A More Healthy Nation



By Robbie Republican, guest blogger

My fellow patriots. We find ourselves at a pivotal moment of American history. When good men are called upon to fight a menace to our society far greater than the war machines of Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden. I'm talking, of course, about the battle against Barack Hussein Obama's communist health care plan.

As you've probably heard, Obama's plan will euthanize anyone over the age of 65. American citizens will be forced to donate their organs to Mexican immigrants. In addition, small children will be taken from their mothers and raised in a secret Democratic party brainwashing camp, where they will be taught to marry members of the same sex and worship Al Gore.

Well, I for one won't stand for it. And I'm not alone. As Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) recently said about the health care bill, "This cannot pass... What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists..."

That's right. Slit our wrists. Because that's how badly we need to sink this health care bill. Sure, the few without health insurance will die because of undiagnosed hemophilia, and be forced to pay for their hospital stays in full, but it'll be worth it to prove to those fat cats in Washington just how committed we are to making sure no one gets free health care.

Because right now, as Bachman so eloquently puts it, Obama and the Democrats are "reaching down the throat and ripping the guts out of freedom." By giving Americans the option of signing up for free health care, they hope to abolish the legislative branch and install Obama as "Lord and Emperor Almighty, Eternal Leader of the Democratic States of Ameristan." It's a clumsy title, I know, but I didn't come up with it, the commies did.

Just imagine a world in which the Democrats' health care plan passes. The tortures Nazi Pelosi has dreamed up cause my skin to crawl (small children may want to leave the room).

Pelosi says that under Obama's bill, millions of uninsured Americans will suddenly become eligible for something she calls a "checkup." According to my research, it would go something like this: Unfortunate Americans would be required to divulge their entire life history on several forms. Then, they'd be held in a windowless room with nothing more than Readers' Digest magazines from 1998. Upon their name being called, they'd be forced to empty their bladder into a tiny plastic cup, which the torturers would collect for further study. They would then be transferred to a small room where they would be forced to disrobe and sit on a hard slab table covered in tissue paper.

Then the torture would really begin. Popsicle sticks shoved down their throats and bright lights inserted into their ear canals. Their knees will be beaten with rubber mallets, just for kicks. Then these pour souls will be probed with a cold metal torture device called a "Stethoscope," and be forced to cough on command. Finally, in an act of pure malice, their arms will be stabbed and their blood will be collected, presumably to feed the new "Vampire-Homo hybrids" Democrat scientists have invented. Fruits with fangs? That's where the rainbow of health care leads.

I know, I know. I'm shaking with fear too. But when something makes us afraid, we can't shrink back and let it win. We have to stand and fight. And if the other side has more supporters, and more evidence backing them up, well then we have to fight dirty. Even if it means lying about the thing we fear, so other people will begin to fear it too, and join us in our battle.

So spread the lies, true Americans. Say Obama's plan calls for hydrochloric acid to be included in school lunches. Tell your neighbor about Obama's plan to steal guide dogs from blind people. Send an email blast out to your coworkers about Pelosi's proposal to add a hammer and sickle to the American flag. Remember... once its on the internet, it's true.

It's what any good, honest, God-fearing American should do.

Until next time patriots, stay healthy, especially if you're uninsured. And God bless you.

Stop The Madness


Stop Comparing The First Black President To Hitler, Please

Nazi Health Care Plan: Unless you're white, blonde haired, blue eyed and Christian, you're sent to a death camp, where you'll be told to take a shower. The shower will actually be toxic gas. You will be killed.

Obama's Health Care Plan: If you have health insurance, good for you. If you don't have health insurance, you'll be covered by the government's health insurance plan, which is good enough for most of the world's developed countries.

Now, these health care plans don't seem too similar. One involves Zyklon B and Nazi soldiers forcing emaciated Jews to dig trenches for their own soon-to-be-shot bodies. The other makes sure that if you get sick, you can be treated at a hospital and not worry about medical bills forcing you into bankruptcy. One aims to clear Europe of 10 million people... the other aims to provide free health care to 50 million people currently too poor to afford annual checkups. We're not exactly comparing apples to apples here, or even apples to oranges. This is more like apples to ostriches.

Yet, Obama's health care plan has resulted in this reaction:

Woman yells "Zeig Heil!" at Obama Heath Care supporter:


And this...



And this...


Courtesy of Glenn Beck

And this...

"This notion is fully in the spirit of the partisans of efficiency but came from a program instituted in Hitler's Germany called Aktion T-4. Under this program, elderly people with incurable diseases, young children who were critically disabled, and others who were deemed non-productive, were euthanized. This was the Nazi version of efficiency, a pitiless expulsion of the "unproductive" members of society in the most expeditious way possible."

And finally, this...



Look, I realize "liberals" got carried away too, when Bush was in charge. I'm pretty sure more than a few Nazi references were thrown towards the Patriot Act and Guantanamo Bay. But in those cases, we were talking about the government creating secret "camps" where people of a certain religion were being sent without trial to be tortured, and surveillance of citizens' lives without a warrant. The Nazi comparisons, however overblown, were at least apt.

But comparing a program designed to save millions of lower income or unemployed Americans from a lifetime of traumatic health issues to a program designed to slaughter innocent people? Comparing government provided health insurance to genocide? Painting a Hitler mustache on a poster of Obama? Yelling Zeig Heil, the Nazi salute (while apparently wearing an Israeli Defense Forces T-Shirt)!?! Have these people gone nuts?!?!?!

There are no death panels. And even if you horribly misinterpreted the end of life counseling provision in the bill, guess what? It's been erased. This is simple, people. If you have health insurance, great, you're good. Sit back and relax. If you don't, now you do. And it may not be perfect (those breast implants will still cost you), but its a damn sight better than what you have now. Which is nothing.

And if you're one of those people who worries about the pennies being taken from your paycheck, consider this. Those pennies are nothing compared to the billions the government already spends on healthcare (and already taxes you for)... money they have to spend because uninsured people never go to the doctor, so their minor ailments become major ones, and then their care ends up costing ten times more than what it would have. Most of the world's been having free health care for years, and they haven't collapsed. The for-profit system benefits huge insurance companies... and if you want to see how, just watch John Grisham's The Rainmaker for crying out loud. I'm not expecting you to watch Michael Moore's Sicko. Frankly, that guy freaks me out too.

So save the Nazi talk for Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds. And start getting on board Obama's plan to save you money and save 50 million people.

Creepy Cat



Cat plays furry Grim Reaper at nursing home

or, as I would headline the article:

Killer Cat Gets Away With Murder Spree

In short, in a Rhode Island nursing home, there's a cat named Oscar who has an uncanny ability to "predict" when someone's going to die. 25 times, at last count, this "gifted" cat has curled up next to patients who then kicked the bucket mere hours later.

No one finds this the least bit fishy?

I mean... if a nurse was around 25 patients who died within hours of being with her... wouldn't that be cause for an investigation??

“He doesn’t make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die,” said Dr. David Dosa.

Of course he does.

Dosa said Oscar seems to take his work seriously and is generally aloof. “This is not a cat that’s friendly to people,” he said.

They said the same thing about Ed Gein.

Doctors say most of the people who get a visit from the sweet-faced, gray-and-white cat are so ill they probably don’t know he’s there, so patients aren’t aware he’s a harbinger of death.

Well... that's comforting to know.

Oscar recently received a wall plaque publicly commending his “compassionate hospice care.”

Wake up people!! You've got a seriously twisted kitty on your hands! Where's Agent Starling's dog when you need her?

One thing's for sure, I'm not sending anyone I know to that nursing home.