Monk Love



The New York Times has an interesting article about two Buddhist Americans, Michael Roach and Christie McNally, who have vowed never to separate by more than 15 feet. And... they're celibate.

"[Michael] is a good guy and learned person, but the Bill Clinton question lingers over him," said Lama Surya Das, an American Buddhist who studied in Tibet and wrote “Awakening the Buddha Within." "He is with a much younger blond bombshell. What is a deep relationship that is not sexual? It is hard to understand."

Hmm. "What is a deep relationship that is not sexual?" Sounds like Lama Das is one horny bastard.

Of course, it is a bit hard to understand how going against one's biological imperative is spiritual. Especially since following such a course would... you know... sort of bring about the end to one's lineage. And if we can't have kids to thrust our strange beliefs on, then who will lead our cult spiritual revolution once we go off to that big yurt in the sky?

After all, celibacy was not exactly a big draw for the Shakers.

Why would a religion include a mandate to promote the eventual extinction of the human race? Because that's what would happen if everyone suddenly went celibate. Didn't anyone see Children of Men?!?!


No kids? Shakers wish.

But I do think Michael and Christie are on to something. They've built a relationship out of mutual respect and genuine care for one another. They watch out for each other, and they're there for each other, all of the time. Maybe if we focused a little less on sex and just a bit more on that other stuff, then we wouldn't all be divorcing each other, cheating with hookers and hiring hit men to off our significant others. After all, if these two could stay together after sleeping in a smelly yurt night after night, then isn't there hope for Eliot and Silda Spitzer?

Perhaps those two should consider the 15 feet rule.

Free Tibet, Boycott Beijing!


Tibet, The Underarm Stain Of China

Oh those wacky monks! Just when you thought Burma had successfully silenced monk-related protests in the Far East, monks in Tibet have decided join in on the protesting hijinx, raising their voices against Chinese oppression, just in time for this year's Olympic games in Beijing.

And the Chinese ain't too happy about such monk-y business.

"This has all the more revealed that the consistent claims made by the Dalai clique that they pursue not independence but peaceful dialogue are nothing but lies," said Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao. "By staging that incident they want to undermine the Beijing Olympics Games, and they also try to serve their hidden agenda by inciting such incidents."

The Dalai Lama, for his part, urged his followers to resist peacefully, and threatened to step down as exiled head-of-state if Tibetans were actually guilty of violent actions.

BBC has some eyewitness accounts from Lhasa.

The Chinese crackdown on the monks has led some to call for a boycott of the Olympics. The last time a country boycotted the Olympics was in 1984, when the Russians boycotted the Los Angeles games in retaliation for the U.S. boycotting the 1980 Moscow ones. No one wants a boycott; it ends up punishing the athletes more than in punishes the targeted government. But I read an article today that led me to believe that the current situation in China may call for our American athletes to stay home:

China doesn't have enough toilet seats.

It's one thing to have an oppressive government that attacks unarmed, robed men. It's quite another to force world-class athletes to squat in order to perform their duty. Do the Chinese have no souls?

Richard Gere was right, dammit. Those Chinese are evil.


Richard Gere Saves Woman From Drowning In Toilet

In this context, the monks' protest makes a whole lot of sense. How happy can you be with an occupying regime that denies your basic human right to defecate comfortably?

So I say to China: Free Tibet. And give free toilet seats to everyone. Otherwise, the athletes of the world will do their business at home.