Airline To Offer "Weep Warnings" To Passengers

Virgin Atlantic airlines announced today that they will flash "weep warnings" before the beginning of emotional films shown aboard their flights.

I could have used that before watching "Up" on one flight. I had to hide my tears from the hot chick next to me, and it wasn't easy.



Dammit, just cried again now watching this clip.

Thank you, Virgin Atlantic, for looking out for my tear ducts!

Of course, the weep warning system isn't quite perfected yet:

"The movies "Water For Elephants" and "Just Go With It" will be the first films to carry the warnings."

"Just Go With It?" Well, according to the reviews, I guess there's a chance you'll cry over the state of Adam Sandler's career.

So I Guess That's The End Of The Mile-High Club?

The FAA has ordered all airlines to disable emergency oxygen masks in airplane bathrooms, for fear that terrorists may use the oxygen to ignite a fire.

This means that every time you go to the bathroom on a flight from now on, you'll be risking your life if the plane decompresses.

So add emergency lifesaving equipment to the list of things the FAA has made us safe from, which includes shampoo bottles larger than three ounces and nail clippers.

Unfortunately, the FAA has done nothing to prevent the obvious terrorist threat posed by obnoxious kids that kick your seat.