Reflections On Derek Jeter's 3000th Hit, Life

I was there. Three words that are oh so satisfying.



I bought the tickets off of Stubhub... well over a month before the game. Well before Derek Jeter was injured, delaying the inevitable milestone. I bought them for my dad, my mom, my sister and myself for Father's Day. I had no idea back then what a momentous occasion we'd be witnessing.

The video above doesn't quite do the job of capturing the euphoria of Jeter's big moment. All the Jeter-haters out there who cry "overrated" won't ever fully understand it, but I know what the Yankee captain's achievement meant to me, and what it probably meant to many others around my age who grew up to be Yankees fans.

You see, the Yankees of my youth were a mercenary organization (and some would argue, still are). They hired the best guns and sluggers from around the league, mostly guys who were too old or had worn out their welcome in other locales. In the late 80s and early 90s, when my baseball fandom was being developed, the Yankees resembled the cast of The Expendables, a collection of action stars past their prime. Sure, there was Donnie Baseball, but back problems signaled his career was near an end.

Then came 1995. I was 13 years old. My Bar Mitzvah theme was "A Night At The Ballpark." For me, that was also the year that cemented the Yankees as my favorite team. I'd grown up rooting for the Mets, against the rest of my family's wishes. My favorite players were David Cone and Darryl Strawberry. But the Mets had betrayed me. By 1992, they'd given away the players I loved. In 1995, The Yankees signed the Straw and Cone. That won me over.

They also briefly promoted a rookie shortstop, Derek Jeter. I identified with the rook, after all, he wasn't much older than me-- only 8 years. I watched his debut against Seattle on TV. The box score says he went 0-5, but I don't remember that. I just remember the announcers saying how much potential he had, how he was a top prospect. Instantly, I imagined myself in his shoes.

I grew up. So did Jeter. He hit his first Major League homer Opening Day, just before I graduated middle school. That summer, I watched him hit his way to becoming Rookie of the Year. I was in the common TV area of my dorm freshman year of boarding school when I saw Jeter hit a deep shot that was caught by a kid just a little younger than me in the home run stands, tying the first game of the American League Championship series. My freshman year of college, for Halloween, I dressed as a Mets fan that had been beaten by Yankees fans-- a tribute to the Subway Series. I won a camera as first prize in my dorm's costume contest, Jeter won the World Series MVP award. This year, as Derek has seemingly entered a new stage in his career, so have I-- I moved in with the girl I love and have come to terms with the fact that at age 29, adulthood is here whether I'm ready for it or not.

So in many ways, it felt like Derek and I grew up together. He was the first player I watched transform from a rookie, to an all-star, and now, in his twilight years, to a legend. In an age where we're reminded daily that sports are a business and the players we love appear on ESPN to announce their departures, it's rare for a fan of any team to be able to watch a player grow up in their backyard. So it was fitting that on the day he reached a milestone only 27 others had reached before, I was in the stands, cheering him on.

I'd seen Derek's 3000th hit before, playing the video game MVP Baseball 2005. In my virtual franchise, it had taken him until 2012, due to injuries (I screamed at my Nintendo Gamecube, "Don't you know Derek never gets injured!?"). With two outs in the bottom of the ninth, the bases loaded and down by three, Jeter came to bat. I followed the pitch in and mashed the A button, pushing the control stick right. The ball sailed. An opposite field, grand slam homer. In my head, the crowd roared. The video game announcer congratulated virtual Jeter on the milestone.

Back to reality. Real life doesn't go like that. If it's one thing I've learned growing up, it's that perfect endings only happen in movies. I've experienced many successes and many happy moments, but rarely has my life lived up to the wild fantasies of my imagination.

Jeter's first at bat against David Price, he hit a roller that snuck through the left side of the infield. The type of hit he's been getting recently, as the bat has slowed. The crowd went wild, not because they were impressed with the hit, but because they all were thinking the same thing. He'll be at bat at least 4 more times this game-- I have a shot at witnessing history.

Then came Jeter's next at bat. He worked the count. Fouled a pitch off. The crowd chanted, "Deh-rek Jee-ter!!" over and over again. Price wound up and delivered.

Everybody knew the ball was gone the second Derek swung. It wasn't a grand slam to the opposite field, but it seemed like that, something that happens in video games and dreams, not real life.

Jeter ended the game 5 for 5. Perfect. Won the game single-handedly. And while he may be batting .257 on the year with diminishing range and increasing critics, he looked like the kid I watched when I was just a kid myself, all those years ago.

I was there. So were the others in the stands, screaming their voices out. So were the Yankees fans watching at home. Yes, he's a mensch, and yes, he plays hard, always, but the reason we love Derek Jeter is bigger than that. He's been our benchmark, our standard, a physical embodiment of the best bell curve the course of our lives could follow, from potential, to stardom, to marrying Minka Kelly.

Jeter's 3000th hit wasn't just a milestone for him. It was a milestone for us.


______

Yankees Season Ticket Department Screws Up Again, This Time, Worse

Who the heck is running the show inside the Yankees Season Ticket Office?

For the second time in two years, an email was sent to hundreds of Yankees season ticket holders, revealing personal information to strangers. The first time the Yankees revealed personal information, it was only email addresses... someone used CC (not Sabathia) instead of BCC, a major mass-email no-no that exposed the personal email addresses of hundreds of people (and potential spammers). This time, the Yankees employee went even further, attaching a handy dandy spreadsheet of names, addresses, phone numbers, fax numbers and email addresses-- and the seats they have in Yankee Stadium.

Deadspin first reported the details on the Yankees season ticket holders privacy breach yesterday afternoon. More than 20,000 people were affected, all in non-premium seating-- which means that once again, the Yankees management has screwed the true, blue collar fans and pampered the wealthy people who never show up to games and keep the seats around the infield empty for the majority of the year.

A call to Ken Cleary, Account Executive of Season Ticket Sales & Services, went unanswered Thursday morning. But his email to those affected (including me) indicated that "immediately upon learning of the accidental attachment of the internal spreadsheet, remedial measures were undertaken so as to assure that a similar incident could not happen again."

I assume that would mean the idiot who did this was fired? Maybe not. The original email came from Ken, the same person who later blamed "an employee."

Of course, the personal information was revealed on Monday. It took until Wednesday for the Yankees to send an apology and acknowledgment of the mistake. This is actually better response time than the last time... where they never apologized at all.

Also disturbing, the "recall message" we received shows that whoever sent the email has a huge gap of understanding when it comes to using email. Once an email is sent, you ain't getting it back, buddy. Perhaps the Yankees should use Google's "Mail Goggles."

The things one could do with this list is troubling. It goes beyond spam. Let's say you were wondering who the hot blonde was in Seat 24, Row 11, Section 235. The list could tell you that. Already, my cousin and I are joking about greeting all the people in our row by name next time we go to the stadium.

It's not inconceivable that an enterprising person who wanted to upgrade their seats for the following season could call up the people who held their desired seats, and find out whether they're re-upping for next season. If they're not, they could circumvent the Yankees and arrange to transfer the tickets.

And that's not even getting into other potential abuses. Con artists looking to scam people out of their credit cards could pretend to be Yankees reps, calling people on the list. After all, they know their seat numbers, account codes... it would sound legit to an unwary ticket holder.

Thanks a lot Yankees. It was bad enough you stuck us with a package involving multiple Royals and Orioles games, including two weekday 1:00 games. Now this.

UPDATE (May 2): Got a call back from Mario Oliveri, Yankees Season Ticket account executive. He assured me that the Yankees take this seriously, but repeated the company line that "no information was released that can't be found on Google." Except, you know, unlisted telephone numbers, those seat numbers, and the Yankees account number. He said that they've updated their security procedures, securing spreadsheet files, and making sure they ask additional information from those calling in, like "what credit card did you use to make your purchase?" When I pointed out that a scammer could ask the same thing, Mario said that everybody is aware of the situation, so they're less likely to fall for a scam.

I was hoping they'd offer something, anything, to make up for their sloppy security and revealing information that people would rather not have distributed to thousands of others. A Yankees seat cushion? A free pen? But it seems the Yanks are content to ride this one out, and if they lose a customer or two, they're not too worried about it.

It's Time To Overthrow Our Ticketmaster

Tunisia, Egypt, Libya... the masses have finally risen up to overthrow their corrupt and heartless dictators. But there remains one brutal tyrant who continues to oppress millions of people, shattering their hopes and dreams, coddling the rich and powerful at the expense of the working class.

I'm talking, of course, about Ticketmaster.

I've written before about my frustrating experiences with Ticketmaster. If it was up to me, I'd never use the service ever again. But Ticketmaster holds, for all intents and purposes, a monopoly over the online retail of concert and event tickets. If you want to see the Yankees, Ticketmaster is the only place online where you can buy tickets at face value.

Ahem, I mean, try to buy tickets at face value. Because you won't be able to. Because Ticketmaster isn't designed to sell tickets. It's designed to force the majority of people to look elsewhere for tickets-- resellers TicketsNow (owned by Ticketmaster) and StubHub.

If that wasn't the case, why make it so difficult to see what tickets are available? Stubhub uses an easy system in which every ticket that's available is listed-- one can click on the section you want and presto-- a list of the tickets for sale in that section are presented.

Ticketmaster, however, uses a blind system. There's no way of telling how many tickets are left, or in what sections. You can be "waiting in line" for a few minutes, only to be told in the end that there are no seats available. And when that message "No Seats Available" pops up, you're not offered with great alternatives. You're given a choice of splitting your order (looking for one seat in one section, one in another section) or going back and restarting the (long) process over again.

How many times do I have to type in a complicated, non-English CAPTCHA before Ticketmaster accepts I'm a human being?

What benefit does hiding the available tickets provide? Nothing for fans. But for ticket resellers and powerful ticket brokers, the system is a boon. Let's say Ticketmaster wants to make a bigger profit. Will they make it by selling tickets at face value? Or will they make it by holding a bunch of tickets, then dumping them on their reselling site, TicketsNow, where they can charge scalper prices? If the system weren't blind, it would be obvious that Ticketmaster was withholding certain seats for resale or for powerful ticket brokers. The closed system helps Ticketmaster avoid scrutiny.

The ticket buying experience on Ticketmaster isn't anything like buying tickets at a normal ticket booth. If you wait in line at a ticket booth, when you reach the front, you're leaving with a ticket. This is not the case when you wait on the Ticketmaster website. You can spend all day on the site (which I can attest to) and even though nothing is listed as sold out, you still can't get anything.

The only way to easily get tickets is to put "Best Available" as your choice. You'll undoubtedly be offered the best seats in the house-- for tons of money. As such, the system rewards the rich, while those trying to be economical are madly scrambling to find the few available seats scattered in other sections.

I had this experience today, at 10:01 AM. Yankees tickets went on sale at 10:00. But everything except the worst of games (Toronto, 1:00, weekday) were already gone (though you wouldn't know it unless you tried, repeatedly).

Then I looked at the tickets available on StubHub and TicketsNow. Every section was available... for marked-up prices. Funny... I actually wanted to go to a game, not resell my tickets for profit. But I couldn't do it on Ticketmaster. I wonder how all these resellers got theirs? Did they snap up tickets seconds before me? Or did somebody give them a little help? I wonder???

As long as Ticketmaster keeps us blind, we'll never know.

I Would Just Like To Point Out That I Called Derek Jeter's New Contract

On November 24th I wrote:

"If you're Theo Epstein, GM of the Boston Red Sox, you've got to be thinking of offering Derek Jeter more than $45 million for three years... Say $51 million for three years."

According to the AP (on December 4th), Derek Jeter signed a 3 year, $51 million dollar contract with the Yankees this weekend.

When I came up with $51 million for three years (on November 24th), that figure hadn't been reported anywhere. I added 2 million a year to the most recently reported Yankee offer, reasoning that would be more in line with what Jeter felt he was worth.

Clearly, Jeter either reads this blog, or his agent does. I can't think of any other explanation.

Derek Jeter To The Red Sox?


Jeter To Boston?

Let's get this out of the way: It'll never happen. Derek Jeter will never be a Red Sox player, just as black will never be red and Jessica Alba will never sleep with me.

But if you're Theo Epstein, GM of the Boston Red Sox, you've got to be thinking of offering Derek Jeter more than $45 million for three years, which is the New York Yankees best reported offer thus far. Just to screw with your biggest rival.

Now, Derek Jeter is probably not worth even close to that kind of money. The Yankees know it, and Derek likely knows it as well. But teams overpay for veterans all the time. It's nothing new, and Jeter carries with him a certain cachet which makes him more valuable in terms of merchandise and ticket sales.

But let's say Boston does offer Jeter more. Say $51 million for three years. What's the worst case scenario for the Red Sox? Jeter actually accepts. That's not that bad an outcome. Currently, the Red Sox have an infield of Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia, Jed Lowrie (a rising star) and... well Marco Scutaro.

Derek Jeter is an upgrade over Marco Scutaro, at least at the plate. And theoretically, if Pedroia was moved to shortstop, Jeter's defensive liabilities could be covered up some at 2nd base. Jeter's skills have declined, but not to the point where he's a bench player. He could add that spark that Boston was missing last year.

And of course, there's an additional bonus for Boston. Yankees fans would kill themselves. This seems to be the main reason Boston fans would support the move.

But Jeter actually accepting a Boston offer is highly unlikely. He's well aware of his legacy, and he's seen how Brett Favre's life has gone these past few years. The likely outcome is far more favorable to Boston than Jeter putting on a Red Sox uniform.

In reality, a Boston offer would terrify the Yankees fan base and put pressure on Brian Cashman and Hank Steinbrenner to get a deal done. It would give Jeter leverage to get more money or more years, handcuffing the Yankees to a potentially geriatric money pit down the line. And it would energize Boston fans during the offseason, at the very least giving them material with which to effectively taunt their hated enemy.

Theo would be playing a game of chicken, sure. But one in which he could be reasonably certain the Yankees would swerve first. And even if they didn't, he'd have a player who could fill a hole in the Red Sox infield while simultaneously stabbing a hole in the Yankees hearts.

As a Yankees fan, I hope Theo doesn't buy into this diabolical scheme. But it's not out of the realm of possibility.

I Won't Be Going To The World Series This Year

The pre-onsale for Yankees World Series tickets began today at 1:00. I refreshed my browser every second from 12:59 until the tickets page popped up. Immediately, I went for bleachers, Game 5. 1 minute waiting time. Sorry, no tickets available.

Next, bleachers, Game 4. 2 minute waiting time. Sorry, no tickets available.

At the same time, my cousin searched too. We abandoned hope of finding two tickets together. We just wanted one ticket. Any ticket. I had two browsers open on my desktop, and a Ticketmaster window open on my iPhone too.

Eventually, we just went for Best Available. $456 dollar seats be damned.

Sorry, no tickets available.

It was then I learned that there had been a "Preliminary Pre-Onsale," earlier, at 10 AM, for some undefined group of eligible ticket licensees.

I hate them all.

My cousin and I did find some seats available. Wheelchair seats reserved for the disabled.

"Just break my back with a baseball bat," my cousin suggested.

What followed was a 20 minute conversation on the different ways we could take advantage of having a wheelchair ticket. "Actually using them would be wrong," I concluded. "But we could buy them and sell them for profit someplace where people in wheelchairs hang out. Like a VFW hall..."

In the end, morality and human decency prevailed. But my cousin said it best:

"Even though i wasn't seriously considering it, I'm sure that at least 20 other people had the same convo today... and I bet some bought them."

Hughes To The Pen, or Vazquez To Mets?

In the offseason, the Yankees picked up Javier Vazquez. By most accounts, they've now picked up Cliff Lee, in a trade with the Seattle Mariners. That leaves the Yanks with six bonafide starters (seven if you include Joba Chamberlain). What are the now pitching-rich Yankees to do? Two options immediately jump out.

1. Move the recently struggling Phil Hughes to the pen, even though he has 10 wins on the year.

2. Trade away Javier Vazquez.

The first option has some merit: the Yankees are trying to limit Hughes's innings this year, and moving him to the pen would accomplish that (however, it could set him back as a starter). Hughes could still be made available for spot starts.

The second option seems more likely. Vazquez's contract is up at the end of the season. While he's turned his season around in recent weeks, the stench of what he did to start the season (and how he performed in his last stint as a Yankee) is hard to forget. There's no denying that in the right setting (i.e. the National League), he can be a superstar. The only question is, what can the Yankees get for him?

Last year for the Braves, Vazquez added 6.6 WAR (Wins Above Replacement Player) in value to his team. So far, this year, he's added only 0.4. But his true value is certainly closer to the 2009 number. A National League team, in the playoff race but in need of a good arm, could certainly use him.

Sounds like the Mets to me.

The Yankees would love to restock their farm system after all the shipping out they've done these past two years (Ian Kennedy, Austin Jackson, Jose Tabata, and now Jesus Montero, to name a few). The Mets are not rich in prospects, but they do have pieces that can fit the Yankees nicely. Fernando Martinez, their top outfield prospect, and Wilmer Flores, their top shortstop in the system, could be down-the-line replacements for Curtis Granderson and Derek Jeter, respectively. Toss in a few lower-level guys, and you've got a deal.

The Mets could really use a guy like Vazquez to solidify their shaky rotation. He had a 2.27 ERA vs. the NL East last season.

And Vazquez wouldn't have to move, so he'd be happy.

People are saying it'll be Vazquez to the Phillies for Jayson Werth, and certainly, the Phillies GM has shown more aptitude for front office management than Mets GM Omar Minaya. But Werth is a piece that doesn't fit as well into the Yankees plans. He adds some pop for now but doesn't address the Yankees long-term needs. I'd take the prospects.

Pettitte Threw A Knuckleball?



In an interview with Yahoo!'s Tim Brown, Jorge Posada reveals that Andy Pettitte was quite the accomplished knuckleballer:

"Andy Pettitte had a knuckleball when he started in the minor leagues. Nasty, too. That was his two-strike pitch in the minor leagues."

(Yes, Pettitte threw a knuckleball for one professional summer – 1991 – in rookie ball and Class-A Oneonta. Posada caught Pettitte in Oneonta. Or, tried. “When I got to two strikes, I was going to throw a knuckler as hard as I could,” Pettitte said. “I struck everybody out with it.” His coaches ordered him to scrap it. One of the coaches was Hoyt Wilhelm, a Hall of Fame knuckleballer. They promised him when he was in the major leagues for 10 years, he could start throwing it again. So? “I can’t,” Pettitte said. “I lost it.” As he recalled, he threw two to Posada. One hit him in the shin, the next in the foot. Posada took off his mitt and warned, “I’m not catching you again if you throw it.” Pettitte: “My nickname was ‘Knucksie.’ I’m not kidding.”)

Knucksie! They do say if it ain't broke, don't fix it, but who wouldn't want to see Pettitte go a little Wakefield on someone's ass? That would be sweet.

Yankees Employee Screws Up



A Yankees employee accidently clicked "CC" instead of "BCC" in a promotional email she sent to nearly 1,000 people. As a result, she revealed nearly 1000 email addresses to total strangers, some of whom, within minutes, were spamming the others on the list with offers for posters and ticket trades.

A quick rundown of the email addresses reveals people working at financial institutions, media companies, military installations and other places that would definitely not appreciate their work emails being broadcast to potentially unsavory characters.

A follow up email simply was an attempt to recall the message... I think we know how that worked out.

I'll accept an apology in the form of Legends Seats tickets.

#27, Let The Ticker-Tape Parade Commence



[[NOTE: Get Your Tickets To City Hall Plaza, HERE]]

I was in a ridiculously crowded bar last evening (Blind Pig, on 14th Street) when Mariano Rivera, the greatest closer in the history of the game, closed out the New York Yankees 27th World Series Championship.

The atmosphere was electric. With every windup came the quickly accelerating claps and stomps that have become the traditional last sound opposing batters hear right before a two-strike cut fastball sends them back to the dugout. When that harmless grounder was scooped up by Robbie Cano, and shoveled to Mark Teixeira at first, you could feel the bar momentarily leave the ground.

The Yankees Win!! Thhheeee Yankees Win!!!!!!

My friend Jay was at the game. I had chosen a tragic, mist soaked Game 1. I hate that bastard right now.

I plan to go to the ticker-tape parade tomorrow, and if your do too, here's some things you should know:

First, an excellently illustrated blog post on the importance of getting there EARLY: The Anatomy of A NYC Parade.

Second, a parade primer:


Click To Enlarge

Third, the parade route map:


Click To Enlarge

And finally, practical advice from around the interweb on how to land a choice spot:

This Will Not Happen To You: Best Parade Ever (Seriously)

One Man's Good Spot: Broadway nr. John St.

Live Blog Of The Giants 2008 Parade: He gets there at 9:21, and that's cutting it close.


My First Ticker Tape Parade They get there around 9:00.


Could This Person See Anything? "Toomer, I Think"

"People were already lined up in front of Trinity Church this morning when I left for work and cars were rolling down Broadway honking incessently – all 4 hours before the Giants even showed up."

This is from the Mayor's Office:

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg announced today that the City will hold a public ticket giveaway at 2:00 PM today through 311, NYC.gov and Twitter for the ceremony honoring the 2009 World Series Champion New York Yankees at City Hall Plaza on Friday, November 6, 2009 at 1:00 PM. The 1:00 PM ceremony, where Mayor Bloomberg will present the Yankees with Keys to the City, will follow the ticker-tape parade up the Canyon of Heroes that begins at 11:00 AM. The sidewalks lining the parade route along Broadway from Battery Place to Chambers Street are open to all members of the public, and the City will set up a large screen near City Hall Park for members of the public to watch the subsequent ceremony. There is very limited space on City Hall plaza for the ceremony itself.

The City will conduct a public giveaway for 500 tickets to the ceremony on Thursday, November 5th from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM through www.NYC.gov/parade and 311. People will also be able to access the entry form through the New York City Mayor's Office Twitter page: twitter.com/NYCMayorsOffice. New Yorkers 18 years and over will have an opportunity to enter the giveaway by visiting www.NYC.gov/parade or calling 311 and selecting the Parade Giveaway menu option. There will not be an opportunity to enter the giveaway before 2:00 PM, and it will end promptly at 4:00 PM. Entrants may only enter once and request two tickets, and will be asked to give their name, email address and phone number in order to enter. Members of the public can become a follower of the New York City Mayor's Office Twitter page by visiting twitter.com/NYCMayorsOffice.

Get There Early, People. Otherwise, don't bother.

Save (A Piece Of) Yankee Stadium



Read on Yahoo! about this project to help preserve a tiny piece of the old Yankee Stadium. I think it's a great idea.

Why completely erase the old stadium from memory? Retaining the one gate from this hallowed ballpark would honor it without ruining the city's plan for park space.

Check it out.

Please, city of New York, don't pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

Yankees Reserve Seats For Either Messiah's or Anti-Christ's Arrival



After weeks of fans, bloggers, and the media speculating why the Yankees don't drop ticket prices for their laughably inaccessible "Legends Seats" behind home plate and along the basepaths (look at that medieval moat!), Adam's Life has uncovered the real reason why the team seemingly doesn't want anyone to sit there.

"This place is a cathedral," an anonymous source told us. "And those seats are reserved for whichever army ends up winning the battle between good and evil."

Privately, the source stated that he personally hopes the "good" side wins, and occupies the extra-cushy, prime view seating. But he emphasized the official Yankee position is neutral.

"If the anti-christ wins, we don't want to offend him. He and his minions will certainly have a right to those seats and the privilege of free access to the Legends Club food service," the source said.

Suspicions were raised after New York University seniors were denied access to the seats for their graduation ceremonies.

"Of course it didn't make sense if we were only reserving those seats for big spenders. There wasn't a game that day," the source said. "But we're anticipating the end of days any minute now, and we need to make sure those seats are untarnished by mere mortals."

Initially, Yankees owner and Order of the Sixth Stone member George Steinbrenner was reluctant to put any price on the seats, but was finally convinced that anybody spending that kind of money had to be a god, angel, or demon. "It was a way to earn a few bucks and meet a few of the holy warriors deciding mankind's fate," the source said.

Yankee fans must be patient, the source urged.

"We know how it looks, with all those empty seats," he said. "But once the apocalypse arrives, all of the supernatural forces, weary from battle, will pour in through those turnstiles and make this a full stadium again. Unless of course, its a weekday series versus the Mariners."

Phil Loadofbull, a biblical scholar, says he became concerned about the Yankees franchise dabbling in armageddonology when he learned the outfield turf of the new stadium was not Kentucky bluegrass but rather sod taken directly from Meggido, prophetical site of the final war between God and the Devil.

"I thought it strange at the time but didn't really voice my concerns until I saw what they did to Monument Park," said Loadafbull. The once holy ground of the Yankees was hidden behind a wall and buried beneath a casino-sponsored den of opulence. "I wouldn't be surprised if the Yankees host the final battle themselves. It'll be one hell of a ballgame. And think of how much they'll make on concessions alone. Incidentally, I'm a big fan of their garlic fries."

The source insists there are no plans for Yankee stadium to be the final battleground, only the site of the post-war celebration. "Of course," he said, "if they wanted to battle here, I'm sure we could find a corporate sponsor."

Yankee Stadium On Sale Today!

The New York Yankees announced today that they've finally reached a deal with the State of New York to sell parts of "The House That Ruth Built."

Apparently, the Yankees still believe people have enough money to pay for $2,500 dollar seats in the new stadium AND $750 for a seat from the old one.

But read the fine print... the $750 dollar "deal" is actually a fraud:

The commemorative seats are authentic seat backs and bottoms with new commemorative arms.

Which means that for $750, you're actually getting only 75% of an old Yankee Stadium seat, combined with a brand new armrest.

So if you really want authentic, a pair of seats goes for $1499.99 (plus $70 shipping), and unlike the solo seats, these are 100% the real thing, not refurbished in any way.

But while seats are undeniably cool (and may even tempt some people in this economy, despite the high sticker), some of the other items up for sale at Steiner Sports are, er... less appealing:

Like, er.. this:


Finally, the Famed Yankee Stadium Goya Beans Sign Can Be Yours!!

Or this:


I Swear Guys, It's From Yankee Stadium! I Have The Certificate Of Authenticity Here Somewhere...

Or this:


Brian Cashman's Filing Cabinet! Just Think Of All The Files He Kept In There!

(Like the ones that said "Don't trade for Johan Santana)

To be fair, there's some cool stuff being offered (The auction price for a "Be Alert Foul Balls" sign is only $200 as of now). And if you have an extra $50,000 dollars lying around, why not spend it on the most ridiculous item of all: the Yankee-logo-emblazoned turf from behind home plate:


Um... So, Okay, Where Do I Put This Exactly?

Your personal 20 x 20 foot piece of Authentic Yankee Stadium Sod from behind home plate with the interlocking NY comes complete with a bag of peat moss, grass seed, and a flag stating its origin: Yankee Stadium. You will also receive a 16x20 photograph of the final game at the original Yankee Stadium, a Joe DiMaggio Diary page along with instructions on how to properly care and maintain the sod, the official interlocking NY logo stencil and white paint. A Yankees-Steiner Letter of Authenticity is included. The grass will be delivered to your house and will be transplanted for you. The highest success for replanting is in the northern regions of the United States.

I guess that means Yankee fans down in Boca Raton are sh*t out of luck.

Can you imagine the discussions with the kid who mows your lawn?

"Yeah, Billy... be extra careful on that $50,000 dollar patch of grass right there."

And... oh yeah; come first snowfall, your investment is going to look like this:


Quick! Roll Out The Tarp!!

For $50,000, I'm expecting the Yankee Stadium grounds crew to come to my home and perform the YMCA:

Yankees Do A Bad Joba Starting Joba


Joba Not In Kansas Nebraska Anymore

Joba Chamberlain made his highly-anticipated first Major League start on Tuesday for the Yankees. Hank "The New Boss" Steinbrenner argued with everybody for the first two months of the season, trying to convince everyone to shift the Native American kid with the 100 MPH fastball from the bullpen into the rotation. He finally got his wish.

Joba pitched 2.1 innings, giving up 1 run and walking four in what would eventually be a 9 - 3 Yankees loss.

Immediately, the press jumped all over Steinbrenner's decision. "Joba's 1st Start a Bust as Jays Top Yanks" ABC News declared. The NYPost called Joba "shaky," and "simply disappointing." WCBS New York went even further, declaring: "Joba Start Just Latest In String Of Disasters." Salon.com called it "Joba's first-start disaster." Today, there's reports that several Yankees players are questioning the move.

Here's why they shouldn't.

This is what Joba Chamberlain did as a starter at the University of Nebraska:
207.3 innings, 3.37 ERA, 232 Ks, 67 BBs, 15 HRs.

This is what Joba Chamberlain did as a starter in the minors:
84.3 innings, 2.56 ERA, 125 Ks, 27 BBs, 4 HRs.

Those figures are pretty hard to top. What they show is a power pitcher with good command over his pitches, who doesn't give up the long ball. That's a recipe for MLB success. One blog, which uses a conversion chart called MLE to translate minor league stats into major league ones, came up with these major league numbers: 4.07 ERA, 83 Ks, 36 BBs, 10 HRs in 84 innings. That ERA would make him better than any starter on the Yankees other than Mike Mussina, and that strikeout rate would beat all of them.

What has Joba done lately to change this positive outlook? Only 33 Ks in 26 innings-- better than his predicted K rate, and only 1 HR allowed, better than his predicted HR rate. He's actually been better than advertised.

Take away the 4 walks he threw in Tuesday's game, and his control isn't too shabby either: 0.46 walks per inning vs. a predicted 0.42 walks per inning.

And I take away those four walks on Tuesday for good reason. The Yankees set up Joba to fail.

That's right. They made it very, very difficult for Joba to be successful.

By announcing a 65-pitch limit, they basically told the Toronto Blue Jays how to beat Joba. By being patient. Toronto knew Joba's start would end after 65 pitches. So Toronto players took pitches (refused to swing) the majority of the time. When they got ahead in the count, they watched the next pitch rather than being aggressive. They often didn't take the bat off their shoulders until there were two strikes. This game plan is typically used against a pitcher known for wildness-- see Daniel Cabrera-- but in Joba's case, it was simply a matter of Toronto hitters wanting to see as many pitches as possible. “We worked him good, we really did,” Blue Jays manager John Gibbons said. Notice he didn't say "hit him" or "beat him," but instead "worked him." The red light was on for the Blue Jays, and on pitches they may have chased on a normal night, they laid off. They weren't trying to slug against Joba, indeed, no ball was hit significantly hard. The lone run scored on a weak dribbler through the 2nd base-1st base hole.

Toronto forced Joba to throw 38 pitches in the 1st inning.

Now imagine you're Joba. You know you have a limited pitch count. What do you do? You try to make every pitch an out pitch. When the pitches start adding up, you're trying even harder to make every toss count as a strike or ground-out. You start aiming pitches instead of letting them fly. This is not how a pitcher is successful. A good pitcher often purposely throws balls to set up strikes later in the count. A good pitcher is willing to induce contact that leads to ground-ball outs and pop flies. Joba wasn't able to do this. Almost every pitch had to be a strike in order for 65 pitches to last the minimum 5 innings required to be credited for a win.

Putting that much pressure on a 22 year old is a recipe for disaster. But Joba actually did well. 3 Ks in 2.1 innings is in line with his career strikeout rate. He didn't give up any big hits. The four walks were more the result of the Toronto strategy of waiting Joba out.

Not wanting to "waste" pitches, Joba threw his two "out" pitches-- a 100 MPH fastball and a wicked slider--90% of the time, almost completely ignoring his change of pace curveball and change-up. Without half his arsenal, he wasn't nearly as deadly as he could have been.

The Yankees mistake was not in making Joba the starter. It was making Joba the starter before his arm was stretched out to pitch at least 5 innings. Perhaps they should have given him a four-inning relief effort before inserting him into the rotation. The Pettite start on June 2nd would have been a nice time to do it. Pettitte could have easily been lifted after putting two on in the bottom of the 6th, with the Yankees clinging to a 2-run lead. Hell, he could have been put into the game after Pettitte already blew the lead. Had he pitched to the conclusion of the game, he would have pitched nearly 4 innings, which would have stretched out his arm enough to pitch this weekend against the Royals, the weakest hitting team in baseball.

That would have been an ideal first start for Joba. Without a 65-pitch limit, against the light-hitting Kansas City squad, it could have been a legendary start to what still promises to be a legendary career.

The good news? Joba will make his second career start Sunday against the Royals, with a somewhat normal pitch count (90-100 pitches). Plus he'll be pitching to Jorge Posada, who will be back from the DL. If you're in a fantasy baseball league, the time to trade for Joba would be now, before he throws the inevitable shutout/no-hitter.

So Yankees and the media. Cut the kid a break. The guy allowed 1 run in 2.1 innings. He retired the side in order in the 2nd. If he had been given permission to pitch a normal game, that may have been the only run he allowed.

Would he be better as a set-up guy? The Yankees are 23-15 in games NOT started by the number 5 combo of Ian Kennedy and Phil Hughes (who are both personally on the hook for 7 losses). They needed someone to start winning those games every 5 days.

I'll be at Joba's start Sunday, and I don't expect to be disappointed. As T.O. would say, "Getcha popcorn ready."

The Rocket Man Returns



Sorry about that weird two line post that got cut off and seemed to advertise for Cingular. I was at the yankee game, with my uncle, his client and a friend, and Roger Clemens shocked everyone and declared he was coming back to the Yanks (which I later found out, took 28 million and perks up to wazoo). I got excited. I wanted to be the first to break the story on my blog. So I tried to publish an entry by cell phone. Clearly, it didn't work.

The Yankee-Seattle game had already seen its share of historic firsts. The first time Darrell Rasner pitched a good game. The first time Wil Nieves and Josh Phelps combined to start a bench clearing brawl. The first time this season that a jelly doughnut slowed down the 4 train (in the daily "Subway Race game on the jumbotron).

Then the bottom of the seventh was about to start. "America the Beautiful" played, then "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" started up. Right after "peanuts and crackerjacks," the song suddenly cut off. Bob Sheppard, the Yankees 200-year old announcer, told the crowd to direct its attention to the owners box behind home plate for an important announcement. Then, on the jumbotron, Roger's face appeared.

It took me a split second to realize it was him. The Rocket. The guy I saw win the 300th game of his career at Yankee stadium. But the crowd started chanting "Roger! Roger! Roger! Roger!" The Rocket said he'd see us again real soon. Highlights played to the sound of Elton John's "Rocket Man." Steinbrenner had done it. He'd buoyed the hopes of every Yankee fan and sunk the hearts of every Red Sox Asshole (hey.. they LIKE that nickname, ok?) And it only cost him 4.5 million a month. Plus, Roger gets to ride Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman like a horse whenever he feels like it.

It was a monumental day for the Yankees. People are already predicting he'll have 12-15 wins and an ERA of around 3.00-- helping the Yanks win the pennant. That's pretty super for a 44 year old. Hell, it's super for a 25 year old.

Interesting side note. Roger will now be on the same team as A-Rod, whom he infamously knocked down twice in the ALCS while picthing for the Yanks. Of course, Clemens also threw a pitch at his own son's head, so I'm sure it was nothing personal. These two should get along.

Rocket, welcome back.

P.S. ESPN's Page 2 featured this great animation.