On this blog from time to time I’ve featured some "interesting" apartments I found on StreetEasy. There was the apartment with
the shower bigger than the rest of the apartment; there was the place virtually staged to look like
the scene of a cult suicide; and of course, who could forget the apartment that
came with a giant hairy spider in the bathroom? This one, however, might be the wildest because it features a mystery room where, you can totally trust us, nobody is hiding in the dark watching you, we promise.
Seriously, look at this:
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| Low monthlies, prime amenities... what’s the catch? |
This room at
the Lombardy Hotel (not to be confused with Vince Lombardi, of NFL fame) is the “perfect pied-a-terre and investment property,” a hotel room you can own for use as your private sex pad or rent out—by the night, presumably—for some passive income. The maintenance fee is high but that includes electric and cable (not specified: free pay per view?) and housekeeping service twice a day, plus a fitness center, on-site salon and concierge. It’s a studio, and has all the charm of a state highway Best Western, but the price is right for the neighborhood and it’s got a walk-in closet—most New Yorkers would dream of that—complete with a hotel safe:
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| How many apartments come with a robe and slippers? |
But then... upon closer glance at the floorplan, an oddity:
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| There’s only one way in or out. |
There's a... mystery room. Okay, sure, it’s a hotel. It’s not your typical apartment. Housekeeping comes twice a day after all... Maybe this is where they keep the clean towels? But my mind gets wondering.
Do I have the choice to not
let housekeeping into my room? Can I go green? Maybe it’s something mechanical behind that door? Just some pipes or circuit breakers? Or maybe...
Then I see the pictures:
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| Looks clean modern, nice bookshelves... hey wait. |
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| That is a door. |
That, for the visually challenged, is a door entirely blocked by bookshelves, full of books. On the bottom shelf, there’s even a vase and what looks like it could be a Pinewood Derby trophy.
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| I won one year.. I think. |
This is where I seriously start to wonder. If the maids or maintenance needed to access the room, the door wouldn't be so covered up, right? Do they clear the shelves and move them every time they need to get in? Doesn't that put the vase at risk?
What is inside this mystery room that is so conveniently located between the shower and the bed? Can building folks just enter through the apartment to hang out in the room whenever they want? Is there a secret entrance to the room that's not on the floorpan? I WANT TO KNOW!
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| Mr. Lombardy takes a "passionate interest" in his guests. |
All kidding aside, I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation why this mystery room exists and why the owner of the apartment must never ever go inside, no matter what sounds are coming from in there.
After all, it's not like whomever built the building would have had any motivation for spying on hotel guests to find out and reveal their most scandalous secrets. Who built this hotel anyways?
Hmm.
Still a pretty good deal for $499,000.
