Someone Explain Why Anyone Should Care About Hillary's Emails

We're 11 days away from an election that could determine the course of the United States, and the world, for decades to come. In one corner, we have the chosen candidate of white supremacists everywhere, a man who has admitted to sexual assault, a man who has conned hundreds of people out of their hard-earned money, a man who has never done one act of public service in his entire life. In the other corner, you have a career politician who OMG EMAILS EMAILS EMAILS!!!!!

EMAILS EMAILS EMAILS!!! WOWSERS!  OH NO!!! #$%@^!!!!

Honestly, why is this even an issue? You have one reason to not vote for Hillary: you are a Republican when it comes to social issues, and you want abortion banned, the gays back in the closet, and the minorities to shut up. This is not debatable, because it is literally all Trump brings to the table. If you want a Supreme Court packed with Scalias, Trump is your man. In fact, if you're not particularly bigoted or racist, you have a pretty compelling argument to vote for Hillary.

So why would EMAILS EMAILS EMAILs cause you to say, "Fuck Hillary, I'm a Trump guy?"

More of Hillary's emails have been read, studied, picked apart and agonized over than the works of Shakespeare. There is no person on Earth who can claim to have released more emails to the public than her. George W. Bush, who suspended civil liberties, rewrote the constitution, slept through 9/11 and embroiled us in two costly wars-- well, he "lost" 22,000,000 emails. We will never see them. They were on the private server of the Republican National Committee.

Despite this unprecedented scrutiny, this magnifying glass over every quip from a low-level Democratic party campaign worker... literally NOTHING illegal has been found. NO emails of her plotting to kill Americans in Benghazi. NO emails of her sharing Monica Lewinsky nude pics. NO emails of her promising Iran she'll give them nukes as soon as she's elected. NOTHING. NADA. ZILTCH.

The FBI, the RNC, Wikileaks, the press, Russia, even the right wing conspiracy media... not one of these entities has found any email that surprises and shocks us. Oh, politicians are calculating? They try and speak out of both sides of their mouth? Their staff can get petty and catty? OH MY GOD!!!!! TELL ME something I don't know.

It's within your rights to be sick of politicians. But lets not pretend these things are great crimes. Let's not pretend they're worse... or even equivalent... to the very real crimes Donald Trump has been getting away with for years-- things that have been proven in a court of law and recorded on videotape. Let's not pretend that being a politician is worse than inviting a white supremacist to help run your campaign.

Did Hillary erase emails in which she discussed taking bribes from the Saudis? The Republicans would say, "YOU BET!" But there's no evidence of this. It's all speculation. Hillary could have erased an email revealing she's really Emperor Zod of the Planet Kylophon, here to enslave the earth and steal the world's reserves of Beanie Babies. That email MIGHT EXIST!!! But it doesn't, and that line of thinking should also have you wondering what things might exist in Trump's email, right? After all, we don't have any of his messages. Not one. We don't even have his tax returns.

Was Hillary careless with classified information? Well, it depends whether you think the state department email system, WHICH WAS HACKED, is safer than Hillary's own email system, which is apparently so secure that no one can find her Emperor Zod emails. It also depends whether you give a damn if she accidentally revealed that a general's favorite soup is split pea, which is the kind of ticky-tacky shit the government slaps "CLASSIFIED" on ever since the Bush administration.

All of this hand-wringing, all of this "HILLARY BELONGS IN JAIL!" bullshit... WHY? Every single telescope, microscope and endoscope has been focused on her for close to 30 years... and nobody has found absolutely anything to imprison her for! What's the charge? What's the evidence? And... WHY DOES IT MATTER?

Imagine someone pitched a movie with Hillary as the villian: "You see, the bad guy, she's this woman who, well, she used her own email server. And MI-6 has to send James Bond to take her down." This is not compelling stuff.

By all means, if you have ideological differences with the Democratic Party, vote Republican. I'll point out that Trump is not a Republican, and you should worry about him destroying your party, but at least I'll understand why you're voting the way you are.

But if you're a so-called fence-sitting independent? Can you really not tell the difference here?

Trump Proud That He Didn't Mention Bill's Infidelity

While most Americans believe Hillary Clinton won last night's debate by speaking in complete sentences and not just mixing together random words with coke/amphetamine/terminal-illness sniffles, Trump and his good friend Sean Hannity have pointed out otherwise. While Hillary was a big bad meanie--insisting that The Donald's shady, sometimes racist business practices, multiple bankruptcies, demeaning comments about women and dangerous comments about our allies abroad were somehow relevant to his qualifications for the presidency--Trump himself showed "enormous restraint," a quality Americans are looking for in a President:

"I was going to say something extremely rough to Hillary, to her family, and I said to myself I can't do it. I just can't do it. It's inappropriate, it's not nice."

After restraining himself for several minutes, Trump let it all out with reporters immediately after leaving the stage:

Trump: "I'm very happy that I was able to hold back" on Bill Clinton's "indiscretions" https://t.co/iXIwDaIPem https://t.co/LKaHt4NI6b

— CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) September 27, 2016

How Bill Clinton's affairs relate to Hillary's abilities to be President, the twice-divorced Republican nominee who admitted to cheating on his first wife didn't say.

They Were Terrorists

Ahmad Rahami & Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over— like a syrupy sweet? 

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.  

Or does it explode? 

          --Langston Hughes

 We expect our terrorists to come from overseas. They are not American, they can't be.

(We forget about Timothy McVeigh and Eric Rudolph and we call Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold and Dylann Roof and James Holmes by different labels entirely. )

They are not American, they can't be.

Which is why our leaders say these (brown and Muslim) killers don't deserve their constitutional rights. The right to remain silent, the right to a lawyer and a fair trial, the right to not be tortured-- these are rights of Americans--the murderers and rapists and thieves among us. But they are not American, these (brown and Muslim) killers. They can't be.

They came here like so many of our (white, not Muslim) grandparents and great grandparents did, escaping places with no constitutional rights to become citizens of the United States. They became mechanics, opened hair salons. They were high school wrestling captains and Olympic hopefuls. They were restaurant owners and obsessed with auto racing.

Except they weren't like us.

The Tsarnaev family was a neighborhood nuisance, said Rinat Harel, a longtime neighbor. She and other neighbors called police five years ago when the two brothers would hold loud parties and drink late into the night in the courtyard. 

The brothers were “just obnoxious teenage boys,” Harel said, but the father, a short, beefy fellow, was a constant irritant who regularly threw his trash in neighbors’ recycling bins despite being asked to stop, filled precious spaces in this parking-starved city with cars he was working on, and claimed a 10-minute loading zone as his all-day storage space.

 Except they weren't like us.

The Rahami family’s chicken restaurant had its own tense relationship with the community, though it drew a horde of loyal patrons who appreciated their cheese fries and friendly service. 

At first, the restaurant was open 24 hours a day and became a local nuisance, said J. Christian Bollwage, the mayor of Elizabeth and a neighbor. Rowdy crowds appeared after midnight. Dean McDermott, who lives nearby and is a news videographer, complained, as did others. Often Mr. McDermott discovered patrons loitering in his yard and urinating in his driveway, and he called the police.

Except they weren't like us.

Even as members of their extended family found their piece of the American dream, the Cambridge Tsarnaevs’ experience in their new land curdled. Money grew scarce, and the family went on welfare. Zubeidat was accused of stealing from a department store. Anzor’s business, never prosperous, faded.

 Except they weren't like us.

In response to the persistent complaints, the mayor said that the Elizabeth City Council passed an ordinance compelling the chicken restaurant to close at 10 p.m. But the Rahamis flouted the order and neighbors continued to summon the police. Mr. McDermott said that once when officers responded, one of Mr. Rahami’s older brothers got into a fight with a police officer and was arrested. Before the case was resolved, Mr. McDermott said the brother fled to Afghanistan. 

Mr. McDermott said a fragile truce was reached, whereby the restaurant would close at midnight or 1 a.m. A few months ago, however, a for-sale sign appeared on the front.

 Except they weren't like us.

The mother found solace in a deepening religiosity, the father, icy to such devotion and ill with cancer, went home to Dagestan, a place that was never really home to start with. And the boys underwent transformations so dramatic that some friends could barely recognize them.

Except they weren't like us.

Mr. McDermott said that in the lawsuit the elder Mr. Rahimi claimed that he had been discriminated against because of his race and ethnicity. The mayor said: “It was neighbor complaints; it had nothing to do with his ethnicity or religion."

It had nothing to do with his ethnicity or religion (brown, Muslim). It was neighbor complaints.

A neighborhood nuisance. Loud parties and drink late into the night. Obnoxious. A constant irritant. Tense relationship. A local nuisance. Rowdy crowds appeared after midnight. Loitering. Urinating.

Money grew scarce, and the family went on welfare. Accused of stealing.

Got into a fight with a police officer and was arrested. A few months ago, however, a for-sale sign appeared on the front.

"It was neighbor complaints; it had nothing to do with his ethnicity or religion."

Is it only coincidence then? Two families from overseas (we expect our terrorists to come from overseas), pursuing the American dream, like so many of our grandparents and great grandparents did (except they weren't like us), becoming citizens, becoming our neighbors, only to find they weren't citizens, they weren't our neighbors. They were "neighborhood complaints."

They weren't Americans. That could never be.

They went back to the places their families had escaped from. They found solace in a deepening religiosity. Underwent transformations so dramatic that some friends could barely recognize them. Then they returned. Were they who we expected all along? Or did something happen along the way? Did we ever treat them like a neighbor, not a neighborhood complaint?

What happens to a dream deferred?

Dishonest Media Afraid of Trump's Unlimited Power

 

By Robbie Republican

In my lifetime, I can't recall there ever being a clearer choice for President of the United States. In times like these, when everything we love is under assault from immigrants and Islamists, and the gays and commies are teaching our children about anal sex and the "sharing economy," are we so fallen as a people to consider handing our nuclear arsenal to a woman who, at best, hands out classified information like free samples at Costco, and, at worst, has murdered at least two people while laughing maniacally at rape victims?

It's especially baffling when you consider that the Republican nominee is Donald Trump, a successful  and respected businessman who has sacrificed so much for America and dedicated his life to building this country, brick by brick. But ever since he expressed a desire to stop murderers and rapists from treating this country like their own personal blood orgy, the liberal media has organized a coordinated campaign to tar and feather him. Republicans are used to being compared to Hitler... it's practically a libtard pastime. But this... I've never seen anything like this.

For example, Trump retweets an image, clearly depicting Hillary as being both a crook and a slave to Wall Street. The liberal media goes out of its way to say it's actually anti-semitic, because the person who made the image just happens to be a neo nazi and the star happens to look like a Jewish star. And when Trump explains that no, the image created by the neo nazi isn't anti-semitic, and the star is just a sherrif's star, the liberal media says he's lying.

Then, Trump is savagely, brutally, violently attacked by a Muslim extremist, and what does the liberal media do? They accuse Trump of being a bigot for gently pointing out gender inequalities in the Muslim world.

Trump reaches out to a young mother and her baby, and arranges for them to be escorted from his loud rally to a quieter room, presumably so the young mother can nurse and the baby can sleep? Suddenly, Trump hates babies.

This week? A new low. Trump points out that if 2nd Amendment supporters unite and use their political power against Hillary Clinton, she won't be able to steal our guns. What does the media report? That Trump ordered Hillary's assassination.

It's unreal. At this point, Trump could cure cancer and the liberal media would claim he put pharmaceutical companies out of business. And yes, Trump could cure cancer, believe me.

What is the media so afraid of? You'd think that because Trump once had a hit show on NBC, he'd be welcomed. But in fact, that's exactly the source of the media's fear.

You see, NBC cancelled Trump. They tried to silence his voice. If Trump wins the White House, he'll be on every television in America, 7 days a week. His voice will be impossible to silence. His presence will be everywhere. He cannot be ignored.

Just imagine. Trump's brilliance, his eloquence, his visage of Aryan beauty, on display in your home, at all times. Every moment of every day, filled with his wisdom, from 140 characters, to long, wide-ranging inspirational speeches on every topic under the sun. The liberals will be unable to turn him off, unable to shut him down. He will be where he belongs-- in your face, in mine. His voice will wake our children up in the morning and put them to sleep at night. There will never be a second when the values he represents and the policies he has so lovingly crafted will be far from our hearts and minds.

One State of the Union address a year? Ha! How about one a day?

Right now, the liberal media controls the message, but that will be impossible once Trump has the ear of the world. Impressed by him now? Just wait until he has the full backing of our military and financial might. He's proven he knows how to build an empire and keep it going, no matter what lies the media tell. NBC will rue the day they cancelled The Apprentice, but for Trump, that fateful turning point will be seen as the moment a great man became even greater. Why settle for one night a week, when this man... this god among men... can be our everyday beacon of hope?

Trump on your TV. Trump on your computer screen. Trump on your smartphone. Trump on your car radio, on your in-flight entertainment, on the Jumbotron at ballgames. Trump 24-7, a constant stream of this conservative icon and Republican stalwart, espousing everything that is wrong about America and how he, Donald Trump, can fix it. His soothing voice with its musical lilt, entering your mind throughout the day, transforming your whole being into a kind of Trump antenna, tuned to receive the solutions to everyday problems that only Trump, in his infinite wisdom alone, can provide. He will be there always, looking over your shoulder, watching out for you. Like a big brother would.

Plus, we will probably see a lot more of Ivanka too. And you can't tell me you're not interested in that, right guys?

The media will try their best to silence him, to quote him in context and out of context until your head spins. But if you can't get enough of Trump--and I don't know who can--make your voice heard this November. Because the liberals want to change the program. Trump? He cares about making America great again.

That's what should dominate the ratings, for next four, eight, who knows how many years? Our children will thank us for it.




[Note from Adam: Views of Robbie Republican do not reflect my own... ;)]

Trump's Word Games

"Hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish, the Second Amendment. And by the way, if she gets to pick her judges: Nothing you can do, folks. Although, the Second Amendment people, maybe there is."

Trump said these words. They're on video, as you can see here below:

Trump: If Clinton picks judges, "nothing you can do, folks -- although the 2nd Amendment people, maybe there is." https://t.co/7oFn4JE2D8

— NBC Nightly News (@NBCNightlyNews) August 9, 2016

What did Trump mean? Well, to us regular folk, it seems pretty clear that Trump was saying that if Hillary is elected, she will ban guns, and in that case, there will be nothing anyone can do... except for gun owners. What can those gun owners do after Hillary is elected that no one else can? Trump doesn't quite spell it out. But gun owners possess something that non-gun owners don't. What is that?

Well, according to a Trump statement:

That's right... gun owners have "the power of unification." In the event of a Hillary Clinton election, this "power of unification" will prevent her from naming judges that will take guns out of the hands of the mentally ill and criminally inclined. 

He totes mcgoats wasn't suggesting that anyone shoot her. Gosh, dishonest media, where would anyone get that idea?

The uncomfortable laughter heard in the video above makes it clear that if this is what Trump meant, those in attendance sure didn't know it.