Parrot Reveals Affair



A computer programmer's pet parrot revealed to him that his girlfriend was having an affair.

The parrot kept repeating "I love you Gary." Gary was not the computer programmer's name.

The girlfriend, upon hearing the parrot, confessed.

Meanwhile, the White House parrot, Snickers, mysteriously disappeared after repeating the phrase, "I love Illegal Wiretaps."

And speaking of illegal wiretaps...

"We'd chase a number, find it's a schoolteacher with no indication they've ever been involved in international terrorism - case closed," said one former F.B.I. official, who was aware of the program and the data it generated for the bureau. "After you get a thousand numbers and not one is turning up anything, you get some frustration."

And...

F.B.I. field agents, who were not told of the domestic surveillance programs, complained that they often were given no information about why names or numbers had come under suspicion. A former senior prosecutor who was familiar with the eavesdropping programs said intelligence officials turning over the tips "would always say that we had information whose source we can't share, but it indicates that this person has been communicating with a suspected Qaeda operative." He said, "I would always wonder, what does 'suspected' mean?"

"The information was so thin," he said, "and the connections were so remote, that they never led to anything, and I never heard any follow-up."

So not only were the wiretaps illegal, but they were useless too. Glad to know the Bush administration is in charge.

Then again, as I'm sure conservative bloggers will point out... who is "A former FBI official" and "a former senior prosecutor who was familiar with.. blah blah blah." This is the New York Times for chrissakes!? Get somebody on the record.