Showing posts with label superbowl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label superbowl. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Broken Gronk? Don't Believe It, Giants

Gronkowski wearing boot on lower left leg

Jan 23, 6:29 pm EST

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. (AP)—New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski is wearing a removable boot on his lower left leg after being injured in the AFC championship game.

Gronkowski wore the boot as he walked through the locker room and into the trainer’s area on Monday. He did not speak with reporters.

The second-year star, who set an NFL record for a tight end with 17 touchdown catches, was hurt in the final minute of the third quarter of Sunday’s 23-20 win when he was tackled after a 23-yard reception. He limped off the field but seemed to be walking better as he went to the locker room. Less than five minutes later, Gronkowski was back in the game.

He finished with five catches for 87 yards.
Hmm... the key to the Patriots offense in a walking boot prior to the Superbowl against the Giants. Where have I heard this before??

Oh yeah: Broken Brady? Don't Believe It, Giants.

Last time these two teams met in the Superbowl, it ended with my friends and I parading through the Manhattan streets, shouting "18-1" into well-known Boston fan bars.

I'm hoping for a repeat.

Monday, February 02, 2009

So The Boss Rocked The Superbowl, And Totally Nailed Himself In the Nuts

Watch the whole thing of course, but for those of you who might enjoy seeing a legendary rock star smash his crotch into a videocamera while executing an enthusiastic stage slide, just skip to 3:16 in the video below:



From MSNBC:
"He opened with “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out,” and worked in one of his trademark across-the-stage knee slides.

The move wasn’t without risk: He slid into one of the on-stage cameras, and seemed to be winded when he transitioned into “Born to Run.”"
Bruce's move led to one of the all-time funniest Yahoo! Answers Questions.

It's not even noon the next day, and Bruce's slide is already an internet sensation: Bruce Springsteen's Crotch Slide A Hit On The Web

Bruce, Ouch
Ouch

To Bruce's credit, he played it off with a smile and still managed to totally turn Tampa into Jersey, for 12 minutes at least.

(that's a good thing.)

Monday, February 04, 2008

Better Than Perfect

Champions

"They were feeling good. But we didn't treat them like an undefeated team. We didn't treat them like some Greek myth. There was no Godzilla out there.'' - New York Football Giants Wide Receiver David Tyree

Pandemonium in the streets. Chants of 18 and 1!! echoing from bars. New York City was celebrating last night, and it will be celebrating all month, if not all year, after watching the greatest upset in the history of professional football.

New York hasn't had much to celebrate recently. Since 2001, when the terrorists attacked the World Trade Center, New York sports hadn't had a good time of it. The Yankees lost to the Diamondbacks that year. Then the Marlins beat the Yanks (two recent expansion clubs! over the venerable Yankees!). Then came the infamous Red Sox disaster, when the Yankees held a 3-0 lead in the series and blew it, allowing Boston to win its first World Series since before electricity. Then came the bug game in Cleveland. Even the Mets decided to destroy the hearts of New Yorkers by seemingly locking in a playoff spot last season and then tanking it. I don't need to discuss other sports. The Knicks have been a joke for quite some while. The Rangers never played to their potential, and who knows about the Metrostars? Yes, the past few years have not been good to the Big Apple.

Last night changed all that. The Giants abused Patriots quarterback Tom Brady all night, treating him like the two-timing bastard he is. Not even Brady's dimpled chin could slow down the onslaught of the Giants' defensive line.



Brady fumbled that ball just like he fumbled his paternal responsibility for his child.

The Patriots took the lead late, but I still believed victory was possible. The Giants had time.

With a brilliant evasive move by Eli Manning, and a "how-the-hell-did-he-do-that?" catch by David Tyree, the Giants kept their hopes alive.



Chills, seriously.

For those of you who don't follow the Giants, or football... Eli Manning has been criticized his entire career for poor decision-making. And that guy who caught the pass, David Tyree? Well, Amani Toomer, the Giants' longtime wideout summed it up nicely: "He was dropping everything in practice Friday. " Toomer was being kind. Tyree's dropped everything for 20 weeks.

In that one play, they became legends.

Manning, Tyree, Best Football Players Ever

And a few plays later, Plaxico Burress, who is missing one entire leg (and has been all year), completely faked out the Patriots defense and scored on a wide open pass play in the end zone. A few seconds later, that was all she wrote. I cried tears of joy. I wept like a baby.

The Patriots pursuit of perfection derailed. Boston fans everywhere hanging themselves. I went out to celebrate with friends, and Professor Thom's, a bar owned by Bostoners, wouldn't let us in, because we were chanting "18-1." Screw em. Let them have their shitty, empty, depressing bar. We'll take the greatest victory the NFL has ever seen (since the last time a New York team... the Jets... upset a heavily favored Goliath.)

Congrats to the Giants!! I may have badmouthed them at times this year, and at one point, even called for Tom Coughlin's firing. But that's all in the past. Life-time contract for Tom I say. And long-live Eli, the King of New York.

"Forget that parade in Boston. We're having one in New York City.'' -Giants Defensive End Michael Strahan



-------------------
PLUS: Bill Simmons, Boston fan, is a very gracious loser. He also points out that the miracle play has yet to have a name. Adam's Life will be taking suggestions. Post them in the comments below.

Here's my suggestions:

The Perfect Play
The Impossible Play
The Drunken Kangaroo Play (that's the best I can describe the "look" of the play)
The Desert Mirage (because i still can't believe it was real)
The E.T. Play (because the Eli to Tyree play seemed extraterrestrial... and resembled Elliot's flight silhouetted by the moon)
Supernatural (that's what David Tyree called it)

eh... help me out here.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Broken Brady? Don't Believe It, Giants

I don't think so.

The news today, on its surface, should make New York Giants fans cheer: New Endland Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was seen wearing a cast on his leg. But Big Blue Boosters shouldn't get too excited... I have a feeling this is all an elaborate ploy by coaching mastermind Bill Belichik.

Suddenly finding his team about to face a red-hot, determined Giants squad, Bill needed to find a way to lull the Giants into a false sense of security. By making Brady look injured, he's hoping the Giants won't prepare as hard to face him.

What evidence to I have for this?

Curt Schilling's "Bloody Sock."

Fake!!

A sports journalist reported that Red Sox cather Doug Mirabelli told him that Schilling's bloody sock was faked. Of course, Mirabelli denied it, and the sports journalist recanted. But I still don't trust those Bostoners. If Schilling can fake a bloody ankle to lull the Yankees to sleep, then is it so far-fetched to think Brady, another chowda-head, wouldn't do the same thing?

After all, Brady is far from a stand-up guy. As we all recall, he left:

Pregnant Bridget

for

Un-Pregnant Gisele

Need more evidence? He was spotted LAST NIGHT without the walking cast. Shenanigans!!

All Better?

So my advice to the Giants? Practice as if Brady is perfectly fine. Actually, practice as if he just got a robot super arm installed. And 4-wheel-drive. And laser beams for eyes. Because if it's two things we know, its that we can't trust Bill Belicheat's injury report and we can't trust New England sports stars.

Let's Go Blue!!

Friday, March 09, 2007

Brady Going For A Two-Peat?

Brady, Most Valuable Player

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is at it again. A Brazilian newspaper reports that he's knocked up his second breathtakingly beautiful celebrity in 3 weeks. This time, it's supermodel Gisele.

Gisele Preggos?
Gisele, A Maternity Model??

I took an old article and updated it to match this startling new development.

Brady living the perfect dream

By Tim Polzer
with additional reporting by Adam Hunter


(Mar. 9, 2007) -- Minutes before Super Bowl XXXVI, most Patriots players were attempting to get a handle on what was about to be the biggest game of their lives. While veterans considered how long they had waited to get to the ultimate game and younger players attempted to block out any thoughts of how they might screw up the rare opportunity, Tom Brady took a unique approach. The first-year starting quarterback who began the season toting a clipboard behind an established veteran, studied the locker room, found a seemingly comfortable place, banged a supermodel, and took a nap.

Five years, three Super Bowl rings and a pair of Super Bowl Most Valuable Player performances later, nobody needs to wake Brady up. He's living a dream and seemingly doing it in his sleep.

"It really has been an incredible year," Brady said. "A lot of players don't ever get a chance to make it with one incredibly hot model/actress, so I know how fortunate I am to be a guy that has done it over and over and over."

Brady has not only made it with his second model in one year, he's put himself into position to go 2-0 in the pregnancy game. Brady's unflappable head coach, Bill Belichick, appreciates his quarterback's clutch performances in his own understated way.

"I don't think the magnitude of the girl or the crowd noise or the situation bothers him," Belichick said. "He's able to focus on what he has to do and usually does a pretty good job with it." Pretty good job, huh?

Brady's pretty good job résumé is flawless. He remains undefeated in eight attempts to do impossibly beautiful women. His calm approach to high-pressured situations has produced two babies with model/actress Bridget Moynihan and supermodel Gisele. His heroics in doing those unforgettable hotties has even made some forget his first playoff feat: directing the game-tying and game-winning drives in the snow against the Raiders in their 2002 divisional playoff classic.

Whether rain or snow or constant comparison to Joe Montana on the world's biggest sports stage, Brady doesn't flinch or fluster. From that moment in 2001 when he entered the huddle as a mid-game replacement for then-Patriot Drew Bledsoe, Brady has been having more unprotected sex with models than any man in New England.

"Tom brings a whole aspect to his game where he's calm, cool and collected. He's not a guy that's going to be all nervous and start screaming and stuff," guard Joe Andruzzi said. "Take for instance the last two models. The last two minutes of sex he'd say 'alright guys, it's up to us, let's go do this thing.' He calms the girls down when they're in a tough position but they know what has to be done. He relaxes the bedroom."

Brady's ability to absorb the demeanor and spoils usually relegated to more veteran lovers, boils down to his work outside the bedroom. Brady does his homework and pays his dues.

Tom Brady continues to point his member in the right direction.
"Nobody works any harder or does any more to prepare for a girl than Tom. He's been consistently one of the hardest workers in the bedroom and has been recognized as such," Belichick said. "His preparation, week-in and week-out, is exceptional. He studies the game plan very hard. He studies his women well and has a good command of not only what he's doing, but what the girl is doing and things to expect."

As the hype for Brady Babies I & II builds to a crescendo, many pundits are attempting to compare him to the game's most celebrated quarterbacks. If you were an model, would you rather have Daunte Culpepper, Donovan McNabb or Tom Brady? While the first two names have established themselves as constants atop the NFL's statistical charts, its Brady's "bottom-line" success that keeps him out of their shadows. He doesn't single-handedly take over a model as much as he controls her with execution and poise. It's something his teammates now take for granted.

"[It's] his decision making. He makes great decisions," receiver Troy Brown said. "That's what it really comes down to. Not making the bad calls and doing some ugly chicks, and just making good decisions with his football."

Belichick was a little more effusive. "I think Tom is a good lover, period. He has been blitzed, he has been three-woman rushed, they've played man and they've played zone. He understands what he's trying to do and how to handle different situations. He is a quick decision maker and doesn't hold onto one girl too long. He can figure it out, find the model and try to give it to her."

To get that third Brady Baby in four weeks, Brady will have to make nothing but good decisions with New York's Scarlett Johansson, known for confusing lovers like Josh Hartnett and Justin Timberlake.

Scarlett w Hartnett She's So Hot
Will Brady Step Up?

Brady finds himself surrounded by the attention caused by the Brady Baby news this week, but his habits haven't changed.

"It's like any other week," Brady said. "You watch every model/actress, you see their every line of defense. You evaluate them and develop the game plan you think is best. When the ball is kicked off, it's business as usual. You go out there and perform like you do every other game."

Brady's ability to perform with Scarlett like every other model/actress could mean another Brady Baby and another Most Valuable Player of the Year award, which would raise his accomplishments closer to those of Wilt Chamberlain-- another athlete who's superior physical skills dropped babies in every girl in town. But unlike Brady, those girls weren't always models or actresses. Another Brady Baby would spawn another round of conjecture on how Brady will be remembered.

"Being able to do hot models and stay cool under pressure. He's been able to make big plays in key situations. He works hard in the weight room, works hard in the film room, and he really shows guys how it's supposed to be done," Brown said. "There will be a lot of guys that are going to follow in his footsteps if they can have the kind of success that he has, if they can put the time that he has into it."

---------------------------

[UPDATE] Gisele's family denies the pregnancy, but no word from Gisele yet.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Best Superbowl Ad

Dissed by Time Magazine's Superbowl Ad Roundup (by someone with no sense of humor), and ignored completely by MSNBC's voting system, this Bud Light Ad was by far the best of the crop, eliciting the most laughs from everyone at Louis Klein's Bowl Bash:



Time's reviewer obviously hasn't seen the constant commercials for "The Hitcher," which this commercial mimics nicely. In fact, I thought it was an ad for "The Hitcher" before Bud Light was mentioned. Nice parody.

The Nationwide Kevin Federline Ad came in a close second, while people commented that Coca-Cola's take on "Grand Theft Auto" would actually make a good, positive video game. Bud Light's "Rock, Paper, Scissors" Ad also was a big hit.

Failing to make a positive impression: Those crappy Fan-created Doritos Ads, Sheryl Crow's Revlon Ad, and the nonsensical "Budweiser Crab Ad." A cooler does not look like a crab, no matter how you try to manipulate the image. That's a huge stretch.

Oh, and the game was pretty wacky too.

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