Senate Makes South Dakota Safe From Terror

In a move that will be loudly applauded for its nobility and intelligence, the Senate yesterday made an amendment to Homeland Security spending. If you'll recall, the previous system gave more money to Alaska than New York. Finally, the Senators realized their mistake.

They were giving New York too much money!

History, common sense, the lives of millions be damned. Next year is an election year, and no congressman wants to go back to Nebraska and say to his constituents, "Sorry guys, I couldn't get us the security funds we don't need."

California, New York, New Jersey, Texas, and Illinois, places where our nation has the most people and is most vulnerable, will suffer security budget cutbacks while South Dakota, Wyoming, and Montana (combined population: 4) will recieve cutting edge technology: stealth helicopters, robo-cops, and x-ray beams, courtesy of a generous federal government.

Who supported the shift in anti-terror funds?

Good ol' Joltin Joe "I-Can't-Believe-They-Still-Think-I'm-A-Democrat" Lieberman.

It's hard to believe, after the London attacks, that congressmen from small states could be so callous as to deny proper funding where our nation's security is truly at stake. Red staters are quick to declare themselves "more patriotic," and Republicans are quick to scream "Treason" at every liberal American they meet, but these people won't stand up and say, "Hey, wait a minute... shouldn't we do what's necessary to protect our nation from terrorist attacks, even if the most likely targets are in blue states?"

Yesterday's action by the Senate once again shows the truth about our system. The senators will make grand statements into microphones when everyone is watching, but behind closed doors, when it comes to taking action for the good of the country, they too often have their heads up their asses.