A Terror-ific Idea

We all remember the sad, tragic events of 9/11. On that day, Islamic fundamentalist terrorists attacked this nation, striking at the heart of America's commercial and military might. In the aftermath of that day, we all wondered, "How will we protect Louisville, Kentucky in the future?"

Hold up. What?

Well, maybe we didn't think Louisville should be a high priority for the Government's anti-terror funds, but apparently Bush and Co. know something we don't. Because the Department of Homeland Security is cutting 84 million dollars in protection for New York City and 31 million from protecting Washington D.C., giving it to Louisville, Charlotte, NC, and Omaha, NE instead.

Now, the last terrorist attack suffered in Charlotte was back in the 1800's, in a small little thing called the Civil War. And while a college student from Nebraska did make a couple pipe bombs back in 2002, that doesn't quite justify spending millions to make Omaha home to the nation's largest biocontainment facility. As for Louisville, they make a mighty fine baseball bat, but I doubt that terrorists will strike at us by sneaking into the factory and surreptitiously corking Sammy Sosa's bats (or have they already?????!?!?!).

The Terrorist's Next Target???


Once again, this Republican-led government has decided to screw over the legitimate security concerns of blue state America, in favor of granting money to placate the insanely paranoid illogical fears of red staters. Hey, Nebraskaites... YOU'RE NOT GETTING ATTACKED ANYTIME SOON.

If you live in any of the places that received these obvious pork-barrel funds, I implore you. Write your congressman. Tell them to give the money to the states that need it. That's the moral thing to do.