New York City Wacky Japanese Gift Guide

The gift guide continues...

Those Japanese are really ahead of the curve. I mean, first, Nintendo. Then sushi. Then Tamagachi. Then Alyssa Milano and Jennifer Love Hewitt as major pop stars. Well, okay, maybe they don't know music. But they good know what looks good and is fun to play with. Us Americans struggle to keep up. Unless you shop at these stores below, beacons of Japanese brilliance shining through the concrete caverns of New York City:

The Store: AC Gears, 69 E. 8th St.

What You'll Find:

Takaratomy Air Guitar Pro Acoustic, $55.99. Air guitarists everywhere now have an alternative to Guitar Hero and Rock Band.

Also look for: Cool gadgets like the Dreams DJ Speaker, a keychain-sized device that allows you to DJ-scratch along with your iPod, cool accessories like Angel and Devil Earphones, and the most fun alarm clock you'll ever see, the Bandai Gun Oclock Alarm Clock:



The Store: Kid Robot, 118 Prince St.

What You'll Find:

Yummy Breakfast Keychain, $4.95 ea. Who doesn't want a smiling short-stack of pancakes holding their keys together?

Also look for: Vinyl and metal figurines ranging from the dark and subversive (Cannibal FunFair Figurines) to the adorable and deplorable (cigarette-addicted Smorkin` Labbits).

The Store: Giant Robot, 437 E. 9th St.

What You'll Find:

Lie Detector Toy, $21.00. Now you can tell if they really like their gift.

Also look for: Unique stocking stuffers like the furry monster-shaped Domokun Small Coin Purse, Super Mario Brothers keychains. Also, er, the I'm-not-convinced-it's-innocent Elite Banana Massager, shaped like the fruit.

Japanese People Are Weird...

...but they love Obama:



So, yeah... go vote for him.

Courtesy of Clicked.

PLUS: Just in case you think Sarah Palin's qualified for Vice President:



Not sure what the dancing people have to do with anything, but it's pretty funny.

Are The Japanese On Drugs??



They brought us unparalelled technology, ushering in the age of handheld electronics and sophisticated automobiles. Sony, Toyota, Mitsubishii... the Japanese always seem to be on the leading edge. Which is why this New York Times article about a new Japanese fashion trend is so disturbing.

Apparently, the Japanese are so afraid of crime, that people are developing disguises that can fool would-be muggers into thinking their victim is a coke machine.

Yes.

Now... I'm not a mugger. So I can't pretend to know what they think. But if I see a guy dressed as a coke machine, I'm probably MORE LIKELY to kick the shit out of them. It's just so damn tempting.

Not to mention the embarassment that can ensue when someone accuses you of eating their quarters.

Take the “manhole bag,” a purse that can hide valuables by unfolding to look like a sewer cover. Lay it on the street with your wallet inside, and unwitting thieves are supposed to walk right by.

Um, yes... walk right by. After snatching the odd-looking manhole-shaped purse from it's easy pickins placement on the street.

I sincerely hope this is some kind of joke. Because if it isn't, then I suspect some Japanese may be slippin a little somethin extra into their sake.

“It is just easier for Japanese to hide,” Ms. Tsukioka said. “Making a scene would be too embarrassing.” She said her vending machine disguise was inspired by a trick used by the ancient ninja, who cloaked themselves in black blankets at night.

Oh.. yes. Dressing as a coke machine? Not embarrassing at all. In fact, it's just what the ninjas would do... if they wanted to fight an army of sentient vending machines.

“These ideas might strike foreigners as far-fetched,” she added, “but in Japan, they can become reality.”

Then again, maybe she does have a point. I'm sure many people thought the idea of a Furby was pretty far-fetched. Maybe the Coke-machine disguise will catch on.

And even if it doesn't, it'll make a hell of a Halloween costume.