A Tour Of NYC's Public Pools

This past Saturday, I took advantage of NYC's public pool system (not in the sense that it was drunk and I made a move, but in the sense that I went and enjoyed the pools for free). I wrote about the experience for Neighborbee. Check it out.

The NAACP Is Racist



By Robbie Republican

After all we've done for them, you'd think the African-Americans in this country would be grateful. I mean, we brought them to the land of opportunity, gave them great farm jobs and housing, and re-recorded their music using white singers to help share the fruits of black culture with the world. But no, apparently that's not good enough.

Now, I'm not a member of this "Tea Party" thing. Frankly, I think its a pretty girly name for a movement. Call it "Gun Party," and now we're talking. But when I heard that the NAACP was calling the Tea Party racist just because it's protesting the actions of Barack Hussein Obama, I became a Tea Party sympathizer.

I mean, it's the NAACP that's racist. My good friend Andrew Breitbart dug up a clip from a 2010 NAACP dinner where the keynote speaker, Shirley Sherrod, admits that she discriminated against a white farmer while working for the government Land Assistance Fund. Andrew titled his post, "Video Proof: The NAACP Awards Racism." You hear that people? Proof. And it's shocking:



My one question is why Andrew only presented 2:36 minutes of the 43-minute speech. Surely, the rest of the speech must have also been hugely bigoted and outrageous. Certainly, if we knew the larger context, this video would be even more shocking.

I reached out to the white farming couple who was discriminated against. I wanted to know how they felt being the victims of racism. But clearly, I was too late. They've already been brainwashed by liberal "mindwipe squads," and are now calling Little Miss Racist a "friend for life," who "kept us out of bankruptcy." Horrifying, I know.

Critics of the Tea Party need to understand something. These teabaggers aren't a bunch of racist, crazy, uneducated and ignorant radicals. These are good, honest, hardworking Americans who are fed up with the despotic regime of Barack Hussein Obama and his Democratic cartel. They pine for the sweet, wonderful days of George W. Bush's benevolent, harmonious Presidency, when baby lambs laid down with lions, and the air was filled with butterflies. Do you remember? I do. There was no war in Iraq, everyone's pockets were full with money, and the Gulf Coast was free of any disaster and misery. Remember how carefree we were? Remember how wonderfully the Republicans in charge did their jobs, with no failures or controversy at all? How beautiful life was, with hope on every horizon? Until a Pakastani immigrant named after famous terrorists hijacked our nation in a fraudulent Presidential election and declared the American Eagle an enemy of the state.

We need to get more proof like Andrew's video. More short clips of speeches, more torn out paragraphs and bite-sized quotes. For instance, did you hear Obama called our war for independence from Britain a "tragedy?"

"Obviously, it's a tragedy," Obama said.

Sure, that's from an article about the Spitzer sex scandal (yet another Democrat hypocrite), but you see, Obama could have easily been talking about 1776. It's all about context, people. Removing it takes great effort.

But it's worth it. It's what we have to do to save America. For, me, for you, and for all the white farmers out their suffering under the yoke of black oppression.

Stay strong my brothers!

Till next time.

Yours Truly,
Robbie Republican, Defender of Our Union.

Apple's iPhone 4 Antenna Issue Actually A Good Thing



I don't get all the hubbub about this iPhone 4 antenna issue, which everyone seems to be panicking about (except, you know, actual iPhone 4 users). In fact, if pressing the little black line on the lower edge of the phone really does kill reception and drop calls, it's actually quite a genius feature.

For years, mankind has struggled to end phone calls with ridiculously long talkers. Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine uses a hairdryer to pretend she's in the car, so she has an excuse to stop talking with her friend's long-winded boyfriend?

Well we no longer have to resort to such ruses. With the iPhone 4, simply give your phone the "death grip" whenever a call is lasting a little too long.

"Oh, sorry, I would have loved to listen to all the names you've thought of for your cat... but this damn iPhone!"

"Oh, I didn't hang up on you, Mom. I heard most of your lecture about how I need to get a real job. It was just this phone thing..."

"Don't be silly, of course I wasn't bored by your ruminations on whether you should have chicken salad or tuna for lunch. It's all Steve Jobs' fault."

So rejoice, iPhone 4 owners. You now have a magic button that can act as a get-out-of-call free card any time you need it. Apple should really be selling this as a feature.

Just don't use it on me.

Hughes To The Pen, or Vazquez To Mets?

In the offseason, the Yankees picked up Javier Vazquez. By most accounts, they've now picked up Cliff Lee, in a trade with the Seattle Mariners. That leaves the Yanks with six bonafide starters (seven if you include Joba Chamberlain). What are the now pitching-rich Yankees to do? Two options immediately jump out.

1. Move the recently struggling Phil Hughes to the pen, even though he has 10 wins on the year.

2. Trade away Javier Vazquez.

The first option has some merit: the Yankees are trying to limit Hughes's innings this year, and moving him to the pen would accomplish that (however, it could set him back as a starter). Hughes could still be made available for spot starts.

The second option seems more likely. Vazquez's contract is up at the end of the season. While he's turned his season around in recent weeks, the stench of what he did to start the season (and how he performed in his last stint as a Yankee) is hard to forget. There's no denying that in the right setting (i.e. the National League), he can be a superstar. The only question is, what can the Yankees get for him?

Last year for the Braves, Vazquez added 6.6 WAR (Wins Above Replacement Player) in value to his team. So far, this year, he's added only 0.4. But his true value is certainly closer to the 2009 number. A National League team, in the playoff race but in need of a good arm, could certainly use him.

Sounds like the Mets to me.

The Yankees would love to restock their farm system after all the shipping out they've done these past two years (Ian Kennedy, Austin Jackson, Jose Tabata, and now Jesus Montero, to name a few). The Mets are not rich in prospects, but they do have pieces that can fit the Yankees nicely. Fernando Martinez, their top outfield prospect, and Wilmer Flores, their top shortstop in the system, could be down-the-line replacements for Curtis Granderson and Derek Jeter, respectively. Toss in a few lower-level guys, and you've got a deal.

The Mets could really use a guy like Vazquez to solidify their shaky rotation. He had a 2.27 ERA vs. the NL East last season.

And Vazquez wouldn't have to move, so he'd be happy.

People are saying it'll be Vazquez to the Phillies for Jayson Werth, and certainly, the Phillies GM has shown more aptitude for front office management than Mets GM Omar Minaya. But Werth is a piece that doesn't fit as well into the Yankees plans. He adds some pop for now but doesn't address the Yankees long-term needs. I'd take the prospects.

So I Almost Got Taken By A Nigerian eBay Scam



I recently tried to sell a iPhone 4 on eBay. It was an extra I bought at the Apple Store after quite the experience waiting in line. I figured that if the iPhone 4 was sold out somewhere, or if someone in a country where it wasn't on sale yet wanted it, somebody would buy it from me.

I listed it on eBay at the optimistic starting bid of $999.99. With a Buy It Now option of $1200.

Obviously, this wasn't going to sell. I didn't know this, however. I haven't sold anything on eBay before, so I had no idea how much people expect to bid on these things. But after a week, I still hadn't had any nibbles. My auction ended yesterday, and I figured I'd return the iPhone 4 to the store.

Then I got an email: Your eBay item sold!

I was excited. Even more so when I saw the person had paid the Buy It Now price: $1200!!! I started having visions of taking the girlfriend on a surprise vacation, or at least buying cable for my new apartment.

Then I got a little suspicious. The buyer sent me a message saying he could only pay via PayPal. Fine, I thought, so why didn't he just click the Pay Now button on eBay, which gives the PayPal option? His English was poor, as well: "Bought the phone and paypal is the only way i will make payment. is ok for you???" He didn't have any eBay history on his member profile, and his address, in Canada, was missing his street number.

And $1200? When no one bid at $999.99? Too good to be true. I even called my friend's parents, who often sold things on eBay, confused over the gentleman's odd request to only pay via PayPal. They warned me not to ship anything until PayPal confirmed the money was in my account.

So I sent an invoice via eBay and tacked on a note telling him he could click the PayPal option. Once he paid via Paypal, who cared how shady it was? I would have the money in my account.

Then I got this email this morning:



Awesome, I've been paid with PayPal! So now I can go to the post office and send... hey, wait a minute!

Nigeria???

Now, call me a small-minded bigot if you like, but the country of Nigeria isn't associated in my mind with safety and honest-dealing. Type in "What is Nigeria known for?" into Google and the first result that pops up is "SCAM."

With a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, I typed in "Nigerian ebay scam" into Google. This is what I found:

"The dead giveaway here was the very obvious fake name of the bidder and the suspicious way the email is drafted. The language structure and grammar is very bad and poor. However at that time I didn't notice this as I was really excited about the sale.

The Nigerians are really experienced in this. The subsequent email was created to actually look like it came from Paypal! I was really surprised after I found out that it was all a scam when my dropshipper notified me. On close inspection I realised the sender email was not from Paypal (service@paypal.com) but fundrelease@financier.com (which can be faked quite easily) after clicking 'show details' in Gmail.

So if you are an Ebay seller, especially if you're still learning the ins and outs of Ebay, beware of this tactic! Check carefully the real sender of the email of the bidder."

Sure enough, when I clicked "show details" on Gmail, the email I received from PayPal was not from a PayPal email address. It was from "paypalpaymentalert@mail2pal.com."

The truth is, "Dire Ken" almost got me. If the address had been Canada, and not Nigeria, I may have been none the wiser. He was also a little too generous, offering up $100 dollars for shipping even though I had offered shipping for free. And his messages to me were unnecessary. If I had simply received the spoof PayPal email, and not his slightly-off notes requesting "PayPal only" and the odd insistence that "it's been deducted from my account including extra for postage," I may not have double-checked.

I can't find any way to report this kind of illegal activity on eBay. They warn against allowing payments outside of the eBay system, but there's no easily findable way to report this particular type of scam to eBay.

Let this be a warning to you eBay newbies out there. Always check that the PayPal email you receive is actually from PayPal.com. And if a guy from Nigeria buys your item, be very, very suspicious.