minute conversation on the different ways we could take advantage of having a wheelchair ticket. "Actually using them would be wrong," I concluded. "But we could buy them and sell them for profit someplace where people in wheelchairs hang out. Like a VFW hall..."
In the end, morality and human decency prevailed. But my cousin said it best:
"Even though i wasn't seriously considering it, I'm sure that at least 20 other people had the same convo today... and I bet some bought them."
Thursday, October 07, 2010
A Few Words On Branding
It's incredibly difficult to build a brand. For every Apple, Nike, and Coca-Cola, there's a million different failures that never attracted consumer recognition and loyalty. So its bizarre to find that in a bad economy, when every industry is struggling, established brands are spending millions of dollars to trash their brands and destroy their iconic symbols.
Take the Gap, which changed from their iconic blue box to... well, this universally-panned monstrosity:
Already, Gap has been forced to pretend this was all part of some social media experiment. Actually, Gap paid millions to a "creative agency" (which, ironically, touts the old logo on its website.)
We've seen this type of thing before. Remember when Tropicana lost its mind?
Yes, This Is More Generic!
Now, I know business is down these days. So I'm going to save the corporations of America a lot of money. Instead of these businesses needing to pay consulting firms and market research teams millions of dollars to redesign their beloved, iconic logos into horsetrash... I mean, "dynamic research driven graphic design paradigms," I'm going to perform this service for free. Eat your heart out Laird and Partners...
It's incredibly difficult to build a brand. For every Apple, Nike, and Coca-Cola, there's a million different failures that never attracted consumer recognition and loyalty. So its bizarre to find that in a bad economy, when every industry is struggling, established brands are spending millions of dollars to trash their brands and destroy their iconic symbols.
Take the Gap, which changed from their iconic blue box to... well, this universally-panned monstrosity:
Already, Gap has been forced to pretend this was all part of some social media experiment. Actually, Gap paid millions to a "creative agency" (which, ironically, touts the old logo on its website.)
We've seen this type of thing before. Remember when Tropicana lost its mind?
Yes, This Is More Generic!
Now, I know business is down these days. So I'm going to save the corporations of America a lot of money. Instead of these businesses needing to pay consulting firms and market research teams millions of dollars to redesign their beloved, iconic logos into horsetrash... I mean, "dynamic research driven graphic design paradigms," I'm going to perform this service for free. Eat your heart out Laird and Partners...
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