Eureka! The World's Greatest Invention!!!!!

Just kidding. This thing is creepy weird.

Let's just say "Ear Spoon" is not a term marketers should use.

Creepy Cat



Cat plays furry Grim Reaper at nursing home

or, as I would headline the article:

Killer Cat Gets Away With Murder Spree

In short, in a Rhode Island nursing home, there's a cat named Oscar who has an uncanny ability to "predict" when someone's going to die. 25 times, at last count, this "gifted" cat has curled up next to patients who then kicked the bucket mere hours later.

No one finds this the least bit fishy?

I mean... if a nurse was around 25 patients who died within hours of being with her... wouldn't that be cause for an investigation??

“He doesn’t make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die,” said Dr. David Dosa.

Of course he does.

Dosa said Oscar seems to take his work seriously and is generally aloof. “This is not a cat that’s friendly to people,” he said.

They said the same thing about Ed Gein.

Doctors say most of the people who get a visit from the sweet-faced, gray-and-white cat are so ill they probably don’t know he’s there, so patients aren’t aware he’s a harbinger of death.

Well... that's comforting to know.

Oscar recently received a wall plaque publicly commending his “compassionate hospice care.”

Wake up people!! You've got a seriously twisted kitty on your hands! Where's Agent Starling's dog when you need her?

One thing's for sure, I'm not sending anyone I know to that nursing home.

Shine On Jarett Macli, Shine On

When I was a sophomore in high school, our JV football coach was a man named Jarett Macli.

Now, when I say "man," I mean Macli was 25, a recent college dropout, back at the old high school he used to go to, in order to make some cash and relive some of his glory days on the football field. He was a kicker. He didn't shave that often. He was INTENSE.

One game, we were up 14-0 at halftime. We gathered around Macli for some words of wisdom. He kneeled down in the middle of us as we stood in a circle, and shook his head.

"Do you guys love football?" He asked.

There were a few mumbled "Yeahs."

He shook his head again. He looked up at us with a bloodshot, crazed look in his eyes. "You guys gotta love football. You guys gotta dream football. You guys gotta breathe football."

At this point, he looked over at Osita "O-Train" Mbadugha. Osita's knee was skinned, glistening red and pink in the dull afternoon light.

Macli reached out.

"You gotta taste football."

And with that, in one swift, shocking motion, he wiped Osita's wound with his dirty fingers, brought his hand back, now covered in blood and a scrap of skin, and licked it clean. "Now get back out there!!!" He shouted.

We lost miserably.

I thought Macli was the only one in the world insane enough to do such a thing (last I heard, he was running a winery in New England) but today, I read this:

Football Coach Licks Wounds

Macli's spirit lives on.

Shine on, Jarett Macli, wherever you are, Shine on.